I'm still dancing with rehearsals twice a week. I have my private lessons to work through Debussy's "Suite Bergamasque". I volunteer one evening a week at Landmark Education and I have dinner or lunch with a friend at least 3 times during the week.
And then I am committed to blog at least every other day or so and I am writing a book.
If I'm not teaching, I'm practicing the piano or dancing... If I'm not practicing, I'm writing. If I'm not writing; I'm reading... If I'm not reading... then I must be spending time with a friend.
And I still think that I'm not accomplishing enough. But I don't beat myself up and think that I'm a lazy toad... I understand that I'm in a different stage of my life's construction.. Life is under construction... God is at work... Fines are doubled if I do any funky freak out stuff... so I'll just drive calmly and enjoy the view.
I haven't seen my crush in a while nor have I bothered to call him. I'm too exhausted and cherish my solitude when I finally am in the company of my self. He's been incredibly busy as well. I think I would freak out if he demanded more time with me. Fortunately, we are on a more organic path and I like the steady and gentle growth of subtle intertwining. The relationship is already an intense experience for what it is.
I'm looking forward to practicing going beyond solo... all in good time.
Tomorrow, I think I'd like to enjoy an afternoon nap and maybe staying in bed with a book and ignoring the phone.... at least for a few hours.
I think I'll make my goal for this month to experience peace and feel relaxed in everything I do... That will be fun... I'll continue with my crazy life as is and put on a new approach and see how life comes out from that.
JNET
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