Friday, August 7, 2015
My skin is trying to roar. I had a few really good days where I felt happy in my skin. I thought I was strong enough....
To enjoy some jojoba oil.
Boy, am I glad I wasn't ambitious for lotion and makeup.
I'm keeping my skin at bay staying away from moisturizers (again) and taking immune system building supplements that seem to be helping. I didn't schedule a Bax treatment this week. I thought I was feeling better and could taper off. Blast.
I must note too that I ate some "novel" food that mom brought over. It tasted so good and I was in better spirits thinking I was getting all better. I sat at the piano without pain. My friends dropped by for a visit. I indulged a root beer.
I was feeling better. It was a "better" that had me feeling stunned and happy. I want that again.
Now. If not now... Tomorrow?
Hello universe. Do you hear me? I loved that feeling...of feeling happy in my skin.
Two steps forward, one step back.
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
I don't have the patience to suffer a year let alone several years of TSW.
Before TSW, I was working towards weaning myself of TS.
My flares always won. What I didn't know was that I had to QUIT using TS completely and not buckle when the tough got going. How did I miss the anti steroid conversation after years of internet surfing for answers? I got distracted by this diet, this supplement, this magic skin application. Life was a just barely manageable roller coaster and I couldn't figure out my triggers. Was I allergic to the weather, something I ate?
My skin went through an intense first month of TSW. Every week, I felt like I had a new misery to add to my list of angry reactions my skin was having. Sometimes ice relieved me and other times hot compress. By the end of one month, Benadryl and Ibuprofen stopped helping me feel better. And true to TSW bloggers' own experiences, my monthly hormones promised a nightmare. My skinned cleared up right after. Down was my first TSW month and I enjoyed a calm complexion week at comic con.
That was the one week I missed a Bax treatment. I tried to schedule one immediately returning from my trip and found my chiropractor had gone on vacation. Noooooo!!!!!! My skin suffered, the pain escalated and I was up to three showers a day to calm the pain. I was put on antibiotics after I made a strong argument against taking steroids and was happy to not be put on prednisone. Been there. Done that.
After a week, I completed my script of antibiotics and started to worry. That time of the month was to return. After a couple of Bax treatments, I felt a bit more stable but had a sense of dread. My skin was starting to turn red and angry again. It was a slower simmer to angry this time though. I had adopted the NO MOISTURiZER stance that I had read on several blogs. I was soaking in Epsom salts and letting my skin dry out purposely. The pain was less but still zappy. I was also using natural pain / anti inflammatory medicinal options that enabled me to reduce taking ibuprofen and Benadryl.
Honestly, I now can't remember when I last took an ibuprofen. I still take Benadryl and melatonin though. Sleep is critical because that is when your body goes on full throttle mending mode.
I've also stopped carrying ice packs wherever I go. My skin has cleared up significantly and I'm at a calm that has me blinking. Is this real? I'm not wearing makeup but I wore a pretty dress yesterday and didn't feel compelled to hide under a rock. Something is different.
More thoughts at the next post.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
I've run out of benadrly. I've run out of bananas. And I'm hoping tomorrow will be a good day for me to run errands. Today, I woke up to dry, blotchy red skin that was having a paper cut party. It's a weird and miserable experience that calmed down after a shower and a few ice packs.
I'm doing the NO moisturizer regime. After I shower, I put nothing on to 'seal the moisture'. No emollients, lotions, etcetera after I pat myself dry. After reading several TSW blogs, I noticed there was great debate over whether to moisturize or not. Moisturizers are seen as crutches that interfere with healing skin learning to be strong. Many believe that suffering a short period of discomfort will open to a smoother roller coaster ride. Skin will still be temperamental but less angry.
After last weekend's struggle to be comfortable enough to sleep an hour soundly, I'm keen to not have a repeater. Pain is stupefying. Sometimes, I feel like I dare not move. Today, I wondered why I couldn't cry. I must be too tired to bother or perhaps a part of me thinks that pain feels even worse if you cry.
You would think that reaching for an ibuprofen and melatonin would be second nature by now. No, and I don't want reaching for medicine to feel normal.
It's 4am. It's day 57 of TSW. My sleep schedule is weirding out. I'm looking forward to beginning a new day. I'm trying out a new supplement whose reviews were impressive. Tomorrow will be a new day to figure out and hack my wellness. Good morning and goodnight.