Keeping Abundance in Mind

"You're poor."

"No, I'm not... My bank is just empty."

The unexpected expenses of travelling was a lot easier to take in stride than the upsets that occurred between my travelling companion and I. Yesterday, I had to cancel on teaching a family because President Bush's visit had created many roadblocks. The mother of the children was also not home because she was attending the event that the president was at.

hmmm...Travel expenses, no pay while on vacation, lesson cancellations, roommate moved out and I'm paying rent all by myself. I am somehow not depressed over the situation. I've NEVER had a HIT like this before. It's not worth the time to worry. After a dry summer, I'm finally getting calls from prospective new students. whew.

I went home and enjoyed a quiet night and literally sat with silence for the evening. It was sooo nice.

I'm musing over Mystic's suggestion of moving in. Though we are great friends, at this junction, I'd like to give living alone a go and continue growing our relationship with the freedom of being able to close the door at the end of the day to be with myself.

I create my sanity in stillness.

Just imagining the daily questions of "Where did you go?", "What will we do today?", "What shall we eat?" is noisy in my head. I have a different way of looking at relationship and it's not about companionship (I don't need someone to validate my existence) nor is it about convenience (life is easier solo) or stability (I create my own stability.) I want this time to be my own greatest companion, learning about rising above struggle and celebrating life nonetheless.

Am I poor? No, my bank account is just on the slim side this week but I feel rich. Life is interesting. People make me think and laugh. I am excited to live alone. Keeping abundance in mind I'll float this challenging time. Despair seems like a lazy choice.

JNET