SS: Waiting On Inspiration

He loves me... he loves me not yet... he loves me... he loves me not yet...

My muse has been MIA and still I am happy. A moment of missing him and sadness would come across me but a new moment would wash the feelings away.

I stopped writing. Looking at my archives, I see I've gone away for quite awhile. I've come back from my proverbial bermuda triangle where many wacky things occurred. I danced into a new world and gained a couple of new friends.

JNET: "Now if I can only squeeze you two into one person that is irresistibly kissable, then I have found true love."

I battle that side of me that looks upon salt shaker coupledom with skepticism. Isn't my true love "art"? Solitude had been my best friend.... a happy relationship supported by friends likewise engaged in their art, livimg lives that center around work that is synonymous to play and passion. We socialize over rehearsals, concerts, recitals, cd and book release parties... Not anti-social... perhaps just striving to be unencumbered and impatient toward frivolity.

A random day brought a collision of three people to an innocuous game night for Cranium and Catchphrase and a clan was born. Like long-lost bestfriends from third grade reunited finally after college, we tumble; silly and serious... - philosophical conversations segue to a cocktail and a boardgame moves on to practice a bachata. Eclectic and quirky... devoted without the secret oaths and carefree, I'm still not quite sure what's happened.

I absolutely adore C & E. They embrace individualism and balance sensitivity toward a collective connection. Their "distraction" has not deprived me of my art... True, I was not writing and I was not practicing the piano. At first I thought it was because I had lost sight of my muse. Still the thought of the mathematician brings warm feelings of affection over me. The power of mythology prevails. Interestingly, I returned with a new fire to my work, tailoring my time to include a new world and enjoying that I don't have to lose my style of solitude.

He loves me... he loves me not yet... he loves me... he loves me not yet....

Funny, I thought I needed my muse for inspiration... Rather, I'm finding that I am already inspired and enjoying the dynamic of others makes for a more interesting experience for me to express..

JNET

Romancing LA

You would think that after six straight months of doing a blogtalkradio show that a habit had been established. One show a week did not guarantee a habit. I feel off step and chose to dance instead, hitting up the salsa scene, ran around with friends and enjoyed adventures that rendered me unprepared to do my show.

Romancing LA slid to the backseat of my life. And somehow Guilt settled into the passenger seat.

"It's good to take a break." "I want to choose a new time slot." "I only want to do my show if I am well prepared." "I did not have internet access to do my show." "I was busy"

A litany of excuses grew. And then the calls and emails from my friends began...

"How's your show going?" "When's the next show?" "What's going on?"

I missed doing my show and the guilt of separation was hurting. Not only was I not doing a show... I had also taken a break from writing. I was experiencing a whole new world and not writing of it. I had even taken a break from practicing the piano as I threw myself into dance and enjoyed the company of new friends.

There is a place where excuses get exhausted and I got to that place.

And so I decided to return to blogtalkradio by doing a midnight marathon of shows... SEVEN in a row.

What is romancingLA? What is jnetsworld?

Simply put, it is words, pictures, a person putting a tapestry called "Life is beautiful." Struggle opens to resolution... the walk between dark and light. It is a call to fellow rugged angels, people who trek the field of life with a dream to make it a better place knowing that most of the work lies within their self.

Following bliss and blessing the dark times interpreting the moments as lessons along the way. This is what I care about exploring...

How did the SEVEN show marathon go?

Day ONE was dedicated to throwing away excuses....

Day TWO was almost compromised. I had committed to being a guest host on a friend's show, meanwhile, I had planned on attending a dance class. OOPS. It was day two and already the temptation to fall off step. Instead, I attended class, excused myself for an hour to call in my friend's show to speak, and then returned to continue dancing for a couple more hours. I returned home by midnight to host my own show, "Being a Have It All Person," having enough time and mental space to entertain dinner guests and hang out.

Day THREE was threatened as well. I had scheduled a show to be called "Time Management is an Attitude" and thought I would have a good amount of free time to prepare after an afternoon of teaching. I did not plan on friends arriving upon my heels enthusiastic to surprise me with a dinner get together sans surprise guests... Everyone was hungry and on the edge of cranky though pressing forward for fun...

I hosted the show, a bit off the hip, while entertaining friends and playing a board game. It was an exercise in multitasking and having fun in the chaos. I won the board game and learned that if I can do a show in those conditions then "pressure" is simply something I define myself.

Finally Day FOUR managed to be a calm show. And Day FIVE'S "Name Your Distraction" Day SIX's "Waiting on Inspiration" crescendo'd into Day SEVEN'S "Habit Factory." Each day was met with a challenge to NOT do the show...

My cell phone died... I borrowed my friends.... Friends wanted to go out for a drink.... I met them for last call. Mom requested to not do midnight shows... and my friends requested that I steer away from doing midnight shows on Fridays and Saturdays.

All obstacles were handled... not without some effort. And I have resolved that doing a weekly show is not enough practice to grow an audience. I am going to do a show every Monday and Wednesday at midnight and then an additional 12pm or 12am show on either Friday or Saturday.

Meanwhile that will spur me to write more and be organized... We'll see where this experiment goes.

JNET

POEM: Lost Poet

I wandered and didn't realize I was lost
Laughed the days away
Daisy chains and wild bouquets
Bloomed and I have forgotten the joke

Can I retrace my steps and discover again
The altar of my inspiration?
Was it your love or was it my love
That was the source of salvation?

A lingering cadence, a quiet candle
Keeps a corner warm for what?
To remind me of from where I have come
Or to reprimand me of what I have not?

Quiet muse, never been forgotten muse
Your favor I seek and dream to find anew
Every evening passed, I sent word to you
Has this poet strayed far from view?

My words swayed with songs,
My hands spoke through new limbs
Brought to movement by a humble muse
I danced and laughed with you in mind
Was it my pen that kept us true?

Dear muse, accept my poem...

A lingering cadence, a quiet candle
Keeps a corner warm for what?
To remind me of from where I have come
Or to reprimand me of what I have not?

What is poet without a muse, and a muse without its poet?

Copyright ©2008 J. R. Hollyday

Nightcaps and Pajamas

We didn't quite cute it out in baby dolls...

The flash of fun had to take a new turn... Katana's with friends for dinner, dancing and drinks at Social, ... lots of haha and rah rah...

After a week of miscellaneous wildness and art galleries, I was ready to jump off the Hollywood chic wagon and walk again to my own drum beat.. This little kitty girl was longing for the comfort and security of home and pajamas.

I enjoyed the beginning of a quiet evening with my roommate B and pal E for dinner - happy to cook and play board games at home. And then a bit of air gushed in from Beverly Hills through the front door.

C: "Jnet, let's go out."

JNET: "I'm not going anywhere unless I can wear my pajamas."

C: "Fine."

My friend had just returned from a gala event, dressed in silk black dress, jewelry and finery from Beverly Hills' boutiques. I was in no mood to join the hip masses and my mind was made. I had already played dress up all week. I'd rather clean my room or laze about home in pink pajamas than have another martini. I wore my strong will on well and my friend knew how to circumvent it.

C: "May I have a pair of your pajamas? We can rock out in pjs?"

I handed her a pair of flannel red and white plaid pjs and a red shirt and continued my board game.

B: "Hey, my friend invited us over to the pub where she is working. She's a sweetheart. We have to go say hello to her."

JNET: "Then I guess that's where we're going in pajamas."

Pajamas, jewelry and high heels. We did not wear baby dolls. We wore the stuff you wear to summer camp... the stuff you wear when going on holiday with grandma and the family... bumped up with bling and high heels.

It was a good mind exercise to say the least. Being out with friends that were charmed by our fashion expression was good. Security at the pub just wanted to make sure to check out ids and we stood in line with our friends and fellow humans waiting to enter the pub. Though I would've preferred home and a boardgame, the novelty of styling it in comfort amused me.

Everyone that talked to us at the bar didn't realize we were wearing pjs. We toasted, we laughed, we talked, we danced.... and after a few drinks, another social call was on the schedule. I didn't get home until after 5:30am...

And it was nice to literally be ready for bed.

We ought to have pajama nights... Casual Friday at the office is blase... Pajama night out in the town might be interesting... maybe everyone would be less uptight.... For certain everyone will be much warmer.

Maybe next time I'll wear the red ones with little cartoon samurai characters... But which shoes and earrings????

Hmmmm....

JNET