Thirteen thousand feet
I whip a flip
I'm standing on a cloud
Upside-down
I'm a baby bird
Laughing unheard
One hundred twenty miles fast
Coming-down
Patty cake with the wind
One minute waltz with my sky king
I'm falling royal on top of you world!
Reigning-down
Startling sweet silence
My mind in private whirlwind
Under a silk umbrella, peace, seven minutes
Floating-down
The grass and plane clearing
My family stands cheering
A meadow landing revering
Touch-down
I whip a flip
I'm standing on a cloud
Upside-down
I'm a baby bird
Laughing unheard
One hundred twenty miles fast
Coming-down
Patty cake with the wind
One minute waltz with my sky king
I'm falling royal on top of you world!
Reigning-down
Startling sweet silence
My mind in private whirlwind
Under a silk umbrella, peace, seven minutes
Floating-down
The grass and plane clearing
My family stands cheering
A meadow landing revering
Touch-down
Copyright ©2005 J. R. Hollyday
I like the flow of the dialogue. The images are clear as I read slowiy to hear the beat and the tone. I like the construction as well as the pictures you paint. The patty cake experience is really fun and also romatice as is the waltz with the sky king.
ReplyDeleteImaginative and creative. Keep up the writing
The visuals of placing the mind in the act for the reader are very intense... Even the gracefullness of gliding and landing have this "as" if we were there affect upon this reader.. I think bungie first...
ReplyDeleteThen dive for me..
Thank you for this wonderful descriptive view though... Tops.
Nice effort! You took me back to my younger days were I dared to think that I could fly. Two buddies and I "jumped" for two summers. It has to be, without a doubt, the best natural high in the world! I salute your courage - as well as your writing!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a great experience to have. One to take one's breath away. I think i will try it if i ever get the chance. Your poem is wonderful and fun.
ReplyDeleteBRAVO!Wonderful playful description of parachuting,you exit the plane and seem to defy gravity and because theres no references to pass you feel motionless in a cushion of air even though you plummetlike a meteor at a speed of over a 110+mph. Loved the line-"Patty cake with the wind" and the family awaiting you cheering on the ground.You must be very adventurous jnetsworld,thanks for sharing.--James
ReplyDelete