Sunday, June 18, 2006

Living in Wonderland

This is how I feel about Life a lot of the time.

My friends may give me endearments that make me feel put on pedestals and though I may have thrown myself out of a plane and would do it again seeming courageous....

I am afraid of heights and terrified of going to new places sometimes.

Though I make friends easily, love how beautiful the world of people is diverse and wild like a garden...

I feel incredibly claustrophobic at many times and have a strange wish that I had powers to render myself invisible.

Though I may lead a spontaneous life, finding adventures at strange turns, and wander into new worlds alone..

I prefer the serenity and saneness of quiet days with good friends where little needs to be said and nothing is amiss in standing still.

Though I am told that I am beautiful, held in high regard, seen as graceful and feminine...

I feel awkward, goofy, and geeky... and I have to control myself from laughing out of discomfort when I am given compliments.

Though I enjoy my freedoms, the streams of my thoughts and ideas without interruption...

I wonder what it would be like to fall passionately in love and lose myself in my affections with someone.

Though I am independent, respected and seen as a model of strength and singularity...

I really feel quite vulnerable and fragile. I don't know if I am made of diamonds or glass. And I spend some quiet days questioning my contentment.

I wonder many times...

In my private wonderland.

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