SS: Tango-ing Thoughts

Slow... slow... quick quick... slow..

Promenade, grapevines, rock, lock, box, ochos, serpentines...

I am loving the choreography sequence being taught at my tango class.

But as I visit tango world for my dancing fix, studying how to use the body in a skilled art form, I am conscious of the fact that I am surrounded by salt shakers, that ubiquitous presence of pairs. Though I am grateful to "borrow" a guy for a dance, I become aware that perhaps my singularity is peculiar.

But I am a girl who goes to weddings, baby showers, and restaurants ALONE. And tango is for salt shakers ultimately.

It's been two weeks since I've seen the mathematician. We've since retreated to our work, the serenity of personal solitudes and I am still struck by the aftereffects of his presence. Still, I had a great evening with JC who made me a dinner that put me on the moon and I enjoy the hellos of several sweet.... potential shakers?

What is tango doing to me?

Hmm... maybe I should've signed up for flamenco instead.

JNET

Ego Kidnaps Idio

This Saturday's show on Blogtalkradio will be about idiosyncrasies... those cute little quirks that make you special. I woke up at 8:59 for last week's show. The show begins at 9 am every Saturday morning. To say the least, I winged it and was able to pull the show off and find that doing a part II will do the subject justice.

Quirks.

We have our own special quirks... But what happens when your EGO takes your cute quirks and make little monsters of them? What if your affinity for quiet time and independence renders you into a seasonal hermit? What if your self-reliance and confidence turns into self-absorption?

My particular quirk is my love for solitude. Despite the fact that I have a wonderful teaching practice coaching 30+ private students on the piano, despite the fact that I am in a weekly tango class and involved with another dance company, despite the fact that I am involved with church, family obligations and have a circle of close friends.... I am a loner and an introvert by nature. I RUN back to my solitude as my natural and original position.

Being social, writing for the public eye, hosting a radio show are ways to stretch me out of my comfort zone. I sprint back to my solitude once my mission is accomplished.

This "mad dash" is starting to stand out to me. In being mindful that my inner egomaniac is not wishing to make me seem anti-social, I'm trying to be more sensitive in how I do socialize without giving up who I am by nature.

This Saturday we will look at quirks and how egos make little baby Jekylls of them sometimes. Tune in, call in... :)

JNET

Life Loves Me

September is ushering in so much love into my life that it feels like God is tickling me silly.

I have sooo many new people in my life. I am absolutely charmed. I've gained almost a dozen new private students whose personalities have endeared themselves to me that I find it hard to entertain thoughts of packing up and moving back east.

I'm still doing "Tango til Midnight" dance class with the goth crowd. I've just arrived home and I have a BSF class in the morning that I'm looking forward to at 9:00am. Life is busy... incredibly busy. And yet I manage my private time to write, read a book and play the piano.

I am tackling the Iberia Suite by Isaac Albeniz. It's not easy but it is a nice obsession during my quiet time.

As I romance life, I find that life opens up more possibilites before me.

"What do you want? What is your wish?" Life asks...

"I want joy, creativity, abundance, growth, love, fun and adventure." I say.

And in being present to the possibility of magic in a spontaneous moment, I find that wishes do come true. It's September... and it feels like God is tickling me silly with so much love.

JNET

Jnetsworld Keeps Moving and Grooving

So there! I've nixed jnetworld from blogtalkradio.

I decided to evolve it to simply "Romancing LA". I want it to grow to a show about romancing life and not necessarily just about my life. A conversation between fellow lovers of life, negativity slayers, bridge builders and lemonade makers.

A community of rugged angels that trek this world from Los Angeles and beyond that are creating lives as works of art that speak of beauty, elegant, compassion...

Calling all rugged angels, please introduce yourselves at myspace and call in to say hello so that I may put a voice to you at Romancing LA.

What the heck is a piano teacher doing hosting a radio show?

I host this show because I'm more than a piano teacher. I write but I am more than a writer. I dance because I am more than a dancer. I do many things; I am many things and write of living on multi-dimensions of experience and thought.

And parts of me struggle everyday to throw in proverbial little towels or tissues at the many possibilites of ways of being. I want to have my boo hoo moments. I want to have a lazy week or take a month long vacation or at least sleep in and not step out of my head and share my thoughts.

But Life kicks me into attention and back into Intention. I learn lessons from those that share their world with me. I learn lessons from people whose world COLLIDE with me. I am blessed by a passing hello.

And perhaps... the world out there... experiences little bits similar to what they hear from my world.

Jnetsworld's nixing from blogtalkradio has evolved to being "Romancing LA", a Saturday morning conversation to not complain about Life but to exalt it and to laugh at the comedy and look at the world with the freshness of a Saturday morning cartoon... not necesarily visually but definitely emotionally, psychologically and spiritually.

Some of you out there have stepped up and said hello, commented on my blogs, called into the show and many have become a special universe of friends and supporters and encouragers... and are rugged angels about the world.

Thanks so much. Without your hellos into my corner of the world, jnetsworld would not have grown and evolved as it has. Thanks for your generous sharing.

JNET

Uncentering the Egomaniac in You

It's back to school month and in jnetsworld it is BACK TO SELF month.

Is your EGO getting in the way like a troll that calls the shots as to when you can cross the bridge?

We all have egos and they love to wear different masks and the particular one I am addressing this month is the fearsome troll that takes over one's better interest.

Last week in "Games Egos Play" we talked about the different masks one may find oneself wearing. Are you a certain person with your parents versus your friends or your colleagues? When you're the director of your life and you don't know that you're wearing a look that is no longer working for you and you are stuck in a script, how do you evolve to enjoy an authentic and spontaneous life?

Forgive yourself first and let's stop taking the stage too seriously. It's time to play in the prop closet and see what is there. Awareness doesn't have to be a scary thing.

This coming week's show is called, "Putting Away the Mask: Uncentering the Egomaniac in You." I'll be piecing my thoughts together and welcome your thoughts.

Call in to say hello.

JNET

Aren't We A Pair

The mathematician said hello yesterday evening.

The ironies of Life never cease to amaze me.

We toasted to J and C last night at a concert in Descanso Gardens. J and C brought two extremely busy and resistent people, myself and the mathematican to a lunch several years ago. Our respective relationships with J and C disintegrated (putting it lightly) but nonetheless, I loved the irony and thought it worthy of a toast.

In the spirit of Mozart's playfulness, we lifted our cups to defy past enmities while The Marriage of Figaro played. If ever I was to describe a cosmic explosion, then I have to say that such happened the day I met this enigmatic man. I once thought romantic love was a plebeian pursuit that brought less than ideal realizations.

The world shook again as I sat at his side and wondered where the white rabbit was. I enjoyed my evening in wonderland and wish I could find my way there. Why can't I find it without the mathematician? A part of me still wants to deny that he has such power.

There were some days that the mathematician seem more mythical than real. And the times I see him, reality feels fantastic.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"Do you want to discuss metaphysics?"

"We can discuss nonsense or metaphysics, as long as we enjoy ourselves."

"So who was supposed to be your date tonight had I not come?"

"I had no date planned. S called last night to say he was playing in the orchestra and that he had a couple of tickets. I hadn't spoken to him in several months. This evening purely came out of spontaneity."

I didn't expect my invisible muse to make an appearance. I had grown comfortable with my epistolary hellos and never expected anything more than he be a listener and quiet force in my life.

Last night at the garden, all I could think of... was...

"Aren't we a pair?"

It was perfect. Two ascetics trying to navigate the terrain of a date. We laughed a lot and then we kissed goodbye.

Onto the romance of Life....

Hopefully, I will see my mathematician again.

JNET

Games Egos Play

Are you being played? By Your Self???

Do your friends know you as a different person than the folks at work? Are you a different person at home than with your family? If you are boogie-ing between roles that Life can sometimes scratch out a bad mix and you're living life thankful to not be caught between costume changes, then chances are you are living a life of pretense.

Elaborating Reality in an effort to sidestep boredom, living out a separate reality because everyone is so stinking narrow-minded that you NEED a mask, working to be DIFFERENT that it sometimes feels like indentured servitude, who is it really serving? Do you feel like master of your life or does it feel like the mask is mastering you?

It is said that "knowing thyself" is a key to happiness but what is going on when a day is an odyssey of bringing out different characters to the stage?


In the past I've done mask work on stage. Change your mask, change your body... mannerisms. It was fun to play with the changes. I became very conscious of details... of how to hold my hands, my head. There were no words. I had to speak with my body.

But what happens when you make a mask for yourself and you cannot go offstage without it? What happens if you outgrow a mask but you don't know how to take it off? What happens if you've been working from a script for so long and you no longer love the character that you've created?

In a world that cares about how you look, what does it take to present oneself in naked honesty? Some days we look fantastic, other days not as great.. and some days less than good.

For the month of September, our back to school theme is "getting back to the self" in the school of life.

We all have egos and sometimes they get in the way of possible worlds.

Tune in ... listen to the archives... call in to join the conversation.

JNET

Summer Serenade

I did not fall madly in love and get swept away into a world of romance this season. Instead I found my song; my inner melody.

I like it. I can dance to it and find that energy that leads and smiles as we go around the floor.... never letting me trip or fall.

I romanced Life this summer and despite uncertain moments, I never did let go of the embrace that held me through out the song. Tap tap, a passing suitor tried to grab my attentions. A couple of fellows tried to interrupt dances out of selfish ambition. The confusion of a moment did not destroy the rhythm and I found myself back in step and the gaze of my serenader gentle.

I am being serenaded by love, kindness and patience. What harmony can be made with noise?

I did not fall madly in love and find a summer romance. I found men who gave me flowers who loved to eat roses. I found men who looked at jewelry as leashes and never understood sparkle. I found men that insisted on a dance but only knew the mosh pit and not a ballroom.

Funny, despite the disruptions; I found myself. I found my melody, my song and that it was Life that wishes to romance me.

JNET