Saturday, August 30, 2008

SPEECH: The Stillness Of Me


Good evening Madam President, Fellow Toastmasters and Honored Guests.

My name is JNET and I am presenting my first speech:

Seeing me in this dress, you would probably find it hard to believe that I am an introvert. I am someone who romances silence even though I am a musician and teacher. I am someone who appreciates stillness even though I am a dancer.

I'd rather hear about you but I have 10 boxes to fill. My ambition tonight is for you to learn a bit about myself by sharing a particular day in my life that occurred, a particular day of the week in my life and how my life is colored thusly. And to also to share in such a way that connects us despite respective cultures, ages, and experience....

Firstly, a favorite quote by a wise Jesuit priest...

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”

We are NOT human beings have a spiritual experience. WE ARE SPIRITUAL beings HAVING a HUMAN experience...

And what is experience to me? It's an opportunity to wear a costume and be present on stage to play with the human experience.

I think my very first human experience was a very positive one.

My mother says that on the day I was born at a tiny military hospital in the Philippines, not a single baby girl had been borne there for at least a month. I can only imagine the greeting I received then. But I know a genuine hello today really stays with me. Those passing hellos from the hospital in the Philippines, to grade school teachers, college professors, and kind neighbors, now deliver me here to Toastmasters so that I may address you and ask you to wonder about your very first human experience.

Do you care that I've lived in Florida, Virginia, San Diego or Boston? Does it matter to you the things I've done along the way? How do I best give you a sense of who I am within six minutes? And how does an introvert get away with making her first speech in a ball gown anyway?

I think my friends here will agree with me that I am having a lot of fun with this thing called life. In many ways, Life is like a gala. Should I ever lose my shoe at a given moment, I am still the princess.

My family and friends are the jewels that adorn me. The education given me by professors, mentors and directors in my school of life has given me color and sound.

But I don't need this dress to explain the canvas of my life. Instead let me share with you my Sundays. This spiritual being out on a human experience has not been in church as much as she'd like these past several months. Instead, I've been at dance rehearsal at 10am every Sunday morning. My hair put up in a bun, dressed in a t-shirt or tank top with petticoats over yoga pants. My dance group is preparing to perform at the Ford this coming September 13th.

I will not deny that being able to dance in beautiful costumes thrills me. But I also get a thrill out of the arduous rehearsal. For 8 hours, we'll be taught basics to put 40 dancers into choreography about the stage. On a blank canvas of dancers in petticoats, Philipino culture, art, and history is put. We all look the same on Sunday.

We all come from busy lifestyles. We are all tired. We are all excited.

I go home by 6pm. Sometimes I'll go to a salsa dance class. Most times, I need to be home early so that I can broadcast my internet radio show.

"Good evening Los Angeles and beyond, Welcome to More Than a Headshot on blogtalkradio, and this is your host JNET, perpetual negativity slayer, bridge builder and lemonade maker, here with another episode for all you rugged angels out there.... "

Life has not been easy. Life is not easy. I've moved so much that I never kept a childhood friend. My father died while I was in grade school. I am not happy with my pirouettes. I wish I could be more focused in my writing. I wish I didn't know the thrive survive divide. My mom is about to have surgery and the challenge to take care of her between my brothers and myself ...

ahhh... that's the stage getting hot, I suppose.

Some ask in their heads... "what would Jesus do?".. I also ask... "what would Beethoven do" .. What would a perpetual negativity slayer do? How do I make something beautiful out of this?

pursue a mastered life, a masetro's life... compose beauty, passion, and possibility. i know many of you know that still place. that place where a moment to be content, sentimental, or thankful takes a peaceful stretch to heave a happy sigh before getting clobbered over the head a dozen sugar glass bottles.

From the still place of myself... I say hello and pleased to meet you... to meet you and speak to the still place of you.

JNET

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Relaxing Within a New York Minute


I am living the rugged angel life in Los Angeles and it is far from the "relaxed" I'd like to live.

Car stress...

I do love my bug... unfortunately, a mysterious electrical issue has now stumped TWO specialists. My car is only happy in Los Angeles and totally drains out of juice when it travels over 100 miles.... which means visits to my family in San Diego has been accompanied by a good deal of car stress.

I am renting a car tonight instead to head to San Diego.

D's mother unexpectedly passed away and I am off to my 4th funeral within the past 24 months. (5th... if you include the little memorial I had for my beta fish at my rose bush).

I race back up to Los Angeles to return the rental, teach and go to rehearsal...

I am performing at the Ford for their family event series of "edu-tainment" on arts and culture...

I'd like to do a million other things to catch up with myself and despite the hiccups of life over car and annoyances, I find I can relax and enjoy random moments. I am not writing as much as I'd like. I have drafted so many thoughts and left them uncompleted. I am not practicing the piano as I'd like; my fingers are stiff. I am not attending to my yoga practice... my quiet moments are in the car or shower in abbreviated meditations.... but I am enjoying my students, the rigor of my dance rehearsals, Toastmasters, a weekly podcast to host, the dotting of social parties while I ache from my Pilates practice.

If I barely have time to write, I also don't have time to be upset. My quiet times are left to picking up my room ... my less than quiet times is left to E and figuring out salt shaker techniques in balancing relationship with personal pursuits.

E: "Do you want me to disappear for a while?"

JNET: "That is no use. I'm trying to figure out the balance... otherwise the final decision will have to be give up trying to fit you in my life. For now, Life is messy until I can learn to manage my time with you in my life."

Even if E is not the ONE, learning to be happy, successful and having it all is a good lesson. If he is the ONE, hopefully I'll figure this balance out...

All for practicing... happily ever after.

Back to my work :)

JNET