DANCE: Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater

I stepped out from the blur of my life this past weekend to attend a performance of the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater at the Dorothy Chandler Pavillion.

My favorite dance piece was "Caught" choreographed by David Parsons in 1982. It was so rich in expression for me that I was in tears through out most of the piece. The stage is mostly dark except for a strobe light in which the dancer seems to defy gravity doing leaps to the flashing light. The practice for perfect timing and stamina to create this work was awe-inspiring. It was like watching a dream about flying. The dancer was up with the flashes posing in mid-air within the splitting of seconds to be in the air with light at the same time.

It was a beautiful and intense piece, rigorous and breathtaking... set to string music that just tore me up... Tore me up!

I am looking forward to more dance performances over the year..

JNET

Kings, Princes and Peasants

by brokodil.

I spent the afternoon with a visiting king today whom I gave the landscape of my mind.

I had been feeling frustrated and unhappy dealing with the nonsense of unnecessary drama that kept on splashing on my shore over the weekend, bringing me to the end of my calm tether.

"Is it not nice to be needed?" he asked.

I was feeling drained from those showing up to my life "needing me" because I am a desirable arbitrary option. I came across a few vampires over the past couple of weeks.

I explained to him that I had a few bumblers that have wandered in through the courtyard and he queried whether I found a growing audience flattering.

"Quite the opposite," I told him.

I am happy with my work and the people in my life that I don't enjoy being told that I am wrong and not open-minded because I don't wish to submit to uninvited attentions.

How can I feel anything but contempt to someone who doesn't know me but desires me and makes demands of me? How can I feel anything but frustration when they don't share with me anything of themselves so that I may appreciate knowing them and want to befriend them?

Would you choose someone who devalues themselves before you; someone that doesn't create value within their self and yet seeks to possess you? Someone, who in their poverty sees a person as a resource to validate their existence and smugly complains that you are not supportive on their terms?

How can you be real to someone who can't realize their own self?

Those without strength will have a distorted sense of loyalty.

Would you choose someone who speaks of adventure and great kingdoms yet lives in squalor and excess and tomorrows depend on a hoped for inheritance of identity? Someone who balks at the responsibility of owning and harnessing their future in their hands and sees the generousity of those more powerful than them as an entitlement???

How can you build with someone who doesn't want to build?

What does one create in crowning an unworthy person? Perhaps a lazy, selfish ruler who'll doze through creating anything of value. Or worst, crowning mediocrity gives power to insensitivity that will become an insatiable tyrant. A tyrant who is oppressed by their own fears and insecurities and will manipulate and use force to forge "power."

How does one treat someone who seeks to gain value through relationships rather than express their own value and deepest vision?

How do kings see their world? Princes? Peasants? Perspective makes a world of difference.

JNET

Because the Mystery Exists

Daisy
by Sandra Mora.

A friend hinted to suggesting that perhaps some things should remain out of jnetsworld in order to remain part of a special and mysterious world.

I have my ways of keeping some things mysterious. I never post pictures of my love interests. But I do post about them.

Why? Won't it destroy the mystery and mysticism? To that I say what is there that can hurt what is transcendent? I write because I want to declare that the mystery exists. I write as if I've gone to a beautiful place and this is my log of the experience and the amazing people.

Not everything nor everyone is bloggable for jnetsworld. This blog was created to log the manifestation of a dream future and so the persons mentioned herein are very special.

It is my royal court... of dignitaries from other kingdoms that come to gift my life with their existence. I have great friends.. loyal friends. I am loved by people who are powerful and generous.

Writing does not destroy the mystery for me; it celebrates it.

And perhaps, it is my own way to say...

Thank you.... to the universe.

JNET

Unjading My Mind

I got caught up in a maelstrom of work this week with a couple of hiccups with some folks and found myself wishing to have a good cry yesterday; but I didn't have time. I had work to do, work that I love and care about and didn't have space for self-pity.

But I found myself in spaces where I met with conversations where people had time to indulge self-pity, anger and frustration. And I saw from my perspective the hamster wheel they were exercising their thoughts in to keep the world that they knew so well in tip top shape. And I became present to some habits I do to unjade myself.

I call my brother, Wookie, for a reason. He loves to argue and blare on and create a ruckus. He used to bug me beyond end and I would keep my visits with him brief because I don't share his love and style for debate. Many times I left in tears.

He would be like a brush fire. If he got lit up over something, his mood would spread through out the family. And we pondered over what do with him... We loved him and just resigned to 'that's just the way he is' thinking and just brace up for the next hurricane.

That doesn't quite work towards being connected. It only worked towards tolerating and accepting... and creating a deep meaningful relationship was a bit tricky. So, a couple years ago I decided to start calling him Wookie whenever he started to roar. And he was amused after I told him that he was just a big fluffy wookie with a big roar that didn't mean any harm. Everyone calls him Wookie now and he's enjoying his role as fluffy guy that now roars very rarely.. We're great friends now and we can love each other without stepping on each other.

This came about through the coaching of a friend who taught me that my listening of someone created them. Because I used to listen to my brother as a pain in the ass.. that is exactly what he was.... NO LONGER :)

Many tell me that the "industry" is awful, back-stabbing, vindictive where IF slavery was legal... Hollywood would be the biggest lobbyist. Yes, there are funky people here and living in an image obsessed town makes for some freaky social dynamics and neurosis. Some people experience feels like slavery and prostitution and it kills the spirit of creativity.

But in adjusting my listening in creating the people that surround my work, I end up meeting a lot of remarkable people who want to do great things and have a lot of love for people and the world. I don't have room or vision to have slave drivers and pimps in my life and work.

Maybe I'm naive. But I think most people want to do good and appear good before showing themselves as ugly and a putz... and those that have a knack to being absolute messes with their lives and the lives around them reveal only more about themselves.

In requesting the best that my students can be towards their work and towards relating to me, I get it... I'm not creating this out of nothing. I'm creating this from the possibility of greatness that everyone has and wants to play with. The meaning of the word 'educate' is to bring out innate capability.

And perhaps to unjade my mind and my world, it is my hope to educate everyone's greatness out from those who cross my path.

Who's playing the same game with their life?

JNET

Can We Be Friends? Boys & Girls

Hello Friends...

I've disappeared into my work. Despite the fact that I am living crazy hours with TWO fulltime schedules, I am on cloud nine.

I'm getting paid to do what I love... writing and music... and I am working with friends and creating friends. Am I awake or am I dreaming?

I am looking forward to Saturday morning. I have a date with Beethoven. I miss having time to practice and have noticed that my fingers are getting out of shape moving a bit sluggish...

Life has been going a bit fast and the mathematician is in the thick of qualifying exams. In the blur of life, he becomes a bit of a blur in my reality. ARRGGHHH. I am afflicted. I miss him... having a good share of admirers is somewhat amusing but none of them add up to my crush.

I thought of throwing in the proverbial towel over being so utterly affected by sentimental feelings toward E, sitting in my justifications of well so and so is here and now... and he's so and so... The bottom line... they are all so so.... and I can't commit to someone that I feel ambivalent about.

Luckily I am incredibly busy. I have time to take stock of little personal interludes that I fit in tiny pockets of time and I get present to a bit of magnificence. A break to have tea with Mystic E to discuss metaphysics, life, business...and my friendship with ABC to discuss school, music, books and ways of thinking... My "boy friends" are soooo nice.... even though I tell them and sometimes ask them to promise to not go on crushing hard on me. I want to be their gal pal.

Gordonopolous calls me his platonic hot chick friend.
R says I'm a dude in a chick body.

I had a conversation with one of my girlfriends today while going on a hike up Fryman Canyon. I told her that I thought it was healthy to have friendships with guys... Call them pumpkin or sweetie but don't get involved... I think it just teaches guy to think that all female relationships either have to result into some sexy pepsi control dynamics or REJECTION. A connection can also result into a friendship that has loyalty, respect, and fun and endure longer than any love interest of the season. And it's nice not to hang out with girls all the time. So I have a group of friends and we hang out like bestfriends from kindergarten.

Valentine's Day will be interesting. I don't know if I should hide. In my attempts to not build any committed relationships because no one catches my eye like the mathematician, I seem to have created a collection of "friends" vying for a title that I keep saying is not available.

Someone once told me that guys and girls can never be friends... the attraction stuff gets in the way. The paradigm I am coming from is that we can all be friends, have the attraction stuff and make sure that it doesn't get in the way.

Choose friendship! If there is anything special meant to be for me.. it's because I've not only chosen friendship... rather I've chosen to declare someone special to me.

JNET