Happy Halloween 2006

If anyone asked me what I was today for Halloween, I would've told them a STOP sign. I wore a red sweater and dressed very cozy. I have been feeling under the weather and really wished I could stay home and read a book in bed all week.

I decided to disappear the best I could the past week and sit in silence every private moment I could find. And I literally sat with silence, passing all phone calls to voice mail, no piano... instead, I painted. A few walls in my house were screaming tired and ugly (maybe I was projecting myself) and so I went out and bought some "Celadon" for the base and "Athenian Green" to sponge on top of that.

I feel much better.

Tomorrow is a new month and I feel good starting it with a new look as I embark on my second month of "no more roommates." Coming home after my day is my new thrill.

Now if I can only shake my sniffle and the little chill that has me...

I have a dance performance this coming Saturday. One of my best friends from college is getting married and has booked my dance company to perform. I will be presenting a special dance for the nuptials... After Saturday, I'm looking forward to a bit more calm and time to be quiet.

I need to put naps back into my regime... Having a crazy schedule is so much easier to handle when a quiet time break can be figured in. My thinking has been a bit on the wobbly side. ick

JNET

Growing JNETSWORLD - 2 Years Old :)

JNETSWORLD officially turned 2 years old last week:)

What started out from a whim after googling for the definition of BLOG has grown into a journey of heart and soul, writing down thoughts of a solitary soul and finding kin-spirits along the way.

I wrote in secret for a year before telling anyone. And then I put the blog feed through my Friendster, later Tribe... Sometimes I copy a blog entry onto Myspace. And now JNETSWORLD has expanded onto Stumbleupon.

I guess I'm getting UNSHY :)

And I've gained so many friends and have been encouraged by their comments. I wanted to just share a few of my favorite reviews from my stumble community:)

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From APRILMUSE:

Jnetsworld is indeed a special place. I love my visits here because I so enjoy reading this woman's honest and intelligent commentary.

From GRYWLFMGRNS:

Jnet's blog is a wonderful reflection of the beauty within...great blog!

From SYNCOPATE:

I feel uncomfortable reading Jnet's pages sometimes. I feel like a voyeur. She tells us of her experiences with life in an intimate manner. She sheds layers of consciousness as one might shed one's clothes. Her desire: to transcend while staying well grounded(?) I could be wrong about that, though. I don't know. She invites you into her world literally (with a direct invitation) and metaphorically (through her photos, drawings, and prose). We learn that she plays Chopin. I wonder if she plays Liszt's "transcendental" etudes... If you are willing to challenge your "self," visit her page.

From GABRIEL2178:

Another fantastic example of a stumbler with a point of view who knows how to get it across. Fantastic photos and a real insight into a fantastic mind. A must for people looking for real people on the internet and in this stumble world.

From FRENCHTWIST:

Sweet and tangy glimpses into a lovely and intelligent mind.

From DORIANROLF:

Wonderful to find someone so willing to share their insight and originality. Truly intriguing and beautiful pages. Thank you, jnet.

From NAN:

What a delight it was to stop by the pages of jnetsworld!
She has shared some truly wonderful images, some truly marvelous quotes and poems, and to top that all off, she shares with us her thoughts, her rants, and her life. Truly this is a person who when you meet, you just know, would be a friend for life, and an enjoyable one at that.

From NEEON:

crystalline commentary. like breathing mountain aire.

From POWDERMILKMAN:

This blog swims, screams, dances and prods. Sometimes all at the same time. Fun, interesting, lovely and provocative stuff herein. Links to great art sites, NPPA.org and Powdermilkman's colleague David Putney.
I raise my glass of powdermilk in a toast... Cheers!

From YOLA:

I'm thrilled to be a mutual friend of one so brilliantly expressive. As JNET discovers whats important and blogs about it, a glorious fusion of purity, tranquility and integrity shines forth from her most worthy page: the importance of shunning all shallowness in relationships, the things of beauty that cause her to experience bliss, the indispensable time for solitude, in her existence. This stumbler's site is a journal. A "Note To Self", that she's so graciously shares. Call it "Wisdom Nuggets To Go", if you will. It's JNET's World. We are welcomed to it.

From EONWARD:

here is a fully engaged person doing everything she can to live life deeply, fully, truly, and on the cutting edge- of awareness. although she is sensitive she refuses to give in to despair, and seeks her own connection to god in a culture that often seems to offer only the alternatives of religious fundamentalism, secular nihilism, or watered-down new age cliches. she, wisely, is finding and tending to her personal boundaries while exploring and expanding, and is able to notice when she goes far enough off course-side trips are an inevitability, and often beneficial- and navigate back to where she needs to be. i also personally appreciate the fact that she allows music to be a touchstone, and especially appreciate her connection to the kind of music i love. i salute her and would add that, while the type of journey she is taking is often painful, my personal belief is that it is the most rewarding of all journeys, and thank her for sharing some her own personal journey on su.

From BLEEM-FILK:

...lissen, if California ever slides into the Pacific, along with Schwarzenneger... ...as long as this gurl survives, I won't care!!! ...cuz, she's the coolest product there outside of sun-kissed raisins and wine (check it!)

From HROTHGARRR:

I /wish/ she was the girl next door!

From ACECOOL:

This is one interesting and passionate woman

From 9LIVES3DOWN:

What a beautiful person is projected in these pages. Her thoughts combined with the images are the recipe for calm. Her respect for others is humbling.

From SOOPERGRAPE:

Looks, personality, and string theory too! What's not to like? I have updated information from a special agent in L.A.! He was guided by remote control here at SG Central to an intercept with JNET and has submitted the following report: "Thanks for introducing me to the first really cool person I've met since I got to LA!"

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It's still a bit of a strange thrill and I'm very happy that I write in a way that speaks to people. I write to process daily life, choosing the meaning that would help me create and manifest a future that I want. I want to write to capture the beauty of life as well as the beauty of tradegy in a way that the photographers, artists and musicians I admire capture passion within notes, brushstrokes and framed shots.

I write from that place of strength that everyone has inside of them. That little voice that IS on your side that argues with the OTHER voice and is destined by freedom to win. When I feel confused or frustrated, I go to that space and find that creating the habit of healthier and happier thinking makes for a more mindful and peaceful path.

Here's to keeping life real.... without falling into the illusions of fear.

JNET

The Pretense of Poverty

OSTENTATIOUS: characterized by or given to pretentious or conspicuous show in an attempt to impress others

I was taken back by emotional reactions of my student's bar mitzvah. Another piano teacher thought it was "wrong" to subject a child to the pressure of performing. Another person said that it was "embarassing" to spend money on an event when you can feed the hungry. Another person asked if I thought it was an obstentatious endeavor.

Buying designer jeans on credit, leasing a luxury car, collecting stuff that litters and overwhelms personal space IS pretentious. Creating a DEFICIT whether financially, emotionally or spiritually in order to impress others would be embarrarassing.

And I think the wry remarks I heard were really personal projections; sensitive statements made from places of struggle. Listening to their opinions on wealth and money, made me wonder if such a disparity to abundance was fulfilling their future struggles.

Depending on how attached one is to their misery, placing blame on others, saying how life is unfair seems to dictate a very predictable future -- words become investments into bitterness.

Why build the portfolio of your future on your most unhappy opinions?

Their words served like a cloud that dampened their experience of a young person's birthday party. The other piano teacher never met my student but had his opinion. I really wished that he was available to sub for me when I was out of town to learn that extrodinary sweet people live in parts of town that he is "too good" and "down to earth" to meet.

It is a shame if the present cannot be fully experienced because one is distracted by emotions dictated by yesterdays or supersitition... like... people with money are "corrupt" or "out of touch" or "uncaring".. These "superstitions" serve to box one in spiritual and financial boundaries.

Doesn't every soul strive for - freedom, happiness and self-expression... able to laugh, love, dream and create?

I was moved to see my student celebrate his birthday with his friends and family. There was laughter, playfulness, lots of love, creativity and generousity. I understood the little details of the event as personal expressions of family memories. There was meaning behind these little details and it wasn't coming from a place to impress anyone. A lot of it came from a mother's eye for the details of happy moments between her and her children woven into a special day..

My student told me earlier this year that sometimes you never learn about a person after a lot of time and money is spent on a party but for his birthday he wanted to share his hobbies. It was a lot of preparation and of course the expectations he created for himself demanded that he generated himself.

It all came together beautifully and I know he enjoyed the process as well as loved his special night. He understood that the journey to take him to his bar mitzvah matured him to really grasp the day and embrace growing up, owning and enjoying responsibility. At the close of the evening, the family gathered to make a family video (which I was honored to be included in) and when J graciously spoke to thank everyone to be part of his day, it was beautiful to see that he was truly PRESENT to the love he felt blessed with... and all the "fanfare" was part of the fun.

If you had a million ways to say I love you to someone - wouldn't you?

JNET