Disconnected in Paradise

This is one of the better internet cafes I found in the Philippines at Markati. Most places I encountered were little dives stuck into little corners. I would've written a great deal more while on vacation but I didn't have the luxury of my laptop and internet access was not at every corner like it is here in America. I had been spoiled having DSL at home and being able to wander anywhere in my place to write.

My cousins and I lamented not having our cellphones, our laptops, our DSL. I missed my piano. We broke out in heat rashes and were eaten by mosquitoes, dealt with brown outs (what do you mean no electrictity for the next 6 hours???!!!) and lapses of time with no running water. Baths by bucket became protocol.

I stayed in places where no one spoke English nor cared to and the people mainly wore blue jeans and tee shirts. The fashion statement was practicality and easy maintenance. Survival. Why wear heavy material in a hot day? I suppose I had romantic notions of people living in tropical places. I wasn't drinking out of coconuts and having mango smoothies. A coke was less expensive than water.

We had our dresses and outfits that enjoyed celebrating the feminine form and we stuck out conspicuously and drew stares.... some not so friendly. We were a bit self-conscious after noticing that most girls wore tee-shirts and shorts at the beach while were were the only ones in bikinis. I've never felt soo naked at a beach before.

It was a bit comedic with parents trying to coax us to go into the water at the beach and 'go play'.... They were thrilled to take us to the beach after hours of driving but then they had to pry us off the table to get wet as we negotiated through our bags for a handy tank or something to cover ourselves.

Spending time in Olongapo was the most difficult. I stayed in places where no one spoke English nor wished to and I had no transportation except for jeepneys and tricycles (motor cabs). Not speaking the language I was stranded at home or left home. Only stick shift cars were available for renting and I wasn't open to driving in the craziness of an unfamiliar territory where rules were definitely different... plus, my family wanted to rent a van to accomodate 8 people and I didn't feel comfortable driving a huge vehicle. I was the only person that knew how to drive a manual car.

And so I spent most of my time marooned indoors with a book and no where to go except my head because I couldn't be part of conversations. In short, it was an compromised vacation and I wished I was at work because I knew at least I could make money though I would be working insane hours again.

I missed my piano and did not have my ways to relax and unwind. My extensions toward communicating and being expressive were cut off which also meant that my sense of safety and feeling under control with each moment was also out the screenless windows. I found moments where I was absolutely stressed out to terrified to apathetic.

I missed having cold water and ice. Water quality wasn't safe so I drank soda everyday. Not healthy... I experienced my own personal madness. When I finally came to a space where I could have something safely cold, I indulged and wanted to numb my mind. I was isolated the bulk of my vacation, separated because I didn't speak the language. I think everyone was relieved that I at least always carry a book to occupy myself.

I was sorry to not enjoy a place where so many of my colleagues have given me rave reviews but I only stayed in a nice place for a couple of days of my three weeks out of the country. I saw the beach only twice. The pictures of parasailing and jetskiing was one of the days at the beach.

JNET