Love Is Friendship on Fire

I've heard this saying of friendship on fire. It has been said by many and Bruce Lee even has he own version.

“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.”

I love it. Because when I think of my friendships, they are like fireworks that truly light up my life? It's beautiful.

I found myself in a bit of an attack last night from a round of girls that were not my friends. They were strangers... someone else's friends at a party last night.

"Well then you mustn't care about people if you don't care to call them.. If I don't hear from someone I'm dating within three days, I think it's wrong."

But it's not wrong if you don't hear from your family or friends for a while? Seems a bit needy to me and egotistic. I hate talking on the phone. My own mother knows that and she doesn't hold it against me. I talk to her the most and sometimes I get busy that she doesn't hear from me for several weeks."

"If you cared, you'd make the time. How do you ever date and have boyfriends?"

"I'm busy."

"You can't experience life by not dating."

"You don't necessarily experience life or love with dating. It is a frivoulous ritual. All these rules to call and be at one another's beck and call or else you are not loving each other."

And so the eyes rolled and the girls gave me a smug look to tell me that my naivete was a sign of stupidity to them and worthy of a good poke.

I had one very good friend standing in the side quietly listening. I wasn't exactly getting fed to vultures but there was a sense that these strangers didn't understand nor liked me. Someone had led them to have a conversation with me. They found the bits of information too intriguing to not take on.

"You mustn't care about people if you don't want to experience them."

"I do.. It's called FRIENDSHIP."

I told the girls that they had it backwards maybe.... this falling in love stuff.

So they hang out with someone HARD CORE for a couple of months maybe longer and call it a serious relationship. Breaking up becomes this drama that sometimes turns someone's life upside down and then they break off saying they never had much in common and that they can't be friends.

Were they really friends in the first place?

I may not have a history of "serious relationships" to credit many lessons on love to meet the standards of these girls.. But I have a history... NO...history means past and gone...

I have the loyalty of serious friendships which include family members. I don't have as many lost yesterdays to speak of because my relationships endure. The guys that I didn't choose as they might've preferred during college are still friends that remember my birthday and are somewhat up to date with my life. I experience respect and support from them. And I don't need to hear it every three days to believe it. As for lovey dovey romance, I think I'll have my season yet.

Thinking something is wrong... THAT is a choice. I can experience love in being present."

The girls didn't understand me in the end. They chose to excuse themselves for a cigarette. But my friend who quietly sat listening came forward after the crowd left and told me that she understood exactly how I felt.

That meant a lot to me.

Love is friendship on fire. Are your friendships ON FIRE???

JNET