Bye Bye March Madness

My darling world had a bit of a hiccup this month. Thank God for a fresh start with upcoming April.

I landed onto March with a slide onto homeplate full of scuffs and proverbial bruises. March was a shaky month for me despite clearing away the questionable Mystic, grabbing some free time to escape to Palm Springs for a weekend, enjoying a visit from mom and niece and gaining a new roommate and friend (we seem well matched thus far)....

I could've done with a bit more hugs and a nice windfall of cash to make for a stronger rise after the dust settled but a shaky ascension is better than lying down to humor self-pity.

It is still raining but I stand under my umbrella. Do I wish I had some company to sing songs with while I wait the storm off?

No.

I found myself avoiding certain phone calls and not answering to certain emails that seemed to want to steal the wind I had to muster myself with.

"Honey, I am sorry that I can't help you. You live in Los Angeles. If you moved closer to me, life would be easier... I would be able to help you out."

"You know, you would have more security if you got a regular secure job. Being self-employed is hard and harder still because you're a woman."

"If you only had a man to take care of you, you wouldn't have to struggle so much. You should get married."

GOD, HOW I LOVE THE OVERFLOWING ENCOURAGEMENTS OF SUCH PEOPLE!

Though I enjoyed the votes of confidences from friends, it was my own vote of confidence that I needed. I avoided any voices that would push any delicate weakness in favor of opinions that put me down. Those well meaning intentions that had a canny way of dowsing my self-belief were side-stepped.

Shall I feed my mind with the noise of insecurity and sing that I am living in desperate straits or steadily rise through the quiet edifications and encouragements of soul voices?

April will be a great month. Nothing wrong with little spring showers as long as it helps me grow.

JNET