love is a compass

The world laments hardship. It would be easy to indulge into it with a mere click and resign into its normalcy.

Certain days may happen and feel like demanding brats. But what kind of negativity slayer would I be to allow such days to spoil my world?

This year is a total turnaround from last. From a space of silence, noise that hid within the complex harmony of life exposed itself. Good friends sat with my silence and gave me stories of strength and visions of hope when I couldn’t write. I decided to study flamenco dance so that my love for art and expression can have a voice, rhythm and structure.

How to save a life? Therapy? I chose art. Reading music gave me blurring headaches, I was too broken for words and all color and design lost its click appeal. Dance was it; specifically flamenco. I immersed myself, learning new counts, words, how to hold my arms. I learned choreography to bulerias, tangos, sevillanas, guajiras, fandangos, siguiriyas. Dance pieced me back together along with a handful of dear people.

This year I began playing the piano again and the blurring headache is at bay. I’m studying flamenco at least 5 hours a week. I’m having friends over and feel like making new ones. I’ve returned to my Filipino dance group and we’re rehearsing at least 8 hours a week preparing to perform at the Getty in a couple of weeks….the Skirball and Hollywood Bowl later this summer. My truest friends shined during my darkest year and helped a silent artist find its way.

This negativity slayer learned that no battle is won alone. The sequoia tree does not stand alone. Below the ground level is a constellation of intertwining roots. And due to my roots, I was able to heal in silence, find music again through dance, feel comfortable to perform and find the words to say hello rugged angels. It is possible to love your life and live a life worth living even after the darkest and silent time.

JNET