"I didn't realize I loved her. Somehow, I'm surprised how sad I am."
G didn't make it to the wedding yesterday to perform and be my dance partner at my best friend's wedding. He called 10 in the morning to say that a close friend had passed away. Her brother had requested that G stay with her until the coroner arrived.
The show went well and another dancer stepped in to replace G. Our performance group felt a tinge of sadness coloring a champange day.
"It's good that you were available for her and her family yesterday."
"I didn't know I would feel THIS SAD." G told me surprised by a flood of emotions. "I didn't know I had feelings for her."
I felt the same way when my neighbor passed away. She always talked to me and I knew a lot about her life and what made her happy and sad just in passing conversations; conversations that got tucked into my memory bank. It wasn't until after she died that I was present to the fact that she wasn't just a neighbor. I was given a new appreciation for life with her passing.
"I guess I didn't know I could feel so much." G repeated.
"You've found that you are a lot deeper than you allowed yourself to be."
G sits at home mourning his loss... a bit bewildered to a world of emotion that he didn't have access to until yesterday.
I only had 15 minutes to catch up with him today. But I think he'll be fine.
Love is a choice and like water it always finds a space. No corner is impermeable. G woke up this morning to find that despite a veneer he thought he had, he found a hidden corner deep inside of him. And there he found his friend.
JNET
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