Born to Defy Nature

by .-).

I don't swim against the current and I don't allow myself to to be taken with it. I float in the suspension.

It's a beautiful place.

And yet I'm not on a mindless Pollyanna track and I'm not on an artifically sustained chemical alteration of some sort. I may come across as absent-minded or enigmatic in finding total sense of peace not in the linear design of thought but rather in the abstraction of reality.

And so my urgencies have a different flavor in wishing to be my signature that only wants to be like a spontaneous breeze making souls laugh and molecules transform into a being-ness that knows eternity and the profoundness of micro-tones.

And I am aware of my weaknesses ... I am wary at containing the noise of my inner wars, knowing that sometimes that inner voice is not on my side for peace and thrives on imposing. The defeats of the multitudes of inner wars grieves my heart. I am not ignorant of the pain and tears. But I will defy the current in my stillness. The cynic wants to scream that the age of miracles is gone. People are mansions of thought, navigating through the noise... to find that place where they are neither against the current nor taken along.

Everyone was born to defy nature, to rise about the limits of thought and design. Is that not why freedom and truth is valued?

Understanding is possible in the stillness... paradoxically sobering and dizzying.

Olmayacak þey bir insanýn bir insaný anlamasý.

What an impossible thing,
that one individual should in fact understand another.

Attila Ilhan

Creating From a Place of Listening

by Thomas Hawk.

When truth is the holy grail of life, how does one look at things? What shall I think of that before my eyes?

Certain declarations are ringing in my mind. And though I am a lover of words, I do not wish to be slave of them and so I listen to that which speak louder than words.

shhh

And though I honor and respect actions that create results, I also do not wish to be an easy audience at the whim of vanity nor hand my soul off by piecemeal to insatiable appetites.

What are the words of a great mind or poet to me if in the pauses of their sentences I hear noise?

What do magnificient actions mean to me when they are done to impress passing audiences and I spy the contempt thought hidden behind the stage curtains?

I see things in the silence.

I spy that possession is valued over understanding. I spy that berating speaks too easily and befriending is seen as too much work.

In the sighs, I listen for the whys...

These declarations?

I am listening.

Breathe But Don't Inhale

by .-).

After an afternoon of moving some more things that no longer belonged in my space, i was well into the thought of seeing what else i had yet to take down and put away.

I felt on purpose, on track and slowly being unburdened in my urgency to clear.... in the awareness, I saw the past trail of distraction and knew to be vigilant in not being swept into the world's array of drama.

Breathe... but don't inhale.

The noise, the sparkles, the cacophony of glitter and game is heady stuff... but is it what I want to be mindful over? Shall i stand to be taken in by the undertow of emotion when I just want to stand in the experience of appreciating the given moment and floating in the warmth of its simplicity?

I spent the last several evenings with the moon and told my secrets to it, petitioning forgiveness for my wispy humanity and not taking on the divine powers of my design.

Are we not made to be creators?

And so I am going through my life and choosing to make it more like a temple for peace instead of a theater for indulgences. There are no friendships to be had with fickleness and its mission for flavor of the season; loyalties find lasting homes with wisdom.

Experience with a signature of honor and dignity... choreographed into life with grace and sublime timing is the treasure I am searching for.

JNET

From The Heart

by BidWiya.

I got to the point where I had to say STOP THE WORLD, I NEED TO GET OFF!!

and then I found my silence.

Ssshhhh.

I'm listening.

I'm listening to hear myself and find from what place am I speaking my future into.

and then I understand better from what place I've been listening to others speak to me and I better understand my life through them.

Ssshhh...

I'm trying to listen to those voices that speak at the most quiet tones. That voice that we think is a secret to everyone but really isn't... only can it be heard by a serendipitious cicle...

Of fellow travellers and journey adventure types recognizing one another's humanity and weaving the threads of soul connectedness into the universe..

Made up of mult-verses and points of interest...

In the end, it wasn't about stopping the world and getting off.. rather it was about stopping myself and being there...

to listen....

Sshhhh.....

JNET

Adoring Albeniz

by NebulaskiN.

I planned on spending the weekend with Albeniz. I wanted to dig into Evocacion, a difficult piece that would demand that my head, heart and soul connect together... something that I have not had together in harmony for a while.

I began memorizing Cordoba as well and it felt good to feel it.

I adore Albeniz's music because it makes me think of the mathematician. It is what he plays for me on his guitar when I am with him as well as his own compositions.

If what we believe about the multi-dimensions of reality is true, then I want to believe that when I play Albeniz; the universe will tell him that I am saying hello to him. I don't know if it's romantic rubbish. I just know how he is and all I can do is trust it as he disappears into his work. Does he hear me in the subleties of his silent moments and thinks of me?

Meanwhile life has given me one heck of a road to travel and the lessons are challenging. Freedom and free will is quite a gift and I wonder how I might best navigate with the choices and take on the lessons with integrity.

I bring all things side to side to my defintions of truth and love and in the light of it I am looking for what makes me see God in the face of Life. I'm looking for that divine smile that I can feel in my soul. I know those moments of bliss, they teach me how wonderful life is and that i am never alone.

Sometimes it is not easy to see God's face in the path. I've been in a box trapped with my fears and insecurities. Welcome to the real world! God is for children and weak-minded adults! Get with the program, life is dirty and cold!

Welcome to the real world?

But that is only one strand of reality... and not a very powerful one to want to keep up in the game of life.

If I spend a day listening to Albeniz, Bach, Rachmaninoff, I only hear divine genius and it is enough for me to believe in heavenly realms. And that is another strand of reality; the beauty of genius.

And then I know life is also absolutely empty and meaningless and that it is I that is the definer and creator of my world. Welcome to MY world where notes, words, images, numbers are passcodes opening secret doors. Thinking, critical mass, opinions of reality, string theory, sophrosyne, conversations about God and Now, tipping points onto realms of heaven, love and devotion is the language of my kingdom.

I felt graced this weekend in resolving to connect to "higher power". From my silence and brokenness, my voice was heard and friends spontaneouly showed up at my door to say hellos and say that they missed me and wanted to share some time together.

It was a good time between Albeniz and friends. I was able to share not from tiredness and frustration... rather from a place where I felt like a ruler of my life again.

Uncomplicating Myself

by Ragnorak.

I've been foolish in being attached to stories. i was surrounded by noise and learned to become noisy. But that is not the way that I wish to be nor live.

Any intelligent fool can make up a story and make things bigger, complex, and violent to make themselves a beggar for attention and sacrifice self-respect, bringing no joy or peace to the world.

I found myself after some time bouncing from the frenetic energy of taking on compromise.

I want to be like this candle...something that burns quietly, brightly, and simply.

I woke up this morning feeling free and uncomplicated, unhindered but yet a little tired from my arduous journey to myself. It was easy to get lost in the noise by answering its demands.

I just celebrated freedom this week. Now... I want to practice being uncompromising and on purpose. i had dreams and ambitions before I got tired by distraction and became a slave to fear and insecurity.

I will begin remembering them now.

Out of My Mind and Back Again

by ahsup.

What is this suffering that I am going through?

I read through last year's blog entries and gathered that I have lost my mind... in other words, I have relinquished my power and needed to reclaim it.

I've allowed people to take advantage my living space, my time... my head space. I've been off-track by allowing the dynamics of different personalities sway me. I wanted to be open-minded, tolerant and expand my experience but found the gains incongruent to who I am.

It was a learning experience. In not defining the boundaries, I got bulldozed over, in venturing outside of my world, I got lost in unfamiliar terrain.

I've continued writing for the sake of practice and have felt contempt toward the way my thoughts have been. Where does this come from? I wondered with disappointment at my weakness.

Plutarch came to mind today...

If you live with a cripple, you will learn to limp.

This is a quote that I KNOW but hadn't been thinking clearly to shake my malaise earlier. I had been swept up in overwhelming dramas that just had me in a hypnotic state.

Imagine having the television set on ALL THE TIME with the volume up high and all you watched was HYPE.

Now that the "image" no longer works on me, I'm free. I'm throwing out the "television set" and want to set my eyes again on my goals... I need to think about my dreams and stop listening to the wow monologues given by the sparklies that want to take me on as their audience.

I am excited about life again... to run the race that i am meant to run.

JNET

37 Cellos

Beautiful :)

Deconstructing JNET Part Two

by HD .

I retreated into my head and found it entertaining how I met with others who swore the sky was falling in their world. It was hard to escape. I wish I could disappear sometimes. I needed to take stock of my life and some serious questions in mind, as well as other things that happen to be MY LIFE... meanwhile, I was being demanded for my opinions on petty dramas.

I guess some people can't decide what color phone to buy and consider that a crisis. Since I'm a cold, heartless and non-sympathetic snob, I decided to close the lines of credit to these well-meaning acquaintances who had no clue of boundaries. I like to be involved with people's lives but to a certain point.

It's not my style. I prefer thinking on my own or writing. Others prefer talking to a couple of close friends and yet others need to tell 20 of their best friends.

Maybe some people don't realize how exhausting they are upon others. When you hear someone's voice continuously in your head blaring away and the adrenaline rush is over their stressful drama and you have to grab at scraps of space to have a thought to yourself, you know it's not a good situation. I have on particular person who's habitually interrupted me so much that I even hear her voice interrupting my thinking.

I'm going crazy... ugggh

I have some stuff to sort out in my own head...

And so I've pushed DELETE on certain numbers and took stock of who my real friends are. I had to accept that I'm being USED by some butter knife killers; friendly sorts who do funny things that make me feel bad about myself as an afterthought or who's opinion don't help me feel powerful about my world...

It's bad enough I have myself to contend with. Processing my stuff is enough.

These acqauintances or fair weather friends no longer have a space in Jnetsworld. If it is a misunderstanding, we'll sort it out... but if I'm reading things correctly, everything is really arbitrary and life will go on.

JNET