Solitude Feels Like A Cozy Rainy Day

It's mid-November and the weather has been gorgeous. I've been driving with the convertible top down. It's been an interesting week. Every week seems to go that way. What's up for next week? Tons, as usual.

I learned a new dance today that I'll obsess over the week and practice at home. I revisited a Chopin waltz I haven't touched since high school that I think I'll work on memorizing as well as enjoyed spending time with Beethoven's Presto Third movement to his Moonlight Sonata.

I've been busy running around for commitments and though the weather is gorgeous outside, I've enjoyed getting into my pajamas first thing, turning off the phones, and sitting still with myself and reflect upon the week.

I was a bit disappointed this week not making it to "God's Gate" with neural jetskis. I didn't get to see "the tunnel of light," have an NDE, or a conversation with luminous beings. But I felt happy and clear-minded. Perhaps spiritual revelation doesn't have to look like having the doors blasted down. I feel mine, in general, come about like pushing aside gossamer curtains. Every day, I experience quiet liberations.

The challenges within musical compositions, dance choreography, a diverse assortment of friends, and engaging conversations provide space for "altered states" in just dealing with the variety and navigating with grace. Life is my mind trip. If you want intense, be PRESENT... everything IS blissfully beautiful within the clearing.

Still, I look forward to meeting different thinkers and learn what experience they gain from putting on neural jetskis.

My friend is filming a documentary on spirituality and altered states. Some people can get to that space through meditation; the paths are many. I'm fascinated by the possibility of so many interesting conversations and people he'll come across.

Here's their contact email if you're interested in the project: info@klm-creative.com

JNET

Neural Jetskis: Maybe I don't Have the SPIRIT In Me

"I could never do any sort of drug... even if it's legal..."

Me, the girl that doesn't even drink coffee, smoke cigarettes and classifies all candy and cakes as simply SUGAR... didn't have the same judgements as my friend. He explained that being from Europe, he couldn't have anything on him that might serve as an excuse to deport him or not hire him for work.

"If people want you, they'll want you. If they don't, they'll want to find an excuse to tell you."

"Well, I don't want to have an excuse available!"

All I could think of during that drive to work was that a life dictated by fear of other's people's opinions even the ones we love is paralyzing... not only in action by also in thought.

The world is full of diverse folks and I've had my interactions with some different groups. I guess you can say I'm a social tourist. It's made my life much richer to simply visit. I don't care about stimulating my brain for highs whether through caffeine, sugar, or shamanic legal plants. I have music and other natural ways to send me to bliss.

You can learn a lot by walking in another's shoes and so I am curious when an opportunity to take on another view and perspective is presented. I'm a thinker, an analyzer, who likes to to learn about the mind and I'm not afraid to question my own thoughts and systems. I am open to modify the paradigm I have and gain perspectives that are empowering.

The shamanic paths or the fascination of altered states that eludes certain people interest me. I think I have a healthy skepticism and I was disappointed that I didn't have a "spiritual" experience. I felt like I went to church and didn't get "filled with the holy spirit" as all the believers postulated would happen. I had to wonder if such experiences are somewhat ego driven.

I was never designed as an emotional sort. I'm the girl who passes the bandwagon and says I'm happy to walk. I was open to the possibility of having something incredible to write about but alas.. that was not the case.

And so this is what my skepticism asks about this neural rollercoasting railway...

Is there really a god experience to be had? OR, does the experience of "meeting god" come about because the seeker needs that kind of confirmation and has requested it?

I don't think the vehicle which people use to take themselves there really matters. Feeling happy in the space of choosing boredom, sadness, happiness or whatever you choose out of your emotional vocabulary is a choice.

If the path one chooses works and helps one to be a functioning happy fully expressed human being then I say good. If it creates disconnect and distraction, then I think some further thought would be useful.

When the conversation turns into.. this is the best way... this is the sure way... the tools for living get sold off and turned into mere status symbols (religions, social positions, luxuries) These privileges and tools that a rational mind can play with become icons that are shells with the life taken out of them.... creating bizarre and sad results.

I feel happy with my choice to check out a piece of the unknown. The most important thing that impressed upon me was that I really felt free and that I live freely.

Free from paralyzing fears of the unknown, of what's in my head and especially of others opinions. What is living honestly if you can't even allow yourself to be brave when you want to face fear mindfully?

I think living in fear is to live out of your mind. Isn't that a bit... insane?

JNET

Neural Jetskis: A Few Notes on Wonderland

Visiting wonderland is not so scary.

"Are you afraid of anything?"

Fear, that's an interesting thought. It's an irrational game to entertain and torture one's thoughts over or to amuse oneself with in egotistical glory.

"Fear is reactive. I can't say that I sit with that one much. Perhaps I'll have a passing thought that might qualify fear, but I tend to analyze my thoughts and make a choice from there. Fear doesn't make choices... it just acts."

I lean towards indifference.

I wasn't afraid playing with the possibility of visiting a new dimension with the aid of a neural stimulus. Would my friends and family think ill of me? No. I'm known to be unconventional but I am also respected.

"What do you hope to find on the other side?" I was asked.

"If I was to find any sort of entity to communicate with, I think I'd find myself... my higher self from the future that creates my life with me in the present. As for answers for insights.... I'd like to learn about my "origins" and connect to a spiritual history. I'd also thank the higher self for its intention and power in my present NOW and I'd ask if there was anything particular I can pay attention to for a powerful path into my future."

I was ready for any experience that might glean some wisdom. I felt safe, strange enough with all the lighting and cameras on me. I also had two friends that I trusted my life with... and I had done quite a bit of conversations and research to pave an educated journey.

Did anything happen at all?

Yes. Within the first 2 minutes I was whisked into a neural roller coaster of cascading color and spiraling motion. My thoughts were interrupted with questions to myself. Why am I here again? What did I just take?

I felt silly that I had forgotten. The neural fireworks didn't last long and I sat up asking if I might have another dose. I closed my eyes again and found myself caught up in the motions of molecules. The blue waves of the first session was followed by beads of reds, whites and pinks breathing like a science model in motion.

For whatever reason there are for it, that is what I saw for a few moments with my eyes closed. I had the physical sensation of a restful rush if that makes sense and then there was the sounds of reality to humble me back to the present.

Most of the time, I quietly laid like "sleeping beauty" and woke refreshed to get on with my day. It was easy to walk away from this atypical moment.

I do not return with fanciful spiritual lessons from conversations with heavenly entities. I wonder if such experiences are purely ego expressions to wow an audience with. I learned that there is nothing to fear even within the space of confusion.

My thoughts had an amusing run that met with silence dotted with the sounds of the little boys that live downstairs, the old man walking above and the laundry dryer signaling the end of its cycle in the building across from me.

Life goes on despite this spiritual being's quest in exploring the human experience.

I was a bit disappointed that I didn't have something more to share. But the "healing" qualities did kick in. If you might recall earlier this week I complained of not feeling well, my neck had a kink that I couldnt' sort out. Several friends tried giving me massages over the week after I had complained that I felt out of sorts and that I hurt through to my wrists. I hadn't played the piano much this week on account of my discomfort.

I can't say that I feel out of sorts anymore. I actually feel a lot better and well rested and ready to happily practice again.

JNET

If you are interested in this project on spirituality and altered states and want to share your take on your reality. Contact me.

Neural Jetskis: Wrap Your Mind Around This

I said yes.

Tomorrow morning we're filming ME.

Maybe it's because I look like a Sunday school teacher. Maybe it's because I may have a novel opinion. Maybe it's because I'm not afraid.

I said YES to being filmed taking on a psychedelic (NOT ADDICTIVE, non EUPHORIC) natural and LEGAL herb tomorrow. So I'm going to splash around my head tomorrow using neural jetskis. And I hope to have an experience worthy to articulate. Part of me worries that absolutely nothing will happen but I suppose the mere fact that I am open to any possibility as long as I'm not in danger is a conversation anyway.

It's not a party substance. It's a go journey in your head and be open to the unknown challenge. Am I afraid of my own thoughts and what might be kicking around in my noggin? Absolutely not. I actually feel quite stable with life and my thoughts that I wonder if it might be a nonevent.

I wonder.... if the psychedelic experience is really the neurosis of people's insecurities or perhaps the exploration of a nurtured imagination. Can I direct my experience solely with my intention?

I'll be sure to take lots of vitamins and juice before the cameraman arrives... Wish me luck:)

JNET

Un-Narrowing a Space for Conversation

by HD .

Does being a down-to-earth type mean passing on the curiosity and intrigue of altered states?

Life IS a mind game that sobers and intoxicates. Isn't simply living and breathing a perpetual complex chemical process? Then mind-altering drugs is not about issues of right and wrong but rather about being beneficial versus not being beneficial.

As a non-chemical girl, this seems like a logical conclusion.

I don't have a huge reputation nor history of drug experimentation. Does that invalidate my opinion to share my thoughts and my curiosity to observe?

I am the girl who takes vitamins, listens to classical music, and goes to church. To some, those are terms to distrust and deem someone as conservative and intolerant. A helpful euphemism sometimes used is "naive". Doesn't that mildly undermine and blindsight one's self from seeing thinkers that don't necessarily live a lifestlye of chemical experimentation?

If your thoughts bring about prejudices, are you aware of them enough to thank them for their opinion and allow yourself to think freely of your own opinion for a moment?

How narrow is my mind?

How narrow is your mind?

How free is my mind?

How free is your mind?

Am I an unlikely voice for mind altering substances?

I saw something change someone's life. Something out of the ordinary. As I debate writing about it, I wonder if the world is too simple and judgemental to care. Who needs to hear a story about transformation where families re-connect and lives are regained... when the hunger is for misery and pain? Who wants to hear about doctors going against popular politics because they are saving lives by unconventional means?

Somehow in the sane-ness that is my life, I have intersected at a junction that looks like insanity to the common mind but is a portal of possibility under another realm.

Can I un-narrow a space for conversation?

More thoughts to come...

Why Would Anyone Want to Play or Bend Reality?

by Downhillskater.

For someone who rarely touches coffee and soda pops, someone who doesn't care for cigarettes and prefers natural highs over altered states, someone whose alchohol vocabulary is limited to ordering drinks by color...

I feel like PURPLE today... Can you make me a purple cocktail???

I would think that I am an unlikely voice for mind altering substances.

But what do you do when you see something change someone's life? Something out of the ordinary? I debate writing about it. The world is too simple and judgemental.

Who needs to hear a story about transformation where families re-connect and lives are regained... when the hunger is for misery and pain? Who wants to hear about doctors going against popular politics because they are saving lives by unconventional means?

Somehow in the sane-ness that is my life, I have intersected at a junction that looks like insanity to the common mind but is a portal of possibility under another realm.

I am the girl who doesn't drink coffee and doesn't care about the latest fashion cocktail. I've never done acid and being on LSD meant that I was literally driving up Lakeshore Drive.

Shall I share what is on my mind? I debate with myself... How narrow is my mind?

And ...

How narrow is your mind?

More thoughts to come....

This American's Trip: Tearing UP Life

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Away from that which he fears... my friend ran.

He travelled to the edge of the world and found the door to God and turned away. He knew there existed something on the other side which he couldn't drop from his mind and confirmation came. Hearing the voice that he wanted so much to hear, he found that he wasn't ready for the message. So he turned away and returned to the world as it is.

There are some doors that are meant to be opened and others another time.

I told my friend that I will travel to the edge of the world and see what there is for me to find. How can I not? I've had the world ripped in half before my eyes profoundly in more than one instance. But I blinked and lost the fleeting moment.

Will I cross that imaginary line called FEAR and trust to find answers on the other side?

At this point, I don't care about the answers. I wonder... rather... if I am willing to show up to the question.

The Tree of Life, originally uploaded by Norby.