Not Infinitely Patient

My student that I fired a couple of weeks ago has been ringing up my phone recently but not leaving a message. She is still studying the cello with a colleague of mine and standing on thin ice with her. She will be hard-pressed to find someone within my circles to teach her the piano..

My "student" who was "older and wiser" gave me some insulting and unsolicited advice which showed her the door. I have since found TWO students and we are enjoying a mutually respectful relationship.

A "friend" called upon me this past week to "save" me from the impending doom of this terrible world. I told him that I saw nothing wrong with this world and that I loved it as well as my life. His sentiment was dogmatic. His "saving" was unsolicited and I made a run for it (my front door). The sky was not falling. He was the one falling apart and I was in no mood to save him. He wouldn't want my type of saving anyway... I was the LOST cause... my downfall??? I'm a Christian... and in HIS eyes... LOST. Funny how he showed up in the name of friendship and love and yet in his space it was claustrophobic and I felt not listened to. I also showed him the door.

I was stepped on and over this past week by certain individuals. Despite having a great week full of friends, family and satisfying work, these episodes of drama are flattening. I will be slinging them as far as I can manage to distance them from me. I showed them the door after they passed certain boundaries that demanded that I sacrifice my sense of self and self-respect in order to humor their conversations.

Why the finite amount of patience from me; a teacher and friend? In another conversation, these people would call me their angel. their teacher, their guide. Perhaps the prickly desert life and scarely expressed way of their being makes for a desperate day or week. I am not sure but the heat is doing them in

Los Angeles is not a desert to me. Not everyone is a cactus to me. I'm surrounded by luscious beautiful souls. I've made Los Angeles my paradise. It is true that the heat can create illusions of mirages but still... there is an oasis to be found where one can be sustained with lots of food, drink and company... as well as art, beauty and conversation.

To those that embrace mirages and starve themselves while spitting at the banquets before them, I find it difficult to be patient. To those that criticize my pace, my choices and enjoy telling me what my emotions ought to be, I find it hard to believe that friendship and connection is their intention when they choose to cross very personal lines.

To the door, I happily show them all... so that I may continue with the concert of my life... my song, my art is open to those that enjoy it and appreciate it... not for those that want to re-design Jnetsworld and tell me who I am...

My advice to those ousted out my door? Go and be happy... design YOUR life and let me be happy with mine.

JNET