DANCE: Thanksliving on a Teacup Ride

I attended my dance company's 20th anniversary performance and celebration last night - as an audience member. I hadn't done that since before I joined them several years ago.

I missed the stage but I appreciated loving KNL from the house; to be entralled with the audience and see what I've missed in being a performer.

What did I see as a performer? A world of rehearsals; counting counting counting, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ,8, memorizing choreography before dancing to the sound of music - a world where understanding the director's vision came in fragments and you were simply inspired by their spirit. A world of discipline, where commiting time and body demanded saying nos and not yets to create the focus and energy to manage practice inside and outside of rehearsals. Costumes, make-up, quick changes, entrances, exits; being a part of an ensemble, riding the adrenaline rush, bright lights, applause.

That's the fun part.

To perform taps into passion and trust; its transformational. And it feels tremendous because of the worthy sacrifices you made. Demanding an ego to not flinch when mistakes were made and remain gracious and focused on a vision despite frustrations in working to get things perfect.

What did I see as an audience member? I was able to see the complete story and imagination that expanded beyond music and choreography. I was able to enjoy a story unfold before my eyes weaving the art of light design and multi-media; showing me how beautiful and expansive was the vision that I sensed in spirit but never fully saw with my eyes how the dance pieces were tied together. I was moved to tears and found that I was not the only one caught up. There were so many people riding the waves of emotion of sight and sound with me. A community was created.

As an audience member I saw the captivating big picture that created a world to relate and participate with and not just be a spectator. As a performer I experienced the captivating spirit that transformed me to be beyond myself; I trusted the spirit of a vision.

It was beautiful.

But there is also a back story where I was also performer, audience member AND director and that is the story of why I wasn't dancing at this special performance and why I was sitting alone. This amazing back story I will save for tomorrow.

JNET

Leaving Politics to the Politicians

I voted this past election and found that a good deal of people I asked hadn't even registered to vote. Ever. Several blamed the onslaught of mudslinging adverts for cheesing them off voting and that somehow not voting kept their hands clean.

I was shocked for a little bit. How does one manage to live absolutely trusting that the minority of eligible voters, 41%, showing up to vote will represent a democratic society?

Are we absolutely trusting and confident over our policy makers that we don't need to show up and be "redundant" with our vote? No.

It's worst. And its not voter apathy. If one is truly apathetic about the way society and how policy affects it, then one would be indifferent and have no worries and concerns.

We're learning to complain and not act. Acting helpless while complaining is becoming the new human tribe activity. Meanwhile we have congress representatives fighting on the platform for a mostly silent stay-on-the-couch-and-complain "constituency" who did not bother to vote.

Voting is now below 50%. With people complaining about uncertain futures it boggles me that they don't care for "politics" and yesterday when I chose to share links on the TSA's direction of security, I got grief for being "uptight" for sharing information.

I wasn't coming from a place that was complaining. I thought it would be useful to know what with the holidays coming that you might be randomly selected for the "scanner" which is being discussed as questionable by scientists. I have yet to talk to a radiologist friend about it. But in general, I thought, most people know that x-rays are not good for you. I've had x-rays taken before. Usually the technician LEAVES the room before pushing the button.

They are not good for pregnant women, small children, people who are already fighting cancer and the elderly.

If you choose to opt-out of the scanner which makes Superman perverts out of the TSA security people because it dresses you down and takes an image, then you must subject yourself to a pat down where you will be touched about in search of hidden contraband. You are subject to a 10K fine if you refuse to cooperate.

From the testimonies of those that I came across - it was not a good experience in the name of security. People are being intimidated. Do we want to dismiss the stories and just say it is an urban legend? We are heading towards a society where people will be treated less as constituents and more like cattle.

People are chosen randomly and TSA is not necessarily taking out terrorist looking people from the line. If you are attractive and someone fancies to see you naked, you may be plucked from the line. Such was the case with several girls.

Currently the "naked" images of several passengers are swirling about the internet as people buzz about TSA and how certain officials are making BANK with the scanners. Mind you, these folks have private planes and may not have to go through cancer causing, DNA mutagenic scanners to go on vacation or a business trip. I also doubt that their children have to be pat-down and touched rigorously by a stranger.

For the price of safety, are you willing to give up being treated with respect? Are you willing to accept that frisking grandma is part of getting on with vacation? REALLY? REALLY????

There has to be a better way to create a safe society without dehumanizing people. There has to be a way to respectfully talk to someone and assess if they are dangerous to put on a plane without the scanner, pat-down, strip searches drama. Are we trying really hard to not talk and relate?

Civilization has built beautiful great cities, inspired great art and shown that people can shine with creativity. Are we tapped out?

So now I suppose to be part of the "normal majority" would be to subject ourselves to whatever we are told is for our own good and be dependent, unthinking breathing, compliant units that like to say are human...

Nevermind that you have a voice, a conscious mind and a sense that things are not quite right. You have better things to do anyway than worry about policy makers and how their decisions affect your life. This TSA buzz will be so yesterday after a few football games anyway. Right?

Maybe you didn't make your vote count. You can still make your voice count, get a tiny bit enlightened about the state of affairs and tell a friend.

Have a great holiday season. Treat people with respect and expect the same. Maybe that could be a beginning direction to take toward national security?

JNET

Jnetsworld Turns SIX

jnetsworld turns six

Welcome to the party. Jnetsworld is happy and thriving at six years old. What makes for a happy six year old?

Climbing trees, cracking eggs into the bowl, the tooth fairy and the continuation of the fun-a-rama.

Climbing trees - jnetsworld stills grows in blogspot. If you want to read the rougher draft of things, this is where I allow my rough side to exist. My blogspot gets imported onto tumblr and my wordpress polishings get copied to stumbleupon.

Cracking eggs into the bowl - jnetsworld gets adventurous and sometimes podcasts. What to title a show about arts and the conundrum fun of being a human being and negativity slayer? More Than a Headshot. Public speaking practice on an internet radio show pressed me to join Toastmasters International. Where I didn't waste any time and set off to write and perform as many speeches as possible and compete at contests.

The tooth fairy - bonuses from losing baby teeth. I lost some teeth when I got duped by a false friend's project that I will simply refer as Clandestine Wax Cutie. Despite the drama, I appreciated being able to play with my passion for photography which prompted me to initiate hellos to photographer whose work inspired me. I introduced myself as well as was introduced to photographers whom I respect and have been very kind and helpful toward me. Lesson: a "lost" may simply be getting rid of "baby teeth" - allow what is strong to grow into the space - and celebrate the gift under your pillow when you finally wake up.

Continuation of the fun-a-rama - Life is still fun and interesting with many worthy points to write about. I owe much to the good people that help generate my world through their love, their coaching, their encouragements and their many ways of being that challenge and inspire me.

I've stretched beyond being unshy. I've grown my voice and mark its signature. And I feel that I have become more focused as I had forgiven momentary lapses quickly and got on with the creative game of Life.

In celebrating another birthday, here are a few of my favorite reviews and comments.

*********************************************************

PAULFRANK: "I think I am in love."

DESTINYSFATE: "Different in each & every way possible yet so much in which she shares....I'm in awe of how I can honestly concur & relate to the 100th degree. Unique virtual boutique of expressions and suggestions"

JAMES: "Jnet, I love the way you write…such beauty."

LITBITOFSONSHINE: "I loved her creative writing on her stumbleupon and her wordpress. She rocks and rolls and has such a open and sharing and caring understanding soul; one I even marked to read again as I will also visit her pages. Its nice to learn about families from her point of view as well as so many other mind expanding things - just wowzers."

DAVE: "I loved your “loving like an athlete.” Keep up your good writing…."

ALAN: "You inspired me to change my blogs look as well, alas, my change was not as stunningly successful as yours. This is to be expected though, since your talent shines through everything you do here. My compliments!"

DESTINY: "Love your world and thanks to you, I can now define myself in all the diversity and unique(ness) that I possess as a person…as a woman. Just saying Hello and wanted to share that..nothing more. I enjoy the substance of your blogs."

RICHARD: "My beautiful and talented friend. Again, I must tell you how well you write, but of much more importance than that, how very proud I am to “know” someone like you. You have such fine judgment, your values are impeccable and you seem dedicated to your art. As you know, choosing a life of creativity is not without its pitfalls. However, you do not need my advice and will find your way. You know I wish you well, Richard."

****************************************

Six years old! Amazing.

And it really touches me that some of my readers have been part of this world of mine for several years and that we can call one another friend. In writing I have found kin spirits and fellow rugged angels. I know the world is a good place and that there are many others who also enjoy a beautiful life of good friends and family where a new face can find a welcome space where people are celebrating the blessing of living and thriving despite any circumstance.

The world is full of strong, loving, powerful and kind people. Thank you for being part of the party in turning six.

JNET

Leave a Comment

Dancing to Distill JNET

I can make myself disappear.

Wouldn't you like to know how to make yourself disappear to a point where you can't see your arms, your legs, your body as you do in daily life and see a new vision that you almost didn't recognize yourself?

A creative vision that has been inspired and is inspiring... a vision that you didn't know could be so beautiful. You? Beautiful? Yes. Beautiful in such a way that you forget your awkwardness and that self-critical voice that paralyzes you in private moments.

By dancing?

Why not?

I'm speaking specifically about social, community, and cultural dance. Since I'm not a club girl, I cannot speak from that groovy perspective.

But I know what its like to learn cultural dances and what it is like when a certain song comes on to see your grandma and others younger and older show just how connected you are because of a dance and a song.

And I know what its like to learn different types of social dances and find that you can have a laugh with a Russian, an Italian, and a crowd that makes the UN look uptight simply by loving tango, waltz, or flamenco.

Through dance a world fills me and I find I am never a stranger even though I may walk through unfamiliar doors for the first time. And I meet teachers and directors and choreographers that will look at people with so much possibility that there is no room for awkwardness to slow down the moment.

You can disappear too. And see yourself made beautiful by the vision of an art, discipline, and practice.

You won't recognize yourself. You will love it.

JNET

Reframing the Sheltered Life

reframing the sheltered life

“A sheltered life can be a daring life as well.
For all serious daring starts from within.”

Eudora Welty

The world is a very strange place once your fly the nest. It can only be hoped that you have learned enough to enjoy that solo walk in the rain.

I enjoyed a relatively nice flight.... my mom, my bestfriends' moms, my friends and relatives were all power upping in the prayer circles sending good vibes to me. I got cards in the mail, care packages, and words of encouragement when I decided to break loose and figure out how to become a grown up 3000 miles away.

I add also that my mom did not agree with my chosen adventure to move to Boston when I had a perfectly nice set-up in San Diego; family, good people, and mentors.

Nonetheless, I got on the plane - minus a hug from my mom.

I knew moving would upset her. I had even refrained from letting her know I got accepted to music school til after I had secured an apartment in Boston.

Nonetheless, having so much encouragement and support fostered a sense of confidence and adventure. I loved the care packages with familiar foods from home. I mailed mom leaves from the east coast autumn as well as a copy of my budget and to share with her how I was managing.

The guy I was dating was not enthusiastic of my moving either. He felt that putting JNET in the city was like putting a baby kitten out in the wild. He even wrote me a "protective" letter in his Christmas card which I underlined and circled with red marker and posted back to him asking him where the love was in his card - telling him that I thought he didn't really mean to write the things he did.

A life growing up at church in a world where R rated movies were not allowed, where saying words likes "stupid" or "dummy" was not acceptable, where grades were discussed and jobs were not allowed (volunteer work acceptable) and most activities were chaperoned by a brother, a grandmother or a nun - qualified my "sheltered life" at one level.

And it is this first level that is easily criticized by peers growing up with different rules where swearing is normal, sardonic conversation is considered clever and people of authority are looked upon with disdain and distrust. I have spent more time and energy in class and rehearsal than hanging out in malls and parties put together. I don't think my social skills were being stunted by missing out on the certain social rituals.

XYZ: "Don't you think that you are missing out in certain experiences?" A classmate once asked when she noticed that I wasn't doing the dating drama rollercoaster.

JNET: "Hardly, I don't miss much when I'm having too much fun with the things I'm doing. I'm performing and travelling. I like rehearsals. I like the people I meet."

My "sheltered life" taught me how to be professional, on time and en pointe before I left high school due to time spent with mentors. I learned how to prepare and state my case before authority types. I respected them and wanted to do well.

I had to learn how to articulate and communicate well to gain new ground and privileges that would take jnetsworld from mom's nest to become my own invention.

I had to learn how to make a stand for myself intelligently and respectfully without emotional fireworks. I was allowed to share my mind. I was allowed my opinions. I was listened to and I was always comforted.

Now that I am grown up, I see many of my students are growing up in similar "sheltered" environments. I think it is a good thing. I see that these young people adore their families. I see adults sensitive to them but not overly indulgent.

JNET is STILL growing up in a sheltered environment.

I feel shielded from the elements (negative people and their drama).

Because I grew up choosing people that make sense by the standard from which I came. And the standard that I got from the "sheltered life" is living life full out, knowing you are not alone (people are a phone call, text, email away), that you have spiritual and emotional support encouraging you to be your best, your kindest, conscientious contributing self.

And the kind people that raised and protected you along the way want you to have all the opportunities possible to you, a better world, a big world that has hope and compassion that is worth exploring and making a mark in.

So that when you see unkindness you want and are moved to make a stand, so that when you see people made disposable or marginalized, it hurts poignantly and you see how many are made numb by having not been shielded as you have in growing up. And you see how blind sighted fear and hate is and it GRIEVES your heart because that is THE response to have when you see compassion and love missing.

I still have friends and family sending the good vibes and care packages nowadays are prepared dinners to take home from a students family if I cannot join them at the table or fresh baked cookies and I still get cards and letters and texts and emails of encouragement.

The sheltered life does not end when you step off the nest. It is a way that caring evolves and makes a life of its own. It forgives missing hugs. It makes space to draw out the better out of people.

My mom is my biggest fan and loves her strange bird a lot. And the boyfriend that wrote that card, flew in from San Francisco while I was visiting during break and apologized. He is one of my dearest friends to this day and he will most likely during his family visit to San Diego from San Francisco make time to have a bevvy and laugh.

There is a sentiment that those that live sheltered lives grow up insular and are either dangerous or very vulnerable once that leave the nest. I decided that the "sheltered life" needed some reframing and dimension explained.

Sheltered is NOT living the perpetual kiddie gated life. Let's try another word; shielded, growing up with a sense that someone is there to listen and encourage, to catch you, protect you, stand for you and raise hell on your behalf should the occasion arise.

When people feel loved and valued, conversations about meeting and overcoming challenges are normal table topics, drama is a hiccup to iron out and there is an openness that buffers people from allowing egos to define situations.

I am grateful for those that have been a shield to me. Those guiding people that made sure I learned kindness because the world needs mindful and thoughtful people. I am grateful for the curfews and going out with body guards teaching me about respect and boundaries. I am grateful for the amount of patience it took to grow me (from others and from myself).

To grow sheltered is to grow strong. And a sheltered life can be daring, for all serious daring begins within.

May you enjoy a sheltered life; shielded by the love of dear people. And may you always be daring. You have the love of so many people rooting on your behalf.

JNET

Leave a Comment

The High Road of Silence Comes to An End

the high road of silence comes to an end

How do you make peace with someone that you feel has not only hurt you but has also exploited you?

There are those who insist that the higher road is to choose silence. But is it truly the case that peace is held at bay by time and that healing comes thereafter with connectedness and understanding?

I do believe silence is powerful. Silence soothes heated times. It prevents careless words of haste to be burned into memories. It also gives space for words or acts of reconciliation to make a spontaneous appearance.

Earlier this year, it was disheartening to realize that the basis of a friendship I had - depended on my silence and unconditional subsidizing. Being forthright in conversation yet trying to be sensitive to my friend's troubled life was met with flattery and promises... think Wimpy from Popeye in terms of fiscal irresponsibility. No amount of "thank yous" and "you are so great" covers when you cannot financially support a friend and you find yourself living in a sinking ship. I saw a friendship reveal itself false. Things got messy (understatement).

I could've walked away from the pretense accepting on my part as well - to pretend with them that things were peachy keen. But how do you stay silent when something unethical or shady is at hand? Life was not feeling like a whimsical cartoon; it was intense, unstable and ambiguous.

There is no surprise then that something like Enron and Maddoff can happen.. when there is a bit of the same shuffle and flair happening it front of your eyes and you can choose to just be shocked and remain silent. Or, get over the shock, see if anything more happens to confirm what you hope is not true and only after that, get upset for real and act.

Act when there are things amiss and you are being "encouraged" to support questionable people who insist on being above reproach.

Act? No way. Too scary. What about the possible drama?

Tough call.

I kept my peace to a point where I didn't even want to see people because I didn't want to mention that my (false)friend and I fell out and that its worst than I thought. Friends don't like to feel like they are in the middle of a divorce unless they have something useful to say or do.

I couldn't just stay quiet after allowing Life to reveal more about the character of the people that needed "writing off." When I saw that they had a blatant disregard and less than professional ethic that I could just silently witness so that they can laugh and carry on, I felt ill.

It just isn't the way I am. I can be patient. But silent before disregard and disrespect and unprofessionalism, I cannot.

I was also colorfully invited with a combination of angry threats and insults...

To silence.

I ask myself... how do you make peace with someone that you feel has not only hurt you but has exploited you? And tell me also, how do you make peace with someone that you thought was a friend and could have served as a mediator of the conflict or remained neutral (fair enough) but chose instead to be antagonistic?

My enthusiasm for a "business meeting" to sort things out were more than less than inspired. Seriously, how do you plan a business meeting with people that thug out and get "all ghetto" on you?

Would you take orders from someone that insists that you be positive in your shutting up? And speaks to you "professionally" by telling you to shut the !@#% up and not bring your "daddy issues" to the table?

Tell me..

Would you acquiesce?

Life is interesting. Interesting has lots of different definitions... and this is the part of interesting that I do not care for.

I did what any intelligent concerned person would do when threatened. I checked in with a couple of trusted friends to double check what I wrote and consulted with a couple of attorneys.

Blame my daddy issues.

I feel much better.

JNET

Leave a Comment

POEM: From Jane Gault - a reprise

poem: from jane gault - a reprise


Inspired by John Gault's Radio Address in Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged." I wrote this several years ago... I bring it forward to encourage a friend... and a reminder to myself that all is not well with the world.

Because how you love life passionately is not in the same spirit as others.

FROM JNET ... ie JANE GAULT....

The last of my words I leave to those heros hidden in the world
Held prisoner within the beauty of a soul unfurled
Of virtue and desperate determination

My friends in spirit, keep watch your border
For lingering enemies await to bring disorder
Hurling hatred upon a path of an honest life

Where roads have been laid down with passionate invention and emotions
To serve hungry nations of voracious appetites and notions
And you are held by means of your endurance

As your generousity extends to bear their sorrow and concerns
Innocent of their sulfurous hearts as their mind burns
A crack on the sidewalk disguishes

Their evil in cries of despair
And you stand unaware
Unable to conceive of their intentions

In giving every benefit of every doubt
You refuse to condemn that which eludes you
Devout to understanding

You stand with your love for life
They chant quiet prayers of strife
As you naively call them friend
They plan your love for life to end

Copyright ©2005 J. R. Hollyday­

Leave a Comment

Pas de Touche

pas de touche­

The Rue de Cascades piece is my voice for now.

The driving bass declares my existence accompanied by a melody that is complex and articulate. On purpose. Tiersen contrasts the phrases using dynamics. There is a loud way to say things and there is a quieter way as well. The spirit of the piece is my voice... full of sound and fury... yet mindful of the control it takes to execute the piece beautifully.

My heart is broken but I refuse to accept the imposed silence. Playing music reminds me that I am alive... that I have a heart that speaks above the dissonance.... that I love and that passion is never silent.
­
JNET

Leave a Comment

Teaching Sensitivity

teaching sensitivity­

My student, B is thirteen and he has finally memorized Albeniz's Capricho Catal¡n. We've been working on it juxtaposed to Satie's Gymnopedie No. 1.

He favors the Satie piece (not memorized yet) for he plays it with a sensitivity that is remarkable. It is such a gentle piece with mild dissonances. He plays it with such intention that the melody floats. He plays it in such a way that shows me that he is especially connected to this piece.

But that sensitivity is not consistent - as if he disconnects from himself a tiny bit during particular measures.

The faster and cheerful Albeniz piece needs more detailed study. It's busier and perhaps being on purpose and intentional is more demanding. But how to listen slowly when things are fast? Such is the dilemma with some. Slower piece are easier to be present with while faster pieces demand a great deal of attention.

He's already listening in such a way that most grown ups have not trained themselves to do. And to grow his sensitivity I teach him to listen to his playing in a new way each week, approaching the piece from a new perspective.

This week we did heart surgery.

JNET: "Did you know that those that study music are the highest admitted group of people to medical school?"

B: "No." His eyes getting bigger with interest. His father is a doctor and his mother is a nurse. Most of my students have parents in the medical field though I also teach many attorney's families as well.

JNET: "A surgeon requires a great deal of sensitivity to operate. His work is very delicate and precise. I would like you to especially go over those chromatic passages as a surgeon. Stretch your ritardandos. Exaggerate for now just to see the range you can stretch your expression. You don't play simply from your mind. Project your music with your body and try leaning in to be more on purpose. Do surgery, a delicate operation that demands even more attention from you."

He immediately took to the operating table and the music was a new creation. I'm looking forward to seeing how my young surgeon will sound next week. Perhaps a week of practice will not only open a new sound from him but also a new world to which he looks at with delicate attention.

Can you also consider looking at the world with delicate attention and listening to how you express yourself? Happy practicing.

JNET

Leave a Comment

Oh Captain, My Captain

oh captain, my captain


A tale of two leaders¦

The opportunity of conflict and how one leads to create a resolution brought some insights to me this past week. I learned that conflict reveals the noble or less than noble character of a leader. Conflict also reveals ones value toward something or someone for one ismotivated to bring peace and stability to that which one loves and values and as quickly as possible.

Would a king sacrifice his queen?

By queen, I am not referring necessarily to a literal person but rather a principle or value; something that you stand by and grow with. And that which you stand by and value defines you as well as your actions.

And Im not talking about some little pet project or a little nursery rhyme song to arrange. Im talking about building a dream; composing a symphony that draws out your heart and soul.

This past week, two leaders in my life revealed why I follow one and why Ive lost feeling any sense of loyalty to another. Ive know both for relatively a similar amount of time. Both are friends ONE of which I devoted a great deal of time and effort towards helping tobuild his project. It was rigorous. I was one of the first people there and the last to leave but I enjoyed every moment of the 15 hour work day. I happily gave up opportunities of work and performance elsewhere.

I thought he, OPOO, was a worthy king and I wouldve at the time helped build anything he requested. I felt like a valued first chair in the orchestra and I took everything my conductor said to heart and wanted to create good work.

A conflict arose in his orchestra and he left it between myself and the other person to sort out our differences during a timely haitus during which he said he had a pile of arrangements to sort through. He mentioned that he was happy with my work and that he was also excited to share something particular to me in the future.

That is fine and fair. The hiatus was a welcome buffer and I was excited to see copies of what he wanted to share. But a resolution between myself and the other chair was never met.

Four months later, the conductor began the new season with the full orchestra minus me.

And that was fine. He was afterall, king and conductor of his project and I respected that and figured that he had to consider for himself about the best blend of sound he needed.

He never contacted me regarding the something he wanted to share with me. More time passed and I saw the works he was creating and saw that I was edited out. He pulled my name, picture and credit from what he was building without checking in with me. He couldve said thank you but that he wanted to continue composing his work without me. He didnt consider that those actions would break my heart and love for what he stood for. The kindness that he once showed me to draw better art of myself cadenced to actions that I did not understand yet felt very acutely.

And I never said a word of complaint. I was gutted. I didnt know what to say.

Seven months passed before I wrote of it.

more here...

10.10.10

10.10.10

Ten is the number for perfection and order.

I am spending this day of perfection and order at home to reflect.

KNL is meeting for dance rehearsal and this is the first time that I have chosen to not perform. I will be attending their 20th anniversary gala performance at the Los Angeles Theatre Center next month though and will enjoy being a friend and fan of their work. I love dance and its demands but didn't have the space for rehearsals. I get my fix for now attending flamenco and the occassional bollywood dance class.

2010's resolution of clarity and focus has called into jnetsworld some rigorous conversation within and with others so that that I may enjoy a clearer path towards the future. (Yes, I still am trying to keep on target with my new year's resolution on this October day. Don't tell me you've chucked yours into the bin!)

Questionable friends have been placed at the end of a long table and my home is truly home to me now and I don't need a roommate to make it fill with life and sound. I must be on the right track because I've been fortunately blessed with opportunities and new students to confidently thrive solo.

Clearing my world of certain people was not easy. Where straight forward conversation did not work - silence worked best. I think I spent the good first quarter of the year just LISTENING to the spin of some people. If you think facebooking takes up unnecessary time and energy, reconsider how keeping company with certain people in REAL TIME is actually worse.

I stopped playing audience to people who compromised the spotlight and had not shared the stage during social settings... who used me in place of hiring a therapist, ... who spoke with pretense and had a string of broken promises and needed people to bail them out of their chronic troubles.

I actually now have time to enjoy my true friendships and don't feel exhausted to enjoy time with my family.

DAAYYYYUUUMMM, you ejected people from jnetsworld???!!!

Yes.. As nicely as possible to define personal boundaries and within social protocol. For those that could care less about JNET borders, were ignorant or thought themselves above social niceties and were curious how far they can push for money, energy, and time; things were messy.

I wish I did it sooner. I would have not suffered the illnesses I had. I would have saved money and a lot of stress and tears. My two years work with Clandestine Wax Cutie finally defined to me what it meant to be "thrown under the bus." I had never heard the term before knowing them.

I was naive and now I am all the wiser.

The world is still full of awesome, good, kind, generous, fun people.

It's 10.10.10 and I am in love and I am loved. Why? Because I took on loving myself by sticking to my resolution for clarity and focus. I didn't want to second guess my life in 2010.

Do you want to get more clarity and focus for your life? You write the story. Yet, would you let someone else's voice write into your book indiscriminately with their doodlings and expressions of crayon? Something to think about on this perfect ten of a day.

JNET

Leave a Comment

Trophies, Tears, and True Love

trophies, tears, and true love



Each day is full of sonatas in major and minor. Some are easy and some are not so easy. I wish I could enjoy a really good passage over slower paces of time.

I won first place at a Toastmasters Contest last weekend. I will be competing at the division level in a few weeks. I have to credit my music teaching experience to making me a good evaluator. I was touched that the test speaker whose speech I had to give a 3 minute critique approached me and said he found my evaluation most sincere among my competitors.

His comment made my day.

It was my first competition outside the comfort zone of my club. My competitors were experienced and ultra cool in my book. They were also writers with blog and Facebook fan base numbers that got a WOW out of me. I felt absolutely ill.

Me? I'm JNET. I do lots of things and stumble upon different worlds out of curiousity. My friends make fun of me that I get too busy to even care for a fish.

My one and only fish was a beta which I named ââ,¬oeAmore Paziente (Patient Love). He was great. He was beautiful. And he eventually died. I was busy; travelling, going to rehearsals, doing something.

Back to Toastmasters, competing at an area contest I went in as JNET, who analyzes things in a not so linear, not so package-perfect, not so corporate suit manner. I improvised and made my comments from a way of being that didnt quite follow protocol.

I did not know what the standard way of giving a speech evaluation was. I was contestant number one. Lucky me got to do my evaluation FIRST and then was able to sit down and watch every single contestant. They were great, polished organized and they followed a formula. I was imagining bullet points lining up besides their heads as they spoke.

And I won - which felt very wonkish wonderlandish.

And I find it hilariously funny that not a single one of my competitors got to see me do my evaluation speech.

My evaluation prep was a brain storm of tiny notes I had peppered a piece of paper with. I made note of thoughts that I wanted to share with the speaker; notes about things that he did well that he may not have been aware of and of course stating the obvious good things he did so that he may continue those.

Mentors since have approached me to work on communicating more analytically as opposed to artistically. I am not sure how to improvise from their criticism.

Create bullet points above my head as I speak?

I cannot say that I am even that type of teacher. I just know that my students get what I say and they show me that they understand in the way that they play for me freely, honestly. In a way that makes me listen, hear them, and think ahhh. I knew that was the way you meant to play it.

Do I want another trophy or am I happy enough giving the kind of evaluation that will move a person to come to me and thank me for speaking from my heart? Doesnt that show that its NOT an exact formula of speech structure that wins people and trophies?

Anyway, that trophy is sitting in my living room. Ive been too busy to tell people about the competition. My car had broken down this past week, allergies have attacked me, my schedule is upside down and OH, for a space of a week, I enjoyed the possibility of being cast in a really cool commerical that mightve paid my rent for a year. But the client decided to take their campaign in a new direction and nix the script.

continue :)

That Favorite Piano Teacher... Miss Hart

that favorite piano teacher …. miss hart

­­
I had just started kindergarten... or so the story goes... when I decided to accompany my brother to his piano lesson. He wasn't doing very well and knowing what a pill he can be sometimes, he probably started to act up and be a handfull. He was one of those hyperactive, move like a storm while destroying things clumsily, sort of boys.

Miss Hart must've been very patient and hopeful because she decided to take me on as a student. My brother is the first student that she's ever given up on, Miss Hart told my mom after she could no longer figure out ways to engage him. My brother spent the lesson time in protest.

I don't remember too many details of my piano lessons with Miss Hart. My mom tells me that I did well and that I would share what I was learning. I was five and was busy with learning how to read and write, do math and the zillion other things that take off with going to kindergarten. I simply remember that she was worthy of filing into my good memory bank. I've had many many music teachers since then; various piano coaches, vocal coaches, conducting, music theory, harmony, arranging, yada yada..... I studied a season on violin, on cello, a few on the clarinet and on guitar. I even spent some time toying with a trumpet and an oboe.

I've had many teachers. And it is Miss Hart who helped start the fire to blaze my love affair and life with music.

I don't know what's become of Miss Hart. I moved after a couple of years with her. But I do think of her and wonder if she remembers me. She'll probably remember my brother.­

I grew up and became a piano teacher. I meet many people with piano teacher stories. All of them regret not continuing. Some have stories how they were a terror to their teachers while others recall a nice old lady or a college grad that taught them for a spell.

I am hoping to make the nice memory file with my students as Miss Hart had with me.... and perhaps ignite something that will be part of their life.

Do you have a piano teacher story?

­JNET­

Leave a Comment

L’enfer C’est Les Autres

l’enfer c’est les autres

I received a beautiful email last night.

And I wondered what life lived in each word. So poignant, so eloquent, so moving. It breathed and sighed and went to my very core. I wanted to kiss it. I was dissolved.

It was perfect.

All that beauty and eloquence moving me was then suddenly attacked by a runaway train led by sycophants. It took those glorious words, threw them aside and mocked me with laughter.

Those on the train laughed and told me that I was naively gullible and that I deserved the pain I felt. They said the world had lots of dark surprises and that I needed to be angry and feisty. They said that I was too sweet and I will not survive if I continued being sweet for sweet things are meant to be devoured.

L'enfer c'est les autres.

I gave them only silence... When there was nothing left for them to laugh at, they rode away. Waving....

"Bye, sis!"

"You're great. Thank you."

"That was a lot of fun. See ya."

And I was reminded once again... that moving forward happens many times firstly by getting up from the dust. Sometimes, there is no cheering crowd to support and light the way.

Sometimes, the beginning begins from a lonely silence and you are the only voice.... and your throat is full of dirt and dust. And everything is up to you to declare that you are alive.

JNET

Leave a Comment

Fallen Figments

fallen figments



It was like experiencing a sunset that was so moving that it carved a memory into that place where I stored my favorite memories.

You have those days?

I have my favorites. Those special ones that confirmed the magic of life, like the time when the rain began to fall during a steamy summer afternoon while walking through the park with an ice cream cone in my hand. I remember how the sky crackled with electricity and the thunder rumbled from a distance...

Or an autumn at a New England lake collecting leaves of brilliant shades of red, orange and yellow. They looked so perfect; so beautiful that I filled a large envelop with them and mailed them to my mother.

Or that delicate morning walk that I breathed in the crisp winter air, marveling at the line of bare beautiful magnolia trees covered with a clear crystalline layer of ice. How I loved listening to the sound of snow under my feet and feel a snowflake land on my cheek.

Or the evening when the moon was so big and bright that I hiked a mile without a flashlight.

It's nice to have these memories live inside of me. I experienced all these magical moments (with the exception of the hike) alone.

It is rare that I have a moment like this with someone else. I usually find myself annoyed because the moment would be stolen away from the moon, the snowflakes or crunching of autumn leaves by the other person wanting to fill the silence with a joke, an impatient sigh of boredom or some word to disregard being present to the possibility of being filled with awe.

So imagine what it must have been like to actually feel awe and magic when its not the sunset, the moon or the trees that filled me with poetry but rather a person. And then imagine that poem getting filtered so that the ink to say the words was diluted that you couldn't put the words outside of you.

And that is what had become of a sunset that now fits between leaves and snowflakes where I have my favorite memories.

JNET

Leave a Comment

Complex Meet Complicated

complex meet complicated


SEMANTICS: the language used to achieve a desired effect through the use of words with novel or dual meanings.

I don't mind a good brain workout toward winning a game, mastering a piano piece, or even taking on the extra mindfulness of handling a delicate conversation. To me something complex or intricate is also interesting and elegant and I would experience complex as I would a rollercoaster.

You ought to know that I ADORE rollercoasters... a masterful engineering of steel and hydraulics that uses physics for a calculated thrill equation. Complex is a good ride... sometimes fast with quick corners and sometimes climbing, building anticipation. Complex can be enjoyed on a sunny day and a serious aficionado will ride out on a rainy day.

COMPLEX: (biochemistry) an entity composed of molecules in which the constituents maintain much of their chemical identity

Complex creates an emotion in me that is of awe and curiosity. Complex has a certain fascinating slant; several. Edgey and complexy sexy....

Complex meet Complicated....

Complicated is not sexy or edgey at all. It snarls at Complex and promises a good fight. Complicated is not fun to sit through. Lacking the charisma and fascinating lure of Complexity, Complicated gains attentions by complaints and emotional hijackings that create a thrill of a different and darker sort.

I bring these two words up because so many people choose "complicated." I tend to choose complex. What you choose colors how you walk the path.

I decided to un-choose "complicated" people recently. The ride guaranteed frustration, disappointment and unsettling predictability. Complicated people also seem to have an unearned sense of entitlement over other people's time and patience as well as a lack of graciousness, autonomy and initiative to create balance.

One such person had a knack for needing to spew the miseries of her life on me ad nauseum. I found myself feeling ill - interrupted several times during a clockwork of desperation from her needing an audience. Just trying to be a sympathetic ear was challenging...

In the end, I find that a life liberally labeled as complicated is code for "don't question my life" just let me dump it on you.

Not to expect Life to be a ride on the teacups.... I just like it challenging enough to make me think and be creative... look forward to intricacies and enjoy fast corners.

Which would you choose? I have a gorgeous Bach piece that you may enjoy getting your hands on. One is complex. The other is complicated.

How do you color your world with your words?

Jnetsworld... clearing away complication.

JNET

Leave a Comment

SPEECH (lightly roasting): Resident Alien - The Great Gordini

It's been a dream of mine to travel into outer space and explore the stars and galaxies.... and perhaps meet intelligent life... out there. Mind you that alien may be three feet tall with wide almond shaped eyes and pale clammy looking skin.

Fortunately, we have an alien in our midst and the Men In Black have just okay'd his visa for the next millenium. Can we please give a big hand to Mr. Gordon Limtiaco, Mr. Out of This World Himself.

Don't tell me that you didn't notice that Gordon here was DIFFERENT. He's been begging for you to know within every speech he gives. They've all been confessionals.

Let's look at his family. They look normal. But hadn't you considered the strangeness of how many times they've moved? Â It's suspicious.

Born in Cincinnati.

Go to the internet tonight, Cincinnati has been a hot spot of UFO sightings since the 1800's.

Moved to Shreveport, LA at age 5.

Why Gordon? You are just starting school.

Moved to Baton Rouge, LA at age 6.

What the heck, Gordon? You scared the kids in kindergarten?

Moved to Boise, Idaho at age 7.

How many families up and move each year? Â You make the Cullen vampire family look tame. Â I suspect that you ate raw meat or licked a classmate and freaked someone out.

Yes... Gordon eats raw meat. But, be assured he's not a killer though has a diverse appetite that would gross out a vulture. Â The man's favorite publication is Guideposts a religious magazine which he's been devouring for years and he is an atheist.

If your family was atheist, reading Guideposts would be grounds for kicking you out of the house. Â Gordon, you are an embarrassment to atheists around the world.

Stand close enough to Gordon and he may take a sniff at you and maybe take a lick and growl like a puppy. But he won't break the skin. Â Just stay still... sort of like playing dead.

Gordon is harmless though. Â HARMLESS. Â How can you be afraid of this man when he has a formidable movie collection of chick flicks would make a gay man blush?

Moved to Anchorage, AK at 11.

That is far. Your family is on the lamb? You safely stay there for a while. Your brother says that you went everywhere wearing two back packs. Two. One on front and the other on the back filled to full capacity. Â With what Gordon?

Moved to Los Angeles at 18.

This is a good place to be  strange. The actors provide a good smoke screen.

Gordon's first car was a black Cadi hearse... The Men in Black agents drive black Cadis. Gordon's always wanted to be a special agent. Â Look at him right now, he's wearing a black suit keeping the dream alive. Â Black is one of his favorite colors but he always get distracted that he disqualifies himself from being an agent due to a particular idiosyncrasy...

Gordon has a distracting fascination with numbers and it makes him measure everything. He can eyeball your height and weight. Anyone over 6 foot 3 gets a wow factor and he wants to take a picture like pulling Goofy in Disneyland for a photo op. This is not a quality to maintain intergalactic security.

Gordon's impeccable eye for measuring makes him a top notch funeral director. Where the saleperson at the dress boutique can look at you and know your size or the shoe person can look at your feet and bring out the right fit, Gordon looks at you and pictures you in the perfect casket.

Why couldn't you be a wedding planner? Our talks on diamonds and jewelry are about turning my carbon matter into a gem. It's true.. it can be done. Gordon's given me brochures.

Gordon likes to say that he'll appear normal as long as he doesn't open his mouth.  It took a while to get to know him.  He's a bit private but eventually he was sharing some of his chick flicks with me and I got to know a bit of his thoughts and found them disturbing.

Gordon is obsessed over doughnuts and sweets. Â Obsessed. Â You think eating raw ground meat is strange? Â Sundays, Gordon like to treat himself to a meal out in the town. Â Several meals. Â In one seating, he'll eat enough to feed a football team. Â Gosh, I wish I took pictures because I know it sounds unbelievable. Â And he keeps 20 pints of ice cream in his freezer. Â 20 pints! Â Gordon lives ALONE. Â And he prefers to eat it when it is melted into an ice cream soup.

I've known Gordon for several years now. This is the most normal I've ever known Gordon to be. Frankly, I'm surprised that I've known him this long what with his licking and sniffing habits. But he's been working on being normal and hasn't offended any of my friends in quite a while. Toastmasters has really helped him shine. He even has a girlfriend now. I cannot even imagine.... I am afraid to. She seduced him with a song reciting the Fibonacci series.

Gordon's given excellent speeches and you'll have to listen closer next time just don't stand too close. Being a toastmaster has given him new life; a normal one... one where he can enjoy ironically... being a bit more human.

JNET

Leave a Comment

Loving Like An Athelete

loving like an athelete


I am riding the train back to Los Angeles right now. I arrive at midnight and have a slight idea of my arrangements in getting home from Union Station. With all my family in San Diego and only myself in LA, my life is made smoother by the kindness of good friends that respond to text messages and FB status updates.

Maybe it's living on the edge to you - to travel and not know what will happen at the midnight hour. I like to call it traveling on love and faith.

I am still on an adrenaline ride over an intense and full family weekend. There is much anticipation over babies being born within the next several weeks. There are tensions over first days of school and grandparents shuffling schedules to manage caretaking while parents juggle work schedules¦.

And this is only the pre-game.

Creating hoped for smooth transitions require many conversations that will go through tensions, confusions, clarifications, and encouragements challenging the family dynamic in being committed to one another. There is a trading of liaison roles and sometimes a goal feels like a relay race as we pass the batons. every finish line is in the name of "team family." The challenge is to love like an athelete.

Discomfort therefore is looked upon as something to press pass. Think of it as standing at the diving board aware that waiting will not make the water any warmer. At some point, you will have to work the nerve to get in the water.

Not everyone is equally skilled in communication and that is forgivable. Everyone at some point was clumsy nor had built enough patience muscle to have the strength to understand nor the reflex to act gracefully.

Not everyone is good. We have three year olds we must admonish to treat each other kinder. Saying sorry is painful through filters of stubborness. Sometimes a grown up needs a refresher talk.

Great plays, great landings, and races will be won, many will not be praised enough because life moves quickly meeting new challenges. Admiration and being appreciated will be one of those things to enjoy and accept without needing egos stroked. The thrill of experiencing new levels in the "family game" is enough.

What thrill can there possibly be in "family"? I'll tell you straight up that you've been sitting on the bench and not felt that thrill that trumps beating records, besting at a board or video game, or mastering a really fun technical piece on a musical instrument if you haven't overcome making a mistake turn into a lesson, creating a reconciliation that is creative and moving that it grows you and inspires others, or figuring out how to diffuse a bomb of conflict by cutting the correct wire in the nick of time to save the day.

Are you game?

JNET

Leave a Comment

Quick Listener

I've found myself needing to play defense several times this week that I welcomed beginning a weekend of not speaking to anyone. Court is adjourned!

Three well meaning friends had their own personal visions on how I may have my happiness look a particular way. Their criticisms came from that same good place that inspires moms to nag at their children for their own good.

Yes, yes yes...I feel the love and I am getting annoyed.

My mom doesn't draw out grueling upset conversation though. She has always been quick to listen so that I may put my case forward in a strong rational voice.

Do you know what it feels like to have someone be quick in listening to you? It gives you a sense of moving together toward understanding and being understood. It gives you the space to say what makes you happy even though the other person may have other suggestions.

And it gives you a platform to make a stand for yourself before getting emotionally wound up.... arrrgghh headache headache

My friends are used to a different tempo of communicating perhaps. We got out of sync that I had to go over the same measure of conversation over and over til I was on the verge of tears. Then and only then in a space of emotional restraint was I listened to and finally understood.

If I don't have exhausting emotional conversation like this with my family, why must I be pressed to the verge of tears by a friend? Why can't they trust my choices as freely?

It's because they still don't know me like my family does and therefore they need explanations. They don't quite understand my happiness all the time. They project their own ways, boy ways, not jnet ways upon me.

That frustration creates separation a temporary but annoying one.

But I do love them; my friends. I know they are coming from a loving and protective spirit. And I know they hold me in good regard even while we are out of sync and misunderstanding gets a dance in.

What feels like home to me? That place where listening is quick and feels like love. I know what that feels like and its really nice.

Are you a quick listener?

JNET

Leave a Comment

Mindshare LA

mindshare la

I joined 400+ mindshare rocksharians at Exchange LA, the club-ified former Los Angeles Stock Exchange Building last night.

It was my first time. After several months of having scheduling conflicts to attend this once a month event that shatters the typical stereotype of LA cool and bumps it up a quantum notch. Very hip, eclectic and mindstretching as you mindshare over cocktails and sweet goodies.

If you are wondering if you ought to go, I say yes yes yes. You will be happy. You'll leave knowing that the world is a better place than you thought.

Register. I didn't and paid at the door which is absolutely fine but believe me, it will make your hellos even easier.

B: "Gee, isn't the event a bit pricey?" a friend asked me last night wanting to know the skinny on Mindshare LA.

JNET: "Not at all. It's a great party smart scene. I thought I have to move back east to party like last night."

The party gathered into the exchange hall and everyone took a seat (cocktail or beer in hand) to listen to several speakers mindshare their ongoing projects. Imagine going to a very very cool lecture hall with a happy buzz.

The "geek" scene included a neuroeconomist who gave a talk on the bonding cuddle chemical, oxytocin, that grabbed everyone's fascination. It's power over how we socialize and how it is manipulated by con people sparked up lively conversation. The questions would've kept flowing but he had to share the stage with other speakers.

Several filmmakers also shared the stage. If you are into independent films and film festivals like myself then you will enjoy hearing what's UP with these folks.

Mindshare... cocktails, conversation, filmmakers, scientists, comic book artist... what else can an Angeleno be hungry for? Social consciousness and ideas that are changing society.... A woman shared her program of sharing and renting your things out. I had no idea that people had SO MUCH STUFF and that the storage industry is making bank. If you've heard of zipcar and couchsurfing, you'll like knowing of what she's doing in Los Angeles with NeighborhoodGoods.Net.

After the talks, the dance floor was cleared of its chairs and the party carried on. I went downstairs to check out the art installations and had fun playing some interactive games. I made some new acquaintances, several who were regulars and many new like myself. Later I went upstairs again and made more hellos. I was able to introduce myself to the neuroeconomist and ask him a couple of questions on oxytocin and get a hug to raise my levels.

I'll be returning. Fascinated to hear further talks from the smart, sexy and successful of Los Angeles who have a social sensibility to create a fun event that is "enlightened debauchery."

Nice to find a beautiful people scene that is refreshing and absolutely hip. Go on, expand your horizons and get on with your sexy geek self and get yourself to Mindshare LA.

JNET

Leave a Comment

SPEECH: People Person

speech: people person

I have a confession I am going to share with you.

But first, I would like a show of hands. Who considers themselves a people person?

You have a demeanor that puts people at ease and gets them engaged. You like people and they like you back. Some of you may even light up the room when you enter and people are happy just because you are there.

I think it is fair to say that we all want to be likable. It's helpful.... to be gainfully employed, feel part of the neighborhood.... and prevent getting ourselves killed.

Even though some may do it all wrong.

And some of you may actually get a charge interacting with people.. even the ones who are offensive.

As for the ones who do things just right. Wow! They speak so well, they dress so sharp, they look minty fresh up close and from a distance. And some make their way to the big stage, with lights, cameras, and an awesome audience like you times wow.... multiplied by wow cubed!

Imagine. All those people. What a rush. Loving you...

listening to you so intently...

wondering what shampoo you use.

Imagine....

All....

those...

people.....

Contestmaster, Fellow Toastmasters, and Distinguished Guests.

Here's my confession.

I am not a people person.

Not in the sense that many of you kind people are. I do get a rush of energy. A rush of energy leaving my body. I wish I was built differently but for every hour that I play out in being with people, I need an hour to myself to recover. .. preferably in silence.

I rarely speak to people before noon. You know that scene where there's a person trying to make some sense of a baby and a toddler comes along to translate for the baby? I'm that baby. I let my friends talk for me.

No... no... no... I don't believe it.

Yes.. yes.. yes... Believe it.

But you perform, JNET. You dance. You host a podcast. You do speeches at Toastmasters.

As long as I have a structure to follow, a script, choreography, I manage... I dare myself with sink or swim situations. But this isn't as easy for me as it might be for another person. I am prone to fainting if I feel anxious. Heck, I fainted at home alone just thinking of this speech competition.

Performing is my "practice" to develop and enjoy some sort of poise despite sensing that my battery pack is depleting itself in processing so much. Standing here is like skydiving to face a fear of heights. But I am not afraid of people, I am just acutely aware that this experience is physically demanding for me... and this is where I learn to pack my parachute.

I'm an introvert stuck in an extavert's body.

If you ask me for my number, I will tell you straight off ... don't call.... even if you are a cutie pie and you know I'm crushing on you. Text me. Facebook me.

I have a preference to be alone. A lot. I am a process and reflect sort of girl. My family and friends are used to it. They check my status updates to make sure I'm okay and to keep up with what I'm up to. ­My mom learned that I was in Palm Springs for the Toastmaster convention only after she checked my Facebook.

When I spend time with those I love...

It's like when I am alone.

It's really nice. Lots of laughter but lots of space to be quiet.

Space to be quiet doesn't work at parties though that hasn't stopped me from retreating to a corner with a book. I fall by the side when conversations buzz around gossip, pop culture, sports. That is a lot of information to stay on top of. Â Even if I had an arsenal of jokes to share. Â I would still choose to be quiet.

I love people as all of us here do. Yet, being with people for some is like a shot of caffeine into their system. For me, its the opposite and if I'm in needy company it feels like a vampire is on my jugular. That's a lot for me to recover from. I may have to disappear for a few days or take a really long shower to feel like myself again.

I once had a roommate that could not help but talk talk talk about everything that excited her or made her sad. I was up to three showers at one point. It got so bad that my thoughts started taking on her voice. I had to ask her to leave.... I couldn't recenter myself.

Silence is Golden and I mine for it every day so that I can be the person you see and not pass out. Toastmasters puts high value on communicating and connecting, and now that you know my secret, that I am an introvert in an extrovert's body, I am going to dare and go out on a limb and make a stand for my fellow people-loving introverts who value communication, connecting and silence.

(silence)

Just a few minutes to go.

Just kidding.

Thanks for allowing me that.. I think that tiny bit of silence gave me an extra bar of juice.

Contestmaster

JNET

Leave a Comment

Toastmaster Convention 2010 @ Palm Desert

toastmaster convention 2010 @ palm desert



Just kidding.... There were no toasters, no bread and no toasting. But it definitely was roasting HOT out in the desert. It was 111 degrees this past Friday when BT and I set off on a two hour trek to Palm Springs to fit in a game of golf before attending the world championship of public speakers.

There's a competition for speaking? Yes. But it is not only speaking. It's also writing the speech, memorizing it, delivering it and moving your audience to tears and laughter through a rigorous rising above 35,000+ fellow competitors til you are one of the 10 finalists.

I have just attended my first TM Convention. Wow... cubed.

Imagine.... taking the stage on this final competition with a message that you hope wins you the number one spot. It is a huge stage... bright lights. And it is just you... JUST YOU... and you and you on two big projection screens on either side... and a panel of judges.... and a two thousand plus people listening to you.

All I can think of now is... How do I get myself there? And speak so powerfully as the winner, David Henderson did, making the audience laugh and finally break down to tears by the end.

For now I'm inspired as my brain whirs about in a flurry of thought. I'll be competing within my own club this week. Happy and fired up after a searing weekend out in the desert.

JNET

Leave a Comment

I'm Okay, You're Okay..... In Small Doses

i'm okay, you're okay.. in small doses


I read a joke on the internet the other day.

QUESTION: How many introverts does it take to have a meeting?

ANSWER: It only takes two but they both will need computers and an internet connection.

Cute. The gag somewhat eludes me. I want to chuckle but I'm at the edge of understanding the joke. And I don't want to bust a brain cell trying to figure out why this is so hilarious. I think an extravert wrote the joke.

I tried to find a joke about extraverts and came up empty. Darn. Guess I'll have to make one up to put some balance in the mix.

QUESTION: How many extraverts does it take to have a meeting?

ANSWER: What meeting? We never stayed on topic. We're going to have to reorganize and maybe structure a workshop to make it through the agenda.

Huh?.... says the extravert....

Don't tell me you've never witnessed an extravert doing what they do best.

"Wow... Does she ever come up for air?.... What an exhausting person."

Extraverts would like to think that introverts are anti-social, shy or are socially challenged. I've met a few that would congratulate themselves for crashing jnetsworld and saving me from a life that would be un-interesting without them. They are the ones that ask me when I am going to write about them.

Ummm. This is jnetsworld. I'll have to get back to you later on that one.

And those are the "confident" ones. Mind you the definition of an extravert is someone who derives their energy from others. There are those "gregarious" "people-person" types who have a more than healthy appetite for attention and then there are the voracious ones that are not as happy-go-lucky and need to be placated lest they display a show of fireworks and drama to insure their stage time.

Gotta love those crazy brazen folks though....always ready with an arsenal of jokes, skills to thrill and a pocket speech that they repeat ad nauseum. They are in their element in making sure no one leaves without knowing their name.

Extraverts... can be lovely... and less than lovely.

I once had a roommate who talked so much that my thoughts started to take on her voice. I had to ask her to leave. She could never be quiet. And I couldn't get anything done.

Introverts get their energy from having time to be quiet with themselves. I love people AND I need space to get my energy and focus up so that I can perform well in the social setting. I can happily work a 15 hour photo shoot and be amicable and meet with my students and create a fun and engaging piano lesson the next day... as long as I'm given my quiet time to recharge.

I think its fun if I don't speak to a single soul for a couple of days. Am I shy? No. Am I friendless and have nowhere to go? No. Would I welcome a random hello, a spontaneous plan? Absolutely... and only from certain people. Would I be hurt if a friend did not see me in a couple of weeks or even years? Not at all. I figure they have been up to something and will catch up with me eventually. All is right with the world. I don't depend on others for my happiness... and I prefer to steer clear of those who are demanding in order to be happy.

I think its quite centering to be introverted. I'm okay. You're okay..... in small doses. I will see you.... when I see you. You go on and enjoy doing your thing... Going to disappear now.

I get my energy during my quiet time.

Where do you get yours?

JNET

Leave a Comment

No Bitter Ink

no bitter ink



I've been surfing the random blog button.What can I say? I don't have cable. I don't even own a television. I suppose I can catch the reruns somewhere in the internet. But I like my life and I don't mind reading it again.

Good thing I haven't written anything I regret. I don't like collecting bad memories. If there is a dry writing spell in jnetsworld, it is on account of my taking stock of what is going on. I figure if I just keep quiet and not get reactive, sad or mean-spirited, Life will lend a creative way to frame it.It's an effort to sit in that silence to generate something like hope and forgiveness... especially when there is a barrage of negative energy.

XYZ: "I just got a text. Ahhh man, it's bad."

JNET: "Lemme see.... wow. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. Wait a minute. You're not answering that text... are you?"

XYZ: "Why not?"

JNET: "Because it's bait... it's words coming from a hurt and angry place. Don't feed it. If you write something, you have to write something good to diffuse it. It has to be worth remembering a hundred times."

XYZ: "Why? What do you mean?"

JNET: "Because that person cares about you and you really care about them despite this moment. If they are having a weak moment, don't throw it back at them. End it now, for both of you. Write nothing or write something good. That person will hold on to every word you write. That's life. That's love."

As I surf that random blog button, I am reminded that it is a good thing that I didn't journal with bitter ink. Maybe how I write is a way that I love my self and my life.

How's your ink?

JNET

Leave a Comment

Distilling JNET

distilling jnet

DISTILL: 1. to subject to a process of vaporization and subsequent condensation…. 2. to extract the volatile components of by distillation; transform by distillation.

I write… to make myself disappear. I play the piano to vaporise myself. I dance to disappear… I do many things to distill myself.

To put my mind on things that take away the weight of self-consciousness. To take myself to a place where the weight of second-guessing and judgement is put aside and I am unhindered by noise within myself and from my immediate surroundings.

It’s a daily meditation to play a piece or recite a poem, creating it, playing it for the hundredth time and giving it a renewed voice and soul.

To make life sound out like a favorite poem. And the only thing that matters is that that word, that note, that sequence of sound was an expression from a place of being true and feeling free.

To distill myself by pressing to make life as beautiful and honest as I possibly can, picking myself up whenever I trip over a measure of time. I resolve to create art instead of indulging disappointment. The next moment a note has a chance to redeem its self.

How would your life sound if you played it out loud?

JNET

Leave a Comment

blogarama.com

love is… dancing in a thunderstorm

My toddler niece, R, hurled a toy in the air and received a stern rebuking. While my brother stated the hazards of her actions in his “big voice” she came by my side.

JNET: “Did you say sorry?”

She nodded “no” and shrugged her shoulders.

JNET: “You’re meant to say sorry right away when you know you did something naughty. Next time… okay?”

Fast forward several hours into another brother’s home where he was using his “big voice” and reprimanding his daughter – letting her know that cell phone and internet privileges are being suspended…

R: “Somebody’s crying.” My niece reported acting leader of a trio of toddlers. I followed her to the bedroom around the corner. Their older cousin lay on her bed crying. She covered her eyes with a pillow I recognized from when she was a baby herself.

P: “Don’t cry.” One of the babies said in that high baby pitch pixie voice that charmed me despite the somber space. The babies gathered around their older cousin and comforted her with pats.

JNET: “You know your dad is very fair with what he said. He’s adores you and wants the best for you. You need to be stronger and your dad wants you to bump up how you are handling responsibility.”

She stopped crying then. Her mom came in and told the toddlers to follow but they stayed because the leader of their pack wanted to remain for the conversation. M got up to blow her nose.

P: “That was a lot.” Her pixie voice broke the silence with her observation. The babies looked at each other in agreement and then looked at their older cousin and then shrugged their shoulders. The situation seemed under control. The crying had ended.

JNET: “Okay I think you know what you need to do. Do what your dad asked. We’re going to go downstairs now. Everyone give M a hug.”

They lined up and gave her a hug and then I led the troop of toddlers to continue their play downstairs.

Within a couple of hours, both my brothers were on a project building something for the house. M handed over her phone to her dad and the trio of toddlers were bouncing on the couch cheering the dads on saying…

“We love daddy. We love daddy.”

It a full family day, we weathered a day of sunshine and rain, birthday cake and a bit of mess… the lightning flashed and thunder roared and I felt proud to see that love is… love happens… even in thunderstorms.

JNET

Leave a Comment