Visiting wonderland is not so scary.
"Are you afraid of anything?"
Fear, that's an interesting thought. It's an irrational game to entertain and torture one's thoughts over or to amuse oneself with in egotistical glory.
"Fear is reactive. I can't say that I sit with that one much. Perhaps I'll have a passing thought that might qualify fear, but I tend to analyze my thoughts and make a choice from there. Fear doesn't make choices... it just acts."
I lean towards indifference.
I wasn't afraid playing with the possibility of visiting a new dimension with the aid of a neural stimulus. Would my friends and family think ill of me? No. I'm known to be unconventional but I am also respected.
"What do you hope to find on the other side?" I was asked.
"If I was to find any sort of entity to communicate with, I think I'd find myself... my higher self from the future that creates my life with me in the present. As for answers for insights.... I'd like to learn about my "origins" and connect to a spiritual history. I'd also thank the higher self for its intention and power in my present NOW and I'd ask if there was anything particular I can pay attention to for a powerful path into my future."
I was ready for any experience that might glean some wisdom. I felt safe, strange enough with all the lighting and cameras on me. I also had two friends that I trusted my life with... and I had done quite a bit of conversations and research to pave an educated journey.
Did anything happen at all?
Yes. Within the first 2 minutes I was whisked into a neural roller coaster of cascading color and spiraling motion. My thoughts were interrupted with questions to myself. Why am I here again? What did I just take?
I felt silly that I had forgotten. The neural fireworks didn't last long and I sat up asking if I might have another dose. I closed my eyes again and found myself caught up in the motions of molecules. The blue waves of the first session was followed by beads of reds, whites and pinks breathing like a science model in motion.
For whatever reason there are for it, that is what I saw for a few moments with my eyes closed. I had the physical sensation of a restful rush if that makes sense and then there was the sounds of reality to humble me back to the present.
Most of the time, I quietly laid like "sleeping beauty" and woke refreshed to get on with my day. It was easy to walk away from this atypical moment.
I do not return with fanciful spiritual lessons from conversations with heavenly entities. I wonder if such experiences are purely ego expressions to wow an audience with. I learned that there is nothing to fear even within the space of confusion.
My thoughts had an amusing run that met with silence dotted with the sounds of the little boys that live downstairs, the old man walking above and the laundry dryer signaling the end of its cycle in the building across from me.
Life goes on despite this spiritual being's quest in exploring the human experience.
I was a bit disappointed that I didn't have something more to share. But the "healing" qualities did kick in. If you might recall earlier this week I complained of not feeling well, my neck had a kink that I couldnt' sort out. Several friends tried giving me massages over the week after I had complained that I felt out of sorts and that I hurt through to my wrists. I hadn't played the piano much this week on account of my discomfort.
I can't say that I feel out of sorts anymore. I actually feel a lot better and well rested and ready to happily practice again.
JNET
If you are interested in this project on spirituality and altered states and want to share your take on your reality. Contact me.
peaceful voyage you had
ReplyDeleteglad it went well
mine was a bit different
the substance I used was probably a bit stronger
quite intense
take care,
Ken
what a clear and unpretentious description of your latest experience, thankyou for sharing it and how you look at fear.
ReplyDeletei have an idea that the people who get really high, also get really low, havent developed a quiet inner peace to deal with the extremes.
thanks again jnet, glad you're back!
don
wow jnet, nice blog! I enjoyed reading it, you have a very engaging style! And you're brave! And, gosh, you ask a lot of questions, my head is swirling! After reading about your initial jetski experience, I was inspired to do a similar thing, ie, myself and some friends are going to record a session and try communicate the experience while it's still fresh, I'll let you know how that turns out and maybe something will come out of it you can use in your project! You're welcome to 'interview' me if you want to, though I'm not the most knowledgeable person around! I can give you opinions from my experience though. Perhaps not as eloquent as you! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading my neural jetskis posts... And thank you for your encouraging compliments.
ReplyDeleteLet me know how your experiment goes... I am interested in seeing what you come up with. Maybe I can include it in my project. I really would like to have a diverse assortment of people and pursue that the spirituality and being brave to go into the unknown - speaks to many people. And if I can create something on film that is as "eloquent" as my writing than I do some good with the project and open people's minds.
I am not sure what to make of my experience except that others have related to the same subtle intensity :) After filming my door bell rings... My student had come earlier for their piano lesson! I went straight into teaching as the lights and cameras were put away.
I didn't see astral beings, God or have any sort of "spiritual experience"... and wonder if such hallucinations are ego-influenced... a self wanting that sooo badly...
Rather, I saw myself as spiritual being having a human experience... taking a substance that excited parts of my brain that don't necessarily get stimulated otherwise and taking on the ride for what it was... a fun illusion.. hence.. "neural jetskis"
Let me know of your experiment. And let me know whenever you are in Los Angeles.
JNET
Let me know how your experiment goes... I am interested in seeing what you come up with.
ReplyDeleteOK, the 'plan' is just to film the experience and let the person babble on about what just happened. Very free-flow, but if you want we can try answer specific questions in the light of the experience...?
:) After filming me take salvia, my door bell rings... My student had come earlier for their piano lesson! I go straight into teaching her as the lights and cameras were put away.
:) There are not many psychedelics you can function like that straight after!
I didn't see astral beings, God or have any sort of "spiritual experience"... and wonder if such hallucinations are ego-influenced... a self wanting that sooo badly...
I think I only half agree with you... (what? me? commitment issues!)
On the one hand, I think that these plants (salvia, Ayahuasca, mushrooms, mescaline) are spiritual in their nature, that by consuming them, psychological and experiential boundaries are broken down, *despite* our ego, which is itself transcended. That effect is real. I guess what I'm trying to say is that rather than the experience being ego-influenced, it is almost the opposite, ie ego destroying.
On the other hand the experience often reflects and exposes our hidden fears and desires, so in that sense you are correct.
On both hands, the interpretation of the experience, the "what just happened" retrospect is absolutely ego-based. Someone who believes in God may think they just had a religious vision (the descriptions of religious ecstatic visions and LSD experiences are very similar). A person that doesn't may think they are going mad.
Remember, that psychedelic experiences are never repeated, and a desired effect cannot be guaranteed. one can take LSD 100 times and then one day have a spiritual visionary experience. It's a bit unpredictable.
Either way, as Aldous Huxley says:
"The man who comes back through the Door in the Wall will never be quite the same as the man who went out. He will be wiser but less sure, happier but less self-satisfied, humbler in acknowledging his ignorance yet better equipped to understand the relationship of words to things, of systematic reasoning to the unfathomable mystery which it tries, forever vainly, to comprehend."
This is from "The Doors of Perception" which, if you haven't read, I would highly recommend.
Rather, I saw myself as spiritual being having a human experience... taking a substance that excited parts of my brain that don't necessarily get stimulated otherwise and taking on the ride for what it was... a fun illusion..
That is one interpretation, another is that our everyday perception of the world is filtered and sorted before reaching our conscious awareness. We cannot be aware of all the information our senses pick up all the time so our brain filters out some of it, our ego filters out some it, both filter in memory influences and the like and we 'experience' whatever reaches our awareness. Could be that taking a substance that excites parts of your brain, removes some of these filters, adds new filters or just adjusts the filters so the world is experienced differently.
It's not an illusion any more than our normal everyday experience is an illusion. (or maybe it is an illusion just like our normal everyday experience is an illusion)
It's an interesting topic for discussion at any rate!
Let me know of your further experiments with salvia. And let me know whenever you are in Los Angeles.
I will do! I don't think I'll make it to the States for a few years though! One never knows I guess. I will be travelling through Europe from about May, so if you are there let me know too!
Oh, and have a lovely and joyous Christmas and all the best for 2007!
oh, and last thing, I liked your last blog post, you give good advice! I hope you're appreciated, because good friends are hard to come by!