I Dare the Waves to Claim Me

I wished to have studied the violin so that I can pose for pictures such as this.

I've spent many moments on the rocks at La Jolla like this in the past daring the ocean to have a few words with me. It never crashed close enough.

I rarely go to the ocean now. It was once a place I went to when I was only sad or angry and it was near home and gave me another roar to hear beyond myself.

For the life of me, I can't remember what got me so upset in the past... Maybe it was just teenager angst.... most likely following a walk-out from a disagreement with my mom. I don't indulge my emotions in such a way anymore. Anyway, I now live 30 minutes from the beach and not 10 minutes. And I don't walk away from uncomfortable conversations. I just go into my head.

I had an interesting evening last night with someone who is determined to make himself special to me.

"Do you have emotions for me?"

"What is that like? I think emotions can be excessive."

"Do you miss me when we're not together? (silence) ..... Hmmm... You've never been in love, otherwise you would understand. That's fine. What is it that I always tell you?"

"You tell me many things..."

"Everything is FIXABLE"

I'm still trying to recall the talk but we got sidetracked into another conversation. But something settled with me from that conversation and that was that this person is really working at getting to me. I'm still wondering what he meant from "everything is fixable." I text messaged him. Maybe I'll get an answer before I finish this blog entry.

The waves of life are trying to have a few words with me.

I had a similar conversation with another person and the flavor was reminescent in spirit though different in words.

Splash!

And yet I stare at the vastness that is the ocean of life and listen to the pulse of sound hum but nothing touches me. Still the ocean is alive and I can't help but listen.

This just came to my e-box:

It's like one big hall of mirrors, isn't it, JNET?
Except, of course, that the halls of time and space reflect what you choose to think.

Hmmm....

JNET