Walking Past the Illusion

The phone rang late last night. A friend was in distress...

In walking through with him and his challenge, the conversation began to swirl around my belief that all things natually lean toward wholeness but sometimes we project ourselves in such a way to negate the inclination.

"Your spine wishing to fuse to your hip bone seems quite surreal, JC. Broken bones heal but unbroken bones acting outside of character tells me that something in not aligned. Perhaps you've been more stationary than ever and your body is trying to accomodate and evolve with a new way of being... thing is, your moving is creating a conflict..."

And my friend's distraction into his pain is not helping his condition. He's panicking. He's 25 and was seeing a future of back surgeries and pain... something that needed to be nipped from his mind.

"JC, you've heard that your body responds to your moods. Are you open to looking into ways you can be a bit more proactive in taking care of yourself? (JC says "yes")... Can you see that your vision of your future, if continually negative, won't allow you to get well?"

"I'm praying so much about this JNET..."

"That's good. Let me help you by sharing how I pray... I THANK God as if everything has ALREADY happened... Thank you, God for the speedy recovery. I am so happy to be designed in such a marvelous way to feel healthy now. I am enjoying doing my martial arts and I'm enjoying taking yoga.... etc... JC, you're going to have to train your body to believe in being well and whole and demand that your body agree with you. It's not going to be easy. The pain will want to distract you."

"I KNOW."

"But you can't be lazy and let your body win. You'll have to keep suggesting to yourself what you ultimately want of yourself."

And so JC was able to go to sleep with some peace of mind and a resolution to take his own thoughts into account...

The conversation did not end there for me... I reviewed some of my own conflicts and came to a response from my "Salt Shaker" entry...

This came in from a stumbler friend:

"If you have a lovely relationship with yourself, that's a gift. It is something you have found, sharing it with another is found in developing a new relationship. .... It doesn't mean you have to give up on yourself; or that you have to be everything for him."

AND I HAD TO WONDER.... perhaps I do glorify my solitude and haven't came up with a clear vision how to consider sharing myself with someone.

I do have a vision. But it is in conflict with some other things that seem to flavor my life with. I would like a boyfriend but haven't met yet a sane single guy that is happy with their life and is looking at sharing it. I keep meeting guys who are already boyfriends to someone else. And the single guys I meet are not happy.

In talking with JC, I wondered if I was a clearing for unavailable guys and single unhappy men. It is what keeps showing up. I found that I needed to get clear of what I'm looking for and distance myself from the "pain"..

Funny, how life comes up with a lesson when you're busy helping someone...

I'm going to start imagining building a wonderful friendship that is happy, romantic, independent and interdependent that's going to develop as beautiful as a dance or a symphony... free from creating sadness in anyone rather... capable of inspiring many... and ever evolving into deeper and profound love....

How's that for a beginning in being specific???

JNET