The Extraordinary Mind That Speaks to Me

The walls at the car wash, restaurants, and burrito stand all have the ubiquitous actor/model headshot row.

You want to have a heart-to-heart, get-deep conversation?

Bonding over sharing a shortcut through the canyons, recommending a wine bar, raving over a massage therapist, yoga class or place to get your hair done or get a pedicure is just the icebreaker.

Yet, I manage to be surprised by the artic chill I meet upon some people who cooly embrace the ice talk. I am surrounded by beautiful people and yet experience no warm fuzzies in the common-ness of hotness.

Come on now, I am listening... patiently as if waiting upon an instrument that is being tuned, curious to hear its voice. But I am not here because of the instrument, the repetoire, or the stage. I am here for the artist; the musician.

Who sits unaware of an audience. Tuning without listening and practicing without passion...

I don't want to be that way. There are some days when constant reminding toward awareness is necessary... like when you go to your room to grab something and you have to keep telling yourself on your way to remember.. remember... remember...

Remember to break through the ice... remember to breath and enjoy the warmth of and beat of one's heart... and remember to sing one's song...and remember to bow...

Speaking poetry through one's eyes, floating a sweet song upon souls that welcome become captivated....to enjoy every moment leading to the curtain call.

It's an experience to enjoy the applause and the warmth, say thank you, say I love yous, and happily walk away.

And yet, I meet people who want to experience that and yet they keep their art distant, their audience confused and guessing. They want applause and encores in enchange for silence. This is being a headshot and nothing more.

Do you grace walls or do you grace lives?

These are some of the thoughts kicking in my mind for Saturday morning's podcast or Romancing LA. Call in to share your thoughts.

JNET

More Than a Headshot

He is beautiful... talented.. educated.

It was sad and yet I felt it was too easy to walk away.... slightly charmed but uninspired. Was it me? Was it him?

Maybe I made him nervous.. But isn't everyone nervous a tad before getting on stage? I sometimes feel absolutely ILL.

How did he translate before my eyes? Imagine a photographer having a beautiful subject pose... but the subject had no poise. Imagine a dance but the music couldn't be decided upon. Imagine a painting, finished but not framed.

I took many "pictures" and each moment seemed to be nuanced by shades of color that surprised me. Ambition colored with cynicism. Visions of wealth and success jaded by a disdain for people who are wealthy and successful. And I wondered if he was listening to himself... how "generous" he was with sharing his uncertainties... how stingy he was with celebrating his dreams.

The stage is cleared again... I learned lessons on this particularly cold stage... people are fascinating... delicate ... strong...

I want to see beyond the headshot.

JNET

Turning Three

Jnetsworld is a toddler and is definitely getting into new things, exploring the world of possibilities. Thanks to many encouraging words from readers, the love and support has expanded me to stretch beyond writing. I am now practicing my public speaking at Romancing LA.

***********************************
FATHER WOLF: "Jnet shares of her self and we are the richer for it."

GABRIEL2178: "Another fantastic example of a stumbler with a point of view who knows how to get it across. Fantastic photos and a real insite into a fantastic mind. A must for people looking for real people on the internet."

EVOLUTION RULES: "JNET has a golden heart and writes a lovely, personal journal."

SYNCOPATE: "I feel uncomfortable reading Jnet's pages sometimes. I feel like a voyeur. She tells us of her experiences with life in an intimate manner. She sheds layers of consciousness as one might shed one's clothes. Her desire: to transcend while staying well grounded(?) I could be wrong about that, though. I don't know. She invites you into her world literally (with a direct invitation) and metaphorically (through her photos, drawings, and prose). We learn that she plays Chopin. I wonder if she plays Liszt's "transcendental" etudes... If you are willing to challenge your "self," visit her page."

OLE-TIMER: "Intellectual while loving the beautiful. Piercingly, enticing with her open mind, but concealing herself very successfully from the lackadaisical."

DROIDYDOO: "This blog will fire your neurons and drop your jaw :)"

**************************

Jnetsworld was borne to express the possibility of UNSTOPPABLE love, courage, full self expression and transformation. This is where I journal how Life is beautiful especially when it gets messy and chaotic. This is where I practice and strategize being a negativity slayer and this is where I find fellow lemonade makers and rugged angels about the world.

"The Future Begins Here" philosophy we share celebrates owning happiness despite circumstance. Life is a work of art. The first year I blogged and wrote poetry and kept my words to myself. The second year I found a community of friends at stumbleupon. And on this third year, I am exploring my voice with a weekly podcast.

Thanks for celebrating three years of blogging. This toddling blog appreciates the world of encouragements. My beautiful world gets more gorgeous meeting kin spirits miles away.

Jnetsworld is an "ode to joy". Thanks for being part of my music.

JNET

A Stretch Away From Solitude

Slow... slow ... quick quick ... slow..

Next week is my last week of tango class.. the instructor is going to switch it up to Viennese Waltz to mix things up for a bit this November. So many fun things to do... and so little time!

I am enjoying my teaching practice. My students are a pleasure to be with and I feel energized after my teaching sessions. If I could just only live on music, writing and dance....

I suppose I tried and did not succeed. Not having any hungers other than for art, I pushed my body where I mentally could go but not with my body. I fainted while teaching and spent last weekend in the hospital on a mandatory bedrest.

This week of "taking it easy" has been challenging. ALL of my friends live similarily FULL and intensive lives. How does one slow down on a lifestyle that has been set since before high school? I never was the type to sit down to a ritual of watching television for a couple hours a day. I've ALWAYS had rehearsals or some sort of practicing, reading or projects to immerse myself into....

Today is Sunday...a do nothing day.... I'm skipping out of attending rehearsal and I'm going to enjoy quiet and relaxation... Maybe enjoy a good laugh with a friend or even watch a funny movie :)

Slow... slow... quick quick... slow...

Enjoying the slow parts dancing with life....

JNET

A League of Angels

MOM: "Everyone has a guardian angel looking after them. Do you pray to your guardian angel?"

JNET: "I don't have a guardian angel, Mom, I have a league of angels."

I didn't know that by the end of the weekend, God was going to tickle me again and prove that my league was looking out for me.

Should I go down to San Diego for my niece's birthday for a second consecutive weekend away from home? I called her and asked about her plans. Will she be too busy with her friend, I wondered. The question was easily cleared with a phone call to her. She wanted me to be there.

And so I purchased another set of train tickets and planned for a nice Friday evening ride staring at cars in traffic while I whisked by.

Friday night came but my 7:18pm train didn't. An incident up the track was delaying my train. It was a cold night and I hadn't prepared for sitting out in the evening cold. I made friends with my fellow popsicles and after a third call to Amtrak, we all decided to abandon hanging out for the train and sit indoors and weigh in our respective options. I put my bags in my car and called my brother.

R: "Maybe you can catch a 6am train to get here in the morning."

JNET: "Ahh, I still have to figure out who can drop me off at the station at that hour and I don't know if the subway is running that early in the morning. Let me go out and ask these folks here what they are planning."

A couple of guys decided they were going to hop in a cab and head downtown and hope they can fit into a 10pm train. I didn't think twice and ran to my car, retrieved my bags and got into the cab. We got to Union Station and saw a healthy line growing for the same train ride. But my new friends and I were confident to get a seat in business class and be able to relax. They generously paid my taxi fare.

When I got to the ticket booth I realized that I no longer had my ticket on me. I had lost them somewhere en route to Union Station. I ran out to check the street. A couple of security people asked around to help me out and I returned to the booth empty-handed. My traveling friends also went out to have a go at searching for my ticket.

Amtrak has a no-refund policy on lost tickets. You have to produce a ticket to get a refund. It doesn't matter IF you've just bought the ticket from them and they got swallowed by the hungry person next to you right in front of them. You HAVE to produce a ticket.

I decided that the evening was to only get better. People lose money all the time on their travels. People lose a lot more in Vegas in the name of FUN. If I was to consider my gamble for my niece than I figured that was a game worth claiming a win on.

And so I paid another 100 dollars and bought around round trip to San Diego and rolled in safely by 1am to enjoy lava cake and ice cream with my niece. I woke up by 7:30am the next morning and broadcasted my blogradio show by 9am.... and enjoyed the rest of the weekend celebrating with family.

And I was back on the a train Sunday afternoon at 4pm. I arrived back at Glendale and a man called my name when I got off the train.

Stranger: "Are you JNET?"

Being the only female around and being JNET, it was hard to ignore a direct question from a stranger.

JNET: "Yes, I am JNET."

Stranger: "Good, here's your tickets that you lost on the ground last Friday. I didn't know any way to contact you. I called Amtrak and couldn't get any info on you. Here." he handed the tickets to me. "You can call and get your refund."

JNET: "Thanks! Wow... thanks."

I shook his hand and was amazed to meet another rugged angel in Los Angeles. My hands were full and so I dashed off to my car and put my things away. I wasn't away for even two minutes that when I turned around to search for him, the stranger was not to be found.

Another angel, part of the league, disappeared into the evening... but definitely not without leaving quite a mark on my night. Again, hit by the weight of a feather.

JNET

Snake At A Picnic

A venomous conversation.

That is what it felt like to be in the presence of J, a woman who wrapped herself around a person tightly before biting. I ran away for safety from her 'friendship' years ago and was happy when she moved out of state.

She found me again this past weekend at a picnic she knew I would be attending. She came upon me like a snake in the grass. First, she sat among my cousins and made trivial conversation and then asked about me.

"J is looking for you. She was asking questions." Several people approached me when I arrived to the event.

I eventually spotted her and unfortunately found I was already targeted. Not wishing to have to entertain a conversation with someone I had clearly broken ties with, I wondered if she would be able to read that I didn't exactly have a welcome mat posted in front of me for her.

Wouldn't half a dozen people sent to me as messengers and ignored be clue enough?

It wasn't. After all her messengers failed at their mission, she took it upon herself to force an audience with me.

J: "I've been asking around for you."

JNET: "I know."

J: "It's been several years and I am not sure what exactly happened between the two of us but I wanted to thank you for one of the best summers I had in my life."

JNET: "Hmmfff"

If you didn't notice before, snakes smile. Her side of the conversation consisted of flattery and self-promotion.

I did not ask about her life and I was keen on keeping mine private from her. Any good friend of mine knows that I am free and at ease if I am expressing myself freely and enthusiastically as well as asking lots of questions to share conversation. She met a guarded JNET and did not care nor did she keep in memory the many things she had done to betray me in the past that warranted:

My roommate putting her foot down that J was not a welcome guest for she felt J had ulterior motives.

Several close friends approaching me with concerns about my "family friend's" questionable behaviors behind my back.

And finally, long distance calls from business associates, with their concerns about my friend who was saying things to undermine my reputation. This was not the way I like things in my grown up world and J was a bully in a playground. Luckily, I have very protective friends and associates and I am respected.

J and I ended our connection after she admitted her lack of integrity. She became very angry with me when I wouldn't forgive her pretensions and after I told her I could not support her indiscretions. Even if I took away everyone else's testimonies against her, the insults she vigorously and personally gave were enough to condemn her.

And so she was ousted... clearly. Within a space of 6 months, she had released so much poison in my world that I could swim in it and my friends too.

That I was somewhat surprised at her "innocence" in asking where our friendship had gone. The way she talked to me did not surprise me after. She did try to wrap herself around me and take a squeeze. Snakes do smile and they bite out of fear.

Fearful, smiling creatures are dangerous. J was looking for a hot, sunny spot to bathe herself in and found an artic shade. Then she tried to bite hoping to get my blood going but I deflected her and didn't want any drama in front of my family.

"Have a nice life." She bade me. "Have a nice life." She bade my mother. "Have a nice life." She bade my cousins.

And then she slithered away.

JNET