Nightmare

All this talk about dating and relationships has done my head in.

I didn't mind letting the door be a bit more open for the conversaton. I enjoyed conversation about being open to possibility but the other talks that made me feel like a peg on the row of conformity made me feel ill at ease.

Instead of feeling open to a miracle, I feel something else awful.

And so I had a nightmare last night in which a guy wanted to offer me a neck massage while I carried on a casual conversation with friends. Next thing I noticed he was fiddling with my hair and that's when I stopped him from branding his initials into my head. He didn't get to finish and I was furious that he never considered how his actions would affect my life.

I just remember being upset pulling away from him telling him that I can't be seen branded like some animal. I couldn't dance or perform or teach with such an inconsideration placed upon me. And he didn't understand that I was unhappy.

It was awful.

It IS going to take a MIRACLE for me to fall in love.

JNET