Minding the Silence

It's so easy to miss those tiny notations of silence sometimes. Afterall, aren't the notes the most important things to pay attention to?

Rests are so.... slight... so abstract. These squiggles, dashes and numbers that dictate silence in a score demanding that we delay sound for less than a blink or sometimes much much more.

You learn to anticipate well

You learn to anticipate well and perhaps learn how to make the notes meaningful. What? You don't only have to work on mastering notes but you have to master the silence that punctuates the sound too?

Yes.

Else you step into a space not meant for you... else you ring out a note into a space that makes the harmony muddled and create dissonance... else you step into the void and find that everyone will be joining you in 4 more bars and you get to embarrass yourself.

What's the point of trading solos if you can't mind your silence? How moving can the music be can be if we "played" the rests well?

Some thoughts to play with.

JNET
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The Art of Listening

JNET: "Listen for your mistakes. You're to see if you can find them first and fix them before I must point them out to you."

XYZ: "Why don't you just stop me right away if I make a mistake?"

JNET: "I think it is a slower way to learn; to stop at every single mistake."

If we were to stop at every single mistake then I wouldn't be able to point at a pattern of mistakes. And yet it happens, my student will play a sequence of notes and then hit a screaming halt where we listen in silence; their big eyes staring at me for direction and validation.

JNET: "You know how to read music. Read the note."

Sometimes the students stares further, begging for a quick answer. The gap of silence grows and I sit with it. I don't care. Thinking shouldn't have to be something awkward to be avoided. I invite my student to think. I have to get literal on them. Tell them to look at the paper and think. I also raise a paper to cover my face.

XYZ: "Just tell me!"

JNET: "That would be too easy. You know how to get to the answer and you want me to support you to be lazy. Come now. You are not a lazy person. Are you? Anyway, stop staring at me for the answer. Are there notes on my face?"

It takes a lot of patience to listen to mistakes. Teaching a student to be patient with their own self so that they can anticipate where their mistakes comes from is a lesson on self-awareness that a 6 year old can grasp yet a 16 year old may stumble over.

XYZ: "Wait... wait... don't tell me. I got it under control."

JNET: "Sure you don't want me to point to the notes for you."

XYZ: "No pointing! I can handle this."

Sweet words from a mindful student. If you can listen to yourself and modify mistakes. If you can think for yourself and master a new piece, what in life can stop you for expressing something beautiful and on purpose?

There more to music lessons than notes.

JNET

Bah Humbug

I lived on coffee this week.

I didn't bother with too much food because when my schedule is particularly tight, I'm not a eat an run girl and therefore skip on food. My schedule went upside down with parents forgetting to bring their child to their piano appointment. I spent way too much time than I cared for waiting when I would have rather done other things... like laundry, sleep, eat, and of course ... Christmas shop.

And so I taught at times that were normally meant to be my personal time... Time to sleep, eat, do laundry, errands and drank coffee which I rarely do... and found myself doing my work knowing that I hadn't slept in over 36 hours.

I don't know if they understood my forthrightfulness when I explained the inconvenience of making up their missed commitments on my personal time... They were hellbent that I somehow OWED them my time since they had paid for the lesson. Since over 50% of the parents did not keep their regular time commitment, I didn't feel like taking up a war... I have hospital bills that I owe from collapsing after exhausting myself in October by subsidizing other's poor time management skills.

I'm still jacked up on coffee. It is nearly 4am and I am anxious over needing to get to San Diego to visit my family for the holidays. I should be happy to relax but my house is a wreck. The christmas tree is on the floor after a fall and it is too heavy to put it up by myself. I am happy though that I've nearly completed my wrapping of gifts for my family.

I dread the phone ringing....

"Miss JNET, I am soooo sorry that I missed our piano lesson this week. Can YOU make up the lesson to US tomorrow???"

How can anyone learn about time management and commitment when people don't know how to own and PAY for mistakes? How is it that even if I speak forthrightly, the next question is yet still.... "so when will YOU make up the lesson?"

ANYWAY, aside from the fact that I am so out to mars with my schedule and I am not eating or sleeping regularly, I know nothing but to rant and hope that I will exhaust myself and finally fall asleep.

I need to do something yet to arrange my December schedule even better so that I don't strung around like thing again next year. I hate this month and people have no idea how upside down my life gets with their mistakes. They listen was glassy christmas shopping eyes.... increasing my bah humbugness.... inciting a personal battle.

I don't like hating Christmas.

JNET

Minding the Boundaries of My Piece of Heaven

I let go of a student today. She was also someone on my forgiveness "stage" during this past weekend's exercise. K had not shown up to her appointments with me for the last three consecutive weeks and during my brief calls with her all she could say..

"Let's reschedule, I'll call you later." Later came and passed. I sat in my teaching studio minus my student another week. I left a message on her phone.

"K, I am a bit confused here. I am at the studio and you are not here. Perhaps you are on your way. Please call me." She did not return that call until three weeks later.

She showed up at my home today wishing to resume her lessons and then she wanted to discuss paying me less since she wasn't going to meet me at the studio.

And that is when I got that I had to let her go and that I was giving her her final lesson.

"K, it is true that I must be compensated with money for my time teaching but there is something more valuable than dollars here that needs to be valued and that is time. I teach because I am committed to growth not money. I only want committed students who communicate well with me and want the best for their own life and making sure I have such types of students makes it a pleasure to do what I love and my teaching practice is financially stable and prosperous. You, on the other hand, had shown yourself as questionably committed. I usually refuse to take unstable students and if they want a new chance with me, I don't let them dictate how much my time is worth to me."

And then she told me that I was a bad business person though a very good teacher and that I ought take her money because it was money.

And that's when I showed her the door and told her that she didn't owe me a single cent..

I gave her some options to think about. I don't know if she understood about respecting time and being committed. Perhaps she'll get that lesson down the road when she studies with another. I wished her well as I closed the door.

Am I a bad business person? I think if any of my other students were to witness the exchange, they would be understand. If I had more students like K, I wouldn't have the energy or enthusiasm to continue doing what I love and I would live a life of instablity chasing money in exchange ... for what?

I happily and peaceably had my goodbye with K. I dicate my worth and not someone else and it is up to me to mind my own boundaries to mind my personal piece of heaven.

JNET

Wonder in the Space of Chaos

The black dress found me... Princess K played the fairy god mother by going through her closet and producing the perfect signature of elegance for tomorrow evening's event.

I spent most of the evening at Hangar 8 for a run through of the show. The first part of the hangar was clothed in red velvet, chandeliers above and scenic murals of Venice along the wall.

The room with the stage is even bigger... 30 foot ceilings and there were three huge vehicles hoisting a platform for the lighting crew. Despite the utter madness of machines, a production crew running around and a banquet crew setting up tables, my student had a great time on stage and gracefully handled the evening without being phased. If he is only 13, taking on playing "Clocks" with a full band, jumping onto an electric guitar to rock out a couple of tunes, play a bit of Rodrigo's guitar concerto in a classical guitar trio and then jump off stage onto the dance floor to do some hip hop with three professional dancers before his 400 guests, I can only be impressed and excited for his future. I asked him if he knew any other 12 year olds that worked so hard towards their 13th birthday and he said he knew no one and that he was so excited. He had been keeping all his practice a secret from all his friends telling them that he wants to take them to the moon for his birthday :)

He's already taken me there. In just watching him run through his show despite the challenges of chaos, noisy machines, a couple of dozen people running around with questions and instructions, I saw that life can yet be graceful and unfettered.

JNET

I Need a Fairy God Mother

My student's bar mitzvah is this Sunday. 400 guests. We have quite a show planned out for the occasion.

The rehearsals are the fun part. I'm the ONLY girl among the private tutors, two guitar tutors from USC who are absolute sweethearts and amazing musicians and three hip hop dance instructors (the Asian guy from Switzerland is my favorite) and my student wants to play matchmaker. I told him it is so difficult to choose. They are all good looking and extremely talented.

It's our final week before the big party and so we rehearsing every single night. I didnt' know about the 400 guests part until a few days ago. I knew it was going to be a big event but I didn't give much thought beyond teaching my student his music to prepare him to play with a 9 piece band. Mentally preparing him and musically preparing him was my priority... and now I've realized that I don't own anything suitable to wear.

"Wear black." was the request of my student's mom. All my recital gowns are purples, greens.. COLORS.. And the handy basic black cocktails dresses I have are TOO BASIC. Pearls won't save me here.

The dad took me aside, his head a bit spinning from the preparations. I understood then that "think black" was a bit ambiguous. I need to think black, think smart, think conservative, "no bare arms", think posh, think think.. think.

I think I need a lie down. I'm the girl who prefers pajamas over anything. I don't have the patience to shop, most everything I wear is a gift and the pieces I've purchased have a story behind them. But I've been on a mission... I found a pretty skirt, girlish and modest but the price tag was $498!!! The little sweater top that was next to it was the same price. EEEK. I walked away before I fell in love with the outfit any further.

I had to get to rehearsal anyway. I have a random hour or so each day to figure out the dress puzzle until Sunday. I will be the only girl onstage. Except during the dessert hour... the 5 year old sister will be playing a couple of nursery songs and I will accompany her then as well.

For now, this Cinderella is NAKED but hopes to find something SOON.

JNET

This Is Your Future

As my students get the basics of reading music, I enjoy showing them what the big kids play or myself.

"This is your future." I tell them. "It's all just a dance for your fingers. I'm here to help you train yourself to know patterns so that this doesn't look like ants on a page."

And so continues the journey of mistakes, recognizing them and becoming graceful to land where we really intended. We'll fall in love with compositions and eat them up. We'll pursue things we love in theory and have to choose to get over the hunger for easy gratification and take on the journey.

Foregoing the company and distractions of easier paths of fun, engaged in playing with a symbolic system. I think it's a worthy meditation.

My music tutors taught me that conquering these ants on the paper is not about ego rather it's about putting the ego aside in order to create art. To move forward from a place of not understanding becomes an exciting starting point having created value to a future goal.

When I see my student's eyes light up in their willingness to take on their future, I am in the presence of possibility.

JNET

Lessons My Piano Taught Me

by **Anna.

When I was little I joked that I was going to marry my piano when I grow up...

Now that I'm a grown up, let me tell you what the piano has taught me about love.

I am free to express myself... to love is to breathe life and passion to what I am saying and playing..

It's a choice to play.

Grow sensitive to the subtleties within the pieces I play. Love the details I discover.

I don't need an audience to be in love.

Discipline and practice is interesting and life changing. I learn how to make a stand for myself and not get swept away by circumstances.

Quality of life improves by putting value to time. It's not about quantity but rather quality.

Be present with the moment. Enjoy the NOW for what it is. Time keeps moving and a new measure is always at hand.

Mistakes are not more important than the intention of creating something worthy.


I find that I will always return to what I love because my voice makes sense through them. I feel free, alive and real.

JNET

Unjading My Mind

I got caught up in a maelstrom of work this week with a couple of hiccups with some folks and found myself wishing to have a good cry yesterday; but I didn't have time. I had work to do, work that I love and care about and didn't have space for self-pity.

But I found myself in spaces where I met with conversations where people had time to indulge self-pity, anger and frustration. And I saw from my perspective the hamster wheel they were exercising their thoughts in to keep the world that they knew so well in tip top shape. And I became present to some habits I do to unjade myself.

I call my brother, Wookie, for a reason. He loves to argue and blare on and create a ruckus. He used to bug me beyond end and I would keep my visits with him brief because I don't share his love and style for debate. Many times I left in tears.

He would be like a brush fire. If he got lit up over something, his mood would spread through out the family. And we pondered over what do with him... We loved him and just resigned to 'that's just the way he is' thinking and just brace up for the next hurricane.

That doesn't quite work towards being connected. It only worked towards tolerating and accepting... and creating a deep meaningful relationship was a bit tricky. So, a couple years ago I decided to start calling him Wookie whenever he started to roar. And he was amused after I told him that he was just a big fluffy wookie with a big roar that didn't mean any harm. Everyone calls him Wookie now and he's enjoying his role as fluffy guy that now roars very rarely.. We're great friends now and we can love each other without stepping on each other.

This came about through the coaching of a friend who taught me that my listening of someone created them. Because I used to listen to my brother as a pain in the ass.. that is exactly what he was.... NO LONGER :)

Many tell me that the "industry" is awful, back-stabbing, vindictive where IF slavery was legal... Hollywood would be the biggest lobbyist. Yes, there are funky people here and living in an image obsessed town makes for some freaky social dynamics and neurosis. Some people experience feels like slavery and prostitution and it kills the spirit of creativity.

But in adjusting my listening in creating the people that surround my work, I end up meeting a lot of remarkable people who want to do great things and have a lot of love for people and the world. I don't have room or vision to have slave drivers and pimps in my life and work.

Maybe I'm naive. But I think most people want to do good and appear good before showing themselves as ugly and a putz... and those that have a knack to being absolute messes with their lives and the lives around them reveal only more about themselves.

In requesting the best that my students can be towards their work and towards relating to me, I get it... I'm not creating this out of nothing. I'm creating this from the possibility of greatness that everyone has and wants to play with. The meaning of the word 'educate' is to bring out innate capability.

And perhaps to unjade my mind and my world, it is my hope to educate everyone's greatness out from those who cross my path.

Who's playing the same game with their life?

JNET

Drop the Student ... Keep the Student

I feel like I need to be scraped off the ceiling... or maybe I need just a very strong cocktail.

I just finished teaching my "challenge student"... the one that I keep saying I want to drop but his parents keep pleading that I have a bit more patience for their ultra - perfectionist (but really a sweet heart) of a kid.

I told the mom that I would love to coach her child but he has to learn how to listen and calm himself down for the moment he gets a note wrong he has a total meltdown. He becomes unteachable. I don't have a single student that self-deprecates like he does and is unwilling to accept mistakes. He is only 10 right now. I told the mom that if her son can't get a handle on controlling himself and always needs others to clean up for him, she is doing him no justice.

After teaching him, I am flattened. My friends commented that they feel depressed after hearing about my lesson. He's been high strung these past several weeks and I hate to begin my weekend freedom after a cadence of this child.

It happens... difficult people... difficult situations... I don't know how to reason and reach to the child and I know it is not personal... The mother was very sweet and apologetic as well as very embarrassed that I had to witness her child have one of his "moods."

So I didn't "fire" him as I planned but the parents really saw a display of behavior that was quite a piece of work. He is given permission to be unruly and irresponsible. So I fired his parents instead...

I told her that if her son really wants me to coach him; he'll have to make the appointments and call me himself to tell me his schedule. I don't know the stresses of his life and the only thing I can offer as a chance is that I'd like her son to take responsibility for owning his time with me. Will he call? I don't know. I don't think 10 years old is too young to begin learning to make a stand ...that if you value something that you actually make it happen and become the kind of person that can make things happen... You can't demand parents to make everything happen and then be irresponsible with privileges.

We shall see.....

JNET

MUSIC: Simply Simpsonic Music!

I had the pleasure of joining the Audio Engineering Society for a great presentation by the creative team responsible for composing, recording, mixing and editing the music for "The Simpsons" thanks to an invitation of my dear friend, R. She is responsible for putting the event together.

Thanks to the efforts of R. the female attendance for an audio engineers' event rose and will grow:)

My interest as a music educator was to learn about the world of my friends and colleagues. I may not choose to be in the studio but I wanted to see what possibilities I can bring to my students.

Alf Clausen (composer), Rick Riccio (recording engineer) and Chris Ledesma (music editor) were excellent speakers. They were inspirational in sharing their work which they love. I wished that I had brought a couple of my high school music students. I think they would have understood quite a bit and learned a lot of new technical terms. I think they would have been inspired by the persistence and impeccability of how this successful collaborative team work and relate...

This evening I learned how a cartoon is born and the technical and creative intricacies that goes into it. Alf Clausen shared how the animators had a scene in mind with Homer playing an instrument and had requested to be present as the soloist played so that the cartoon movements matched what the musician was doing. The care and level of impeccability is admirable.

Sometimes a piece incorporates more than a dozen cartoon characters. Music is written sensitive to the diverse vocal ranges and personalities. As the composer beautifully described it, it's like putting together a "New York Times crossword puzzle".

So putting this puzzle is quite a masterful game and I was present to the respect and trust he had for all involved to help make his music happen. There is no room for second guessing and no time for wondering if it's good enough. That was the sentiment of the creative minds on the stage. When you are committed and doing something you love, you make Emmy-award winning work.

Chris Ledesma (music editor) thought he wanted to be a conductor when he was in music school but was bitten by the music editing bug. His persistence, attention to detail and commitment to showing up to life created the life he enjoys. He's edited every episode of "The Simpsons." He is another proud papa who loves his work.

Rick Riccio (audio engineer) also shared. I thought he was a creative and innovative thinker having designed sound systems and sound studios as well as mixing and recording. In listening to him and his friends onstage, I was present to mastery and flow.

I am happy to visit with the Audio Engineering Society. R. hosted a great event that I think a couple of my students would have enjoyed it as well as been inspired. I will be sharing with them what I learned and maybe will invite a couple should a suitable open event comes up.

The cartoons were hilarious, the process of creating the music a pleasure to learn about and I saw that remarkable work is put together by remarkable people.

JNET