Perhaps I am too pragmatic for romance. My passions seem to follow notes and words. Perhaps if I met a musician with a flair with words... or a wordsmith who adored music... or something in between.
I know it's all my fault. All the sweet attentions I get from my suitors.. (I don't do the boyfriend thing... instead...doing the fall in love by centrifugal force.. gaining fascinating observations!)
I find myself enjoying a book as better company or my piano. My patient admirers chuckle to themselves as they bump up against theirselves in dealing with me.
But perhaps that is the beauty of the process. I learn about a few wonderful people. Being mindful not to wear on dating pretense, I am happy with mutual admiration and being platonic.
I always find myself thankful to be able to say goodnight and close the door. It would not be a good thing to be distracted by something that doesn't inspire me. Romance is not a good place to practice "charity." It seems to be the way of many though... to give love to neediness in order to be "generous".... and then walk away saying "I never loved her."
As much as I love my solitude, I do wonder if I could sanely share a happy silence with someone to punctuate special moments with.... What I would do though to find someone absolutely engaging and endearing... someone to admire and celebrate. I would like to find someone to promise a safe place who'll not wish to ever consider being reckless with my heart nor others.
Oh well... the future has yet to unfold... I suppose I'm saving my kisses until then.
JNET
I just did finish reading your entry JNet. Very deeply touching ~ to me it represents the exploration of the inner self that few people we know care to focus on for long. It seems that hormones & biological imperatives take precedence over knowing ones self.
ReplyDeleteAll natural, of course, but knowing ones self, and then engaging fully with another in the way you describe... certainly a dream I've had that has not come to fruition. I don't fully understand what you loosened in me, but a whole range of thoughts, memories, & dreams cascaded out of the recesses of my memory library.
Too many to relate here; I would say that I'm sensing a beautiful & strong positive energy when my thoughts are directed towards the places you've graced your presence with in thought...feelings expressed through your words.
Bill~ (Leonardo)
I wish you all that you truly want in the New Year. You are a sweet girl. In a stranger's opinion that doesn't really matter.... you deserve your heart's desire, whatever it may be.
ReplyDeleteYour posts make it clear to me... what it is and why I say you deserve it.
That 4 letter word will come to you... because you have already freely given, and still have more... to give. None of us knows the capacity, the depths of our own hearts, until that right person comes along and has the key that unlocks those inner locks and unleashes feelings/desire/even more love than even we ourselves thought possible.
When it's right.. you'll know, and then you have to abandon yourself to it. Friends help us in our journey, but true loves rock our worlds and take us beyond our imaginations.
You deserve it. You will find it.
Peace and strength to you in 2007. Say Hi to your mom and wish her the same.
McBill