Peacing Myself

I am back to a practicing the piano routine, as well as a writing / blogging routine. I have a photography shoot coming up in a few weeks and my dance group is in hiatus.

I feel like last year was about painting this huge mural (figuratively). It is now 2009 and I look at the many things I did last year and think... wow... I suppose I was a bit of a mad artist.

My piano chops had some fun for a little bit with a spell of intimate concerts at home with a flutist friend who is also a salsa friend. Those little gatherings at home were accompanied with small dance parties . All that sound and music activity gave way to an energy to put into blogging and podcasting. I went a bit extreme in countering my interrupted podcasting life by doing a show everyday for a week or so.. tapering to three a week until dance rehearsals became demanding and coupled with technical difficulties; a break from podcasting was needed.

Quieter my life became... summer dance rehearsals kicked salsa off my plate... Being tired and physically not up for extra demands other than my yoga and pilates practice ... I even stopped playing the piano. My teaching practice grew... and grew. I have students in a flying pattern to return to a open slot.

My life once had space to think and practice. How did it get so full? What do I think about all of this overwhelming "fullness?" Thank God. What else is there to think? I do want an even fuller life... paint bigger murals (figuratively)... therefore, I am working out the balance.

2008 was a workout... physically, mentally, socially, spiritually, intellectually...

I didn't want to sit still in my free time. I wanted to lie down!

Mom was having her second surgery of the year and the demands were up there... I pressed on as I am compelled to do. I kept up with my photography gigs though - for that project with a friend seemed to be my quietest project.

I rang in the new year ready to embrace solitude again yet was happy to share the day with gentle spirit people.

It's week two. I was in a car accident (minor) last week. My car is dinged but I am not. I am settling myself down.

I am peacing myself. And wishing peace to you.

JNET

Odd, Honest, And Beautiful

Surely there must be others who are living a charmed, odd, beautiful life...

It's my flavor.

Other flavors I notice from friends,

....loves individuality and being outspoken.

....loves being supportive and quiet from the sidelines.

....loves the obstacle of stressful events to manage and hopefully win over..

One can be loud, another quiet... another an adrenaline rush.

What's your flavor?

JNET

I Care For No Opinion

It has been brought to my attention several times that I really ought to watch my thoughts and how I express them.

E: Why don't you ask R for his opinion?

JNET: If R has something important to share with me, I think he would've shared it by now. Perhaps he trusts my judgement.. And if I really cared for his opinion I would've asked by now.

HA: Stay with safe topics and be agreeable. Things will be easier for you, if you take my advice.

JNET: You're the only one that seems to have a conflict with my ideas. I don't think you really understand me.

HA: You are naive and idealistic. I think I speak for several of your friends. I don't want to mention names and its only for your own good. Get in step.

The above is a simple collage of a re-occuring theme. Expressing one's self... even out of compassion and truth doesn't always make perfect landings on everyone....

But what if the majority of the people who know me would've never made the conclusions that a slim minority does.... should I change the way I am so that I can attempt at winning 100% ? Should I have to second guess myself and wonder if I've made the acceptance line after I've met a goal that I am happy enough with?

It is one thing to make special arrangements... like making sure your vegetarian friends are happy guests by preparing something special for them. But in the party of life, I don't think anyone has the right to tell the host how to entertain.

Can a guest tell you what you should serve or how you ought to dress and what you ought to talk about?

How would life go if we lived all on the opinion of the loudest complainer of the crowd? Wouldn't you have to change everything with each different place you encountered?

In the end, it only seems to make sense to be myself. I care for no opinion. I don't mind listening and settling out misunderstandings. But to change myself simply due to an opposing opinion.... I see no sanity in that.

Would you change yourself if I told you...

I don't understand you. Be like me and I'll accept you and so will the rest...

Ahhh... how the "voice of friendship" sometimes speaks....

JNET

PHOTOS: Happy 2009 :)

I danced into 2008 with reckless abandon. By Spring I was ready to return to the comfort of myself and quiet...

I got so quiet that I took a break from writing, salsa dancing, podcasting and playing the piano. Its now 2009 and the most important place to me is the quiet that I find in my solitude.

To begin writing again...

And being myself again...

The borders of jnetsworld have stretched to new horizons. There are not enough words to express who I am now. But perhaps in pictures....

Snapshots of 2008...


My solitude found a family. (above: E, C and M)

My place was no longer only about my music and rehearsals. I danced for pure enjoyment to be with my friends to laugh and play. I am normally not as social as these three have drawn me out and stretched me. These three created the salsa dancer I am today... all great teachers, technique perfectionists, and friends ... who have made permanent marks into my heart and soul.. as well as a permanent home in jnetsworld :)

I learned how to make art with flips of laughter somersaults of silliness. I didn't miss my solitude. I didn't miss writing. The world fell apart in little ways with tiny dramas along the way... like disagreeable roommates... not having enough students. But I had my loyal friends and an energetic front line.

Spring 2008 was a wild garden. Jnetsworld was LIVELY and growing.


Work and play came to a new level. And salsa opened to expanding my love of photography. C was working on a friend's project and together we had good work chemistry. In turn, pulling the volume down on salsa and working me to a balance. I took lots of pictures... and I still didn't miss my solitude. Podcasting went on break... blogging went on break... new connections and roads were made.


My world of notes and words expanded into color. Friendships grew into creative bonds and projects were born. Jnetsworld's art is part of so many other worlds. So many new friends came into my quiet world this past year...



"Facebook ME." Became the hello to people that impressed themselves upon me.

Salsa dancing evolved to an at-home-only-with-friends activity. I danced only at KNL rehearsaI, saving my energy to concentrate on performing at the Ford. I had 6 hours at least of rigorous dancing during the hot summer months. I attempted podcasting but hit upon so many technical difficulties with the computer, phones and headsets.

I was writing and podcasting... but in my head and drafted thoughts collected in my archives... or became canned. The Ford performance was a sold-out success though.


Beyond dancing and photography. I sought to speak beyond my blog... beyond podcasting. I stepped away from my safe internet world and joined Toastmasters. Again, stretching myself away from solitude. I missed practicing the piano. I missed writing. But I was up to new things.


The question came up often....Where is my writing and podcasting? Where is the mathematician? I once blogged to document life. But I got caught up in so many different things and a mulitude of thoughts marched through my head... but I never sat down to really tie them down with my words. And a certain sensibility left me. Where did I leave my words, my reflections?

All on the backburner... Yes, I felt that tinge of "missing" but I was on an adventure that I know will lead me back to home.


In the space of new friends, my royal court of friends who have been with me through the years grew with me Thoughts were sorted through quick text messages. I am still so busy that the best way to reach me is via email or text messaging.

Busy with my work, my projects, my rehearsals, my friends and then of course ... my family.

A family with nieces and nephews... many brand new :) A family of brothers and sisters in law... a family with a mom who had two surgeries and a year of physical therapy. 2008 was intense and beautiful in the family front.


And it made me wonder....

Can I do all the things I love to do and build a kingdom for myself like my brothers??? I stretch my thoughts on salt shakerhood as I flirt with couplehood. I could be happy with work and solitude... and I could be happy in other ways too. I learned to look beyond that world called friendship. Through dance, someone wanted to show me a glimpse of the possibilities in his mind.


Love and life always teaches...one to grow... I am having a good and terrible time figuring out how my dreams will look like in the future...

I know I can always be happy with my world as it is... Full of friends, family, love, fun, adventures in work and play. That I still think of solitude and I think of me.

It is 2009... I am back to writing... and shortly to podcasting....

The mathematician did return .. by the way...after I shared with him the vision I was growing in my world, he thought it was a good time to say hello.. I have a couple of hellos on the go :) My mind is spinning with wonder... I can only hope to write more often to make sense of my world.


What makes sense for my world is the continuing journey. I am still playing with my color, with my music, with my words and with my dance.


2009 is going to be lots of fun...

I love watching life unfold. It's beautiful... isn't it? Happy New Year.

JNET