Conflict - Resolution

"So, I noticed my bed was not the way I left it... Who slept in my bed while I was away?"

I was a bit perturbed but I didn't want AM to think I cast blind eyes on naughty behavior.

I asked my former roommate, AM, this morning and she told me that she had a party, used my bed (but cleaned them since they smoked and got my bed smelling like cigarettes) and used my bedroom as a party room while I was on vacation.

I asked her straight and I was glad that she didn't try to hide. She clearly has a different sense of boundaries than I. I had HIDDEN some items that they searched for their party enjoyment. I was a bit gobsmacked but not too shocked. I was just happy to get my housekey back.

She's a little too comfortable using it since she's moved out - coming in to borrow things while I am away.

A's little voice in the back of my head insists...

"You are sooo naive! You deserve to be taken advantage of if you're not going to fight."

But I am not blind here and I don't wish to create any battles. My former roommate has no sense of boundaries and living with her infringed upon my space. She will do the same to anyone. How do you tell a blob to not act like a blob? AM is life with lots of splash and mess.

NOT MY STYLE... but a different flavor that may charm someone else more.

I don't think she's malicious. I think she's oblivious that her boundaries exceed most people.

She came as a visitor to my home world. I'm glad that I didn't have to divorce her to get her out. She just had to live somewhere else.

I drove her to the airport today and had a smooth confrontational talk. She didn't hem and haw making excuses.. She came clean... even exposing more naughty details of what liberties she took of my space while I was away. WOW....

I won't make a new enemy but I'll keep her friendship at a healthy distance where I won't have to wonder about my stuff and space anymore.

As for my Jamaican nightmare vacation with my most disagreeable best friend turned monster. She was aware of her mean spirit and knows that I've been stung. She tried to make some friendly conversation the other day in letting me know excitedly that a cutie has moved in the building. One cute guy in a predominantly single girls building... HOORAY.

It was her way of giving me a peace offering, I guess :)

A's attempt at reconnecting was SOMETHING. We'll take a break from each other and I hope that she'll take stock of how out of control she can get. For now, I'll forgive her and blame the travelling mishaps for feeding our stress, her not having cigarettes to smoke for a week and her being pre-menstrual.

I want to live a peaceful life. NO, I am not NAIVE and therefore open season for abuse. I just choose my battles wisely. There is a certain line that one has to cross to leave JNETSWORLD. Sometimes I need to let my friends sit on that line...

and choose.

JNET