Romancing LA: The Pursuit of Truth

LOS ANGELES: "Paradise with a lobotomy."

There are no shortages of beautiful neighborhoods to live in, nor beautiful people to look at. But like any other mega-metropolis, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. It sometimes feels like swimming through sea-weed rich water. I sometimes feel weighted down. I sometimes get exhausted by the tides. And I often find strange things float by.

This city is charged by its perpetual sunshine industry, its entertainment industry and all the vanities that follow it. I find comfort in avoiding the traffic, the beach, the clubs, the scenes and can only imagine how taxing it is to keep up with the pace.

There's still a lot of life to live away from certain "hot spots". A mindful Angeleno? Yes, navigating through a grid lock of sycophants, lobotomees, alongside studio execs, the normal folks, the occassional cameo celebrity sighting and struggling artists. Daily living is enough entertainment for me that I've never had need for a television set.

The theme parks stretch beyond Disneyland. For me, they stretch as far as one is willing to take oneself. And there lies the path I walk.

How far can I walk and yet maintain keeping myself together and not get lost in mental and emotional deserts? How do I enjoy the sun without getting burned? How do I swim through seaweed rich water and not get caught up in the chaos?

The answer doesn't seem to lie with designer name shoes, a specific SPF or a really cute surfer to save me...

JNET

Pianissimo

I am slowly collecting myself.

I've never celebrated my birthday for three consecutive weekends. If love and laughter was champagne, then I must say that I am a little bit tipsy and tired. Surrounded by flower arrangements, pretty dresses, heart-touching cards as well as jewelry and makeup, I've enjoyed a royal birthday and am looking for a royal rest over the weekend.

For three weekends straight, I toasted with friends, and celebrated being alive. I've been hugged, loved, and blessed abundantly... and the cards and hellos still come..

Am I dreaming? I sometimes wonder how Life can be so gorgeous. And to think... it only gets better.

On the road to bliss... enjoying the pianissimo of the moment.

JNET

Romancing LA... Single and Loving It?

"The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper."

Eden Phillpotts

Mystic drove down from Santa Barbara to bring flowers. He's part ruffian part puppy. The jury is still out on him but he won brownie points being a comfort to me the other day.

Thoroughly having pushed the envelope these past few weeks, ignoring being tired, being off schedule, my body had began to protest... quietly and finally louder.

"My heart hurts. I may ask you to take me to the emergency room."

I didn't have a better greeting for him. It was the moment I had at hand. Mystic stayed calm and stood watch, bringing me water and listening to me make my funeral plans just in case. Anxiety attacks are not fun. The pain subsided and I fell asleep.

I wasn't planning on having this little scare and poor Mystic was the IT person to watch me. Used to my solitude between parades of friends, I'm accostumed to not having to share moments like this. It was kind of nice though it felt very selfish. I'd hate to make someone wait on me like that regularly. But it was nice to see a balance established during an unsettling evening. When I woke up, Mystic smiled with relief and cheered. He had to go back to work, almost 100 miles away and was glad that we didn't have to go to the hospital.

"You're a fighter, a warrior. You won't die."

Comfort from my ruffian. Is there a prince in there? I don't know. One thing I learned, it's nice to consider letting go of solitude and letting someone be a comfort and blessing... even though it half terrifies them..

It's Shavuot and I am not teaching today. Today, I will celebrate rest and enjoy the beauty of peace. Yes, I'm romancing LA... (the blog radio show of the same name debuts this Saturday) and though single... I definitely feel the love.... from Mystic and many others. What a great birthday month.

JNET

Stravinsky, Zoopsia, and Hula Hoops

Sasha is now Dr. K.

Accompanied by H during his doctoral recital at USC, they played Stravinsky's Pulcinella. Stravinsky's first version which is in five movements. It was personally handed to S's music tutor and is rarely played over.

The evening's programme included a sonata composed by John Corigliano for piano and violin, a sonatina composed by Ellis B. Kohs and Dr. K's doctoral recital finished with Gershwin.

It was nice to enjoy a mid-week escape into music. I lost time or perhaps time lost me. A nonstop pace with out of town friends landed me a stopover at USC to attend to a dear friend's recital. As much as I love S's violin playing, I was hypnotized by H's piano playing. Even her own page turner got lost watching her that H had to turn the page herself at a couple of points. I want my hands to dance on the keys like hers.

Sadly, I had to leave the reception early to welcome my cousin and have dinner after her arrival from Seattle and begin phase two of a crazy week... entertaining new guests at my place. The party continues...

tim hawkinson


After having my ears bathed in music at Dr. K's recital, Friday, I balanced myself out with a trip to the Getty with my cousin and her friend to check out Zoopsia which translates into "visual hallucination of animals" an exhbit by Tim Hawkinson... strange and surreal. If you look very closely at this octopus, you'll see it's "suckers" to be the lips of the artist. Mmmmwuah!!!

My favorite work was his "Uberorgan" a massive construction of balloons and horns... an experience that made me laugh.

Saturday evening was my big birthday celebration... (I already had two smaller parties) and my wish for a hula hoop made for a festive evening. G bought me three! Hula hoops, margaritas and some dance music with close friends made for a perfect evening.

What a week... Stravinsky, Zoopsia, and Hula Hoops

JNET

The Knights Around My Table

"You are a timid little mouse."

Such was a happy birthday greeting yesterday from someone that I had chosen to refuse affections from. I am often bullied in such a manner. I stand my ground and stubbornly hold my own choosing solitude.... even if someone "offers" the world before my feet.

The sentiment didn't suit me... He might as well had said "Happy Birthday, you stupid mouse!" I have a tiny list of such "well wishers."

The world IS before my feet and though I find myself in these surreal moments of discomfort being bullied and baited. It is easy to take on the fight and dry my tears.

There is a saying behind every great man/woman is a great man/woman. I have quite a kingdom of wonderful people that makes for leaving bullies at the gate very VERY easy. It is easy to ignore "promises" of "the good life" when a life is already abundant. And it all began at home with two brothers and a mother who are all very generous in love, encouragement and many countless ways.

My close friends are an extension of what my family taught me. I experience loyalty, respect, generousity and gratitude daily.... and a whole lot of fun. I am surrounded by knights and a royal court.

Contrary to someone's narrow opinion, I am not a timid mouse. Do timid mice celebrate life like a banquet?

JNET

Turnabout

The boo hoo week took an about face Friday.

L and I decided to get all Betsey Johnson'd out. G picked us up to go people watching at The Club Bar in Beverly Hills. We had an amusing night. It was a gorgeous and un-stuffy night and The Club made my list of favorite places to chill.

I am adding two new places for tonight. Senor Fred's and Firefly. I enjoyed another evening out.. this time in my neighborhood. One of my bestfriends, E, flew in today from the other side of the country.

E flew out to support his bestfriend, Joey, who is performing in Dancing With The Stars. And though Joey joined us for dinner, the star of the evening was E. E who was the boy next door, big brother, best friend who pulled me away from my piano and demanded that I get fresh air when he thought I was being a bit too reclusive. Until he moved east a couple of years ago, he was the co-host of every house party I had... who vacuumed and took out the trash and made sure everyone was sober to drive away safely at the end of the evening.,

We became instant friends the day we met and I found that he grew up a block away from my aunt and uncle and knew them very well.

J: "Well then, you have to be very nice to me... or your parents will hear all about it."

I love it when the world turns out so small and connected. About a dozen friends were re-united this Saturday evening. It felt like a family reunion... full of laughter, generousity, love... and a tinge of bittersweetness in knowing we only have a few days together. And of course, we're proud of Joey... though exhausted, made a point to come out and be with friends and contribute to the silliness.

Anyway, thank you Joey for bringing E back to this side of the coast.

joey fatone & kym johnson



jive

The UnHomogenized Human Being

To walk to one's own drumbeat.

I've spoken with some that romanticize it is the the freedom enjoyed by the poor. To live in a self-made house on a plot of land, able to grow one's food, free of big brother, big sister, mom, dad, wfie, husband, kids, a boss.... THE BOSS... the MAN... the GOVERNMENT.

Maybe one can find freedom in a commune? At least some will find company with like-minded kin folk. Is happiness found in the village life?

Many readily scoff that happiness can be found among the wealthy. There are countless anecdotes about the miserable millionaire. I don't think the answer lies within a certain social strata but learning within the different terrains is an educational opportunity that life provides.

So many classrooms... from the shelters to the country clubs... from countries to urban meccas. The beach teaches different lessons than the mountains... The intentional communites, alternative communities, artist colonies, temples and churches...

Boston's Wally's Jazz Club people, Bevery Hill's martini sippers at "The Club" at the Peninsula, Melrose Ave's goth and grunge, Haight-Ashbury, Harvard Square's students, drum circle hippies, the entrepreneurs, scientists, jazz people, rock people, classical people, so many flavors...

Can you keep your drumbeat and enter someone's song... just to visit and create a quiet background beat and see if you can make art? Do you kill your curiousity before questioning your motives for doing so? Do you know why you choose what you choose?

Do you know the signature of your voice and how powerful you really are as a unique, learning, and expanding human being?

Some things to think about while you trek upon your journey... to create your flavor, your sound, your voice.

JNET

The Heat That Gets To Me

Perpetually optimistic and perpetually pruning jnetsworld. I continue growing my world despite disappointment and setbacks.

But sometimes the heat does get to me and so I break out in heat rashes and get nosebleeds. It is never fun to feel compromised. I played into people's agendas this week thinking that I was in a clearing for friendship but later found myself in gallows of contempt.

I won't take it too personally. In being a witness to my friend's pains, I was naive to think that I can offer some comfort and not be overtaken by strong currents. I have a slight sense of malaise from offering myself. If I feel exhausted and ill, I can only imagine the pains they are feeling.

M: "You have tons of positive energy."

J: "I spend a great deal of time alone to generate it."

If I don't want confusion in my life, I clear out confusing situations and people. If I want integrity and stability, I surround myself with people who are committed and calm. Having "tons of positive energy" is not an accident.

And having "static interference" in my "tons of positivity" supply is not weird and unexplainable. The heaviness of friends' woes was laid upon me this past week and life got too hot and uncomfortable.

The happy masks upon the table?

I think by design we were made for joy... and its not smiling masks on the table that one struggles with... rather one struggles with masks of fears... imaginary phantoms of grief, aged stories not worth further humorings.

Thank God nosebleeds are temporary.... as well as fear and grief.

JNET

Not Infinitely Patient

My student that I fired a couple of weeks ago has been ringing up my phone recently but not leaving a message. She is still studying the cello with a colleague of mine and standing on thin ice with her. She will be hard-pressed to find someone within my circles to teach her the piano..

My "student" who was "older and wiser" gave me some insulting and unsolicited advice which showed her the door. I have since found TWO students and we are enjoying a mutually respectful relationship.

A "friend" called upon me this past week to "save" me from the impending doom of this terrible world. I told him that I saw nothing wrong with this world and that I loved it as well as my life. His sentiment was dogmatic. His "saving" was unsolicited and I made a run for it (my front door). The sky was not falling. He was the one falling apart and I was in no mood to save him. He wouldn't want my type of saving anyway... I was the LOST cause... my downfall??? I'm a Christian... and in HIS eyes... LOST. Funny how he showed up in the name of friendship and love and yet in his space it was claustrophobic and I felt not listened to. I also showed him the door.

I was stepped on and over this past week by certain individuals. Despite having a great week full of friends, family and satisfying work, these episodes of drama are flattening. I will be slinging them as far as I can manage to distance them from me. I showed them the door after they passed certain boundaries that demanded that I sacrifice my sense of self and self-respect in order to humor their conversations.

Why the finite amount of patience from me; a teacher and friend? In another conversation, these people would call me their angel. their teacher, their guide. Perhaps the prickly desert life and scarely expressed way of their being makes for a desperate day or week. I am not sure but the heat is doing them in

Los Angeles is not a desert to me. Not everyone is a cactus to me. I'm surrounded by luscious beautiful souls. I've made Los Angeles my paradise. It is true that the heat can create illusions of mirages but still... there is an oasis to be found where one can be sustained with lots of food, drink and company... as well as art, beauty and conversation.

To those that embrace mirages and starve themselves while spitting at the banquets before them, I find it difficult to be patient. To those that criticize my pace, my choices and enjoy telling me what my emotions ought to be, I find it hard to believe that friendship and connection is their intention when they choose to cross very personal lines.

To the door, I happily show them all... so that I may continue with the concert of my life... my song, my art is open to those that enjoy it and appreciate it... not for those that want to re-design Jnetsworld and tell me who I am...

My advice to those ousted out my door? Go and be happy... design YOUR life and let me be happy with mine.

JNET

Romancing LA

Ahh to love Los Angeles... It's a contentious subject to some. It's not that the smog has overtaken me or that I relish joining the parade of cars to drive 10 miles over a course of an hour.

I think the challenge interests me. Los Angeles is my Mt. Everest for creating real human connections of substance despite the plethora of plasticity. Los Angeles is my martial arts stage where I learn to relax into becoming a master within the center of egotistic chaos.

And despite the silicon cloned, tanning salonized, image proselytlized worshippers, I have found some genuine souls with real gold hearts. Romancing Los Angeles has become my adventure, a true desert to wander through, to not be seduced by false paths and trust that I will thrive.

There are some truly beautiful GORGEOUS souls that have a special shine and I'm casting those folks into my life; my world.

Princess N and I are debuting our blogradio show in a few weeks. It is called Romancing LA. It's on life, loving your own personal Mt. Everest through the cold, (smog) (shallowness) and thin air (or ice) of life and making an adventure of it. You don't have to be from Los Angeles to appreciate it.

Wish us luck.

JNET

Going My Way?

"We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives,

other souls."

Anais Nin

Despite feeling dizzy, out-of-sorts, and on the edge of a fever, I decided to venture out to Hollyweird for a late night chat with an old friend; Mystic.

Personally, Hollyweird is not my flavor though the natives were amusing. And, of course, I was interested in seeing Mystic after ousting him from my kingdom a couple of months ago. He requested my audience and my stay-at-home and cosy-up-with-a-book plan wasn't going to work with his restlessness. It was a friendly night. We began the evening at a quiet hookah cafe and had a long, long talk over a badly prepared dirty martini at The Geisha House (chic place... shabby martini)...

JNET: "What do you want or need from me?"

MYSTIC: "What do you mean?"

JNET: "I believe we all have reasons for crossing certain paths and I thought we were complete with knowing one another, having learned as much as we could before we must press on with our respective lives."

MYSTIC: "I don't want to disconnect from you. I want to know you. You're unique."

JNET: "Everyone's unique."

MYSTIC: "Well, I want to keep knowing you and I want you to know me."

It was good to find the old friend I once enjoyed engaging conversation with. I told him about my adventures with Mr. B, my current crushes, and brought him up to speed with my life. And he enthusiastically shared how he had been growing his business. A lot has happened in two months.

In the end, I suppose I honored his request to remain in my kingdom. If there is anything I admire, it is commitment and persistence that is well articulated in word and spirit.

I don't think he fully understood how ill I had been feeling before he called when I asked for something for headaches and fever and something sweet and fizzy to drink....

He brought me Motrin, chocolate and a bottle of champagne. ha :)

Regardless of misunderstandings, I think Mystic means well. Regardless of misunderstandings, Mystic will try to create a space for understanding to grow our friendship.. He'll not stand for being a tourist to my world and wishes to be a friend for life.

JNET

My Three Crushes

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

Aristotle

Aside from my epic crush with the mathematician, I've entertained two minor crushes this past month; one with my dentist and the other with CH who lead the seminar I attended recently. The minor crushes in reality are pie in the sky and are fun to entertain. I get to learn a bit more about myself without taking life too seriously. (Though I seriously would love it if mr. epic crush would be done with school, have time to fall madly in love with me, marry me and be the one I share my applesauce with in my later years.)

Sorry, I digressed. Back to my minor crushes that I am enjoying so that I can study my own patterns of thought. What do all these crushes have in common? Dark hair, fit bodies, read and study voraciously, (oooolala factor) sensitive to details and nuances, compassionate toward people, ambitious and excited in their work and well loved and respected among their friends and colleagues.

I was only a face in the crowd to one. I was simply there as a witness and participant. The other one which my friends are enjoying, my schoolgirlish crush on my dentist, is fun and he is taken. Putting my crushes all together, I find that I am taken in by guys that are fully passionate and engaged in their life work and have created a balance with personal life making them very lovable people.

It's good to understand these formulas... There are lessons in crushes and no one had to get hurt to learn them.

JNET