August: A New Chapter

Laurelwood life is a new canvas.

With the new month, I'm commiting myself to bringing my discipline up a notch. Having the apartment all to myself will be an opportunity for me to get things in order.

I've been so naughty lately drinking "sugar-coated belly wash". I've sworn off soda and will get into a habit of baking if I want my goodies. I hope to remember. I almost bought a fun bottle of fizzy at the market today.

I'm also going to fast and drink more juice and water and keep my meals light until after 6pm. I'll make allowance for the occassion to be with a friend during lunch especially on dance rehearsal days. I will need to eat on days that I'll be especially physically on the go. I figure if I can exercise my powers of self-control at a higher level, I can take on some bigger things with more grace.

So at a healthy distance, I am placing all those mind-altering, mood swinging sugar, caffeine, alcohol and what-nots for me to smile at and say... "I'm in control here."

I will accept chocolate and cookies as gifts :) though I already have enough in... my gift rations should last through the month...

My night owl days need better structure so that I can meet the goals I've set for myself in my writing. I've been having too many restless evenings of mindless wander and whimsy. I could just kick myself. I haven't even written a poem in so long. I used to write a couple a week.

I could continue envisioning myself with disdain, but I think I'm exhausting myself over nonsense that takes up time from being in action.... Thinking in the realm of guilt takes up too much energy.

the game plan of august IS

Being in Action... I want to wake up the next morning and be able to think... wow, I did that yesterday? that's great! And it's not about turning into a hyper-type A, rather I want to approach time with a sense of opportunity to create an expression of myself and not throw away or let it drip drip drip and evaporate before me... not that I'm like that a lot.. .there's room for improvement and getting more aligned with myself.

I'm even interested in seeing where my break-downs and "forgetfullness" will occur... what kinds of stretches I'll allow myself, etc.

And in the clearing, I wonder what Life will open up into if I do become better disciplined, organized, and intentional. so many possilbilities....

I love my life.