Aren't We A Pair

The mathematician said hello yesterday evening.

The ironies of Life never cease to amaze me.

We toasted to J and C last night at a concert in Descanso Gardens. J and C brought two extremely busy and resistent people, myself and the mathematican to a lunch several years ago. Our respective relationships with J and C disintegrated (putting it lightly) but nonetheless, I loved the irony and thought it worthy of a toast.

In the spirit of Mozart's playfulness, we lifted our cups to defy past enmities while The Marriage of Figaro played. If ever I was to describe a cosmic explosion, then I have to say that such happened the day I met this enigmatic man. I once thought romantic love was a plebeian pursuit that brought less than ideal realizations.

The world shook again as I sat at his side and wondered where the white rabbit was. I enjoyed my evening in wonderland and wish I could find my way there. Why can't I find it without the mathematician? A part of me still wants to deny that he has such power.

There were some days that the mathematician seem more mythical than real. And the times I see him, reality feels fantastic.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"Do you want to discuss metaphysics?"

"We can discuss nonsense or metaphysics, as long as we enjoy ourselves."

"So who was supposed to be your date tonight had I not come?"

"I had no date planned. S called last night to say he was playing in the orchestra and that he had a couple of tickets. I hadn't spoken to him in several months. This evening purely came out of spontaneity."

I didn't expect my invisible muse to make an appearance. I had grown comfortable with my epistolary hellos and never expected anything more than he be a listener and quiet force in my life.

Last night at the garden, all I could think of... was...

"Aren't we a pair?"

It was perfect. Two ascetics trying to navigate the terrain of a date. We laughed a lot and then we kissed goodbye.

Onto the romance of Life....

Hopefully, I will see my mathematician again.

JNET

Games Egos Play

Are you being played? By Your Self???

Do your friends know you as a different person than the folks at work? Are you a different person at home than with your family? If you are boogie-ing between roles that Life can sometimes scratch out a bad mix and you're living life thankful to not be caught between costume changes, then chances are you are living a life of pretense.

Elaborating Reality in an effort to sidestep boredom, living out a separate reality because everyone is so stinking narrow-minded that you NEED a mask, working to be DIFFERENT that it sometimes feels like indentured servitude, who is it really serving? Do you feel like master of your life or does it feel like the mask is mastering you?

It is said that "knowing thyself" is a key to happiness but what is going on when a day is an odyssey of bringing out different characters to the stage?


In the past I've done mask work on stage. Change your mask, change your body... mannerisms. It was fun to play with the changes. I became very conscious of details... of how to hold my hands, my head. There were no words. I had to speak with my body.

But what happens when you make a mask for yourself and you cannot go offstage without it? What happens if you outgrow a mask but you don't know how to take it off? What happens if you've been working from a script for so long and you no longer love the character that you've created?

In a world that cares about how you look, what does it take to present oneself in naked honesty? Some days we look fantastic, other days not as great.. and some days less than good.

For the month of September, our back to school theme is "getting back to the self" in the school of life.

We all have egos and sometimes they get in the way of possible worlds.

Tune in ... listen to the archives... call in to join the conversation.

JNET

Summer Serenade

I did not fall madly in love and get swept away into a world of romance this season. Instead I found my song; my inner melody.

I like it. I can dance to it and find that energy that leads and smiles as we go around the floor.... never letting me trip or fall.

I romanced Life this summer and despite uncertain moments, I never did let go of the embrace that held me through out the song. Tap tap, a passing suitor tried to grab my attentions. A couple of fellows tried to interrupt dances out of selfish ambition. The confusion of a moment did not destroy the rhythm and I found myself back in step and the gaze of my serenader gentle.

I am being serenaded by love, kindness and patience. What harmony can be made with noise?

I did not fall madly in love and find a summer romance. I found men who gave me flowers who loved to eat roses. I found men who looked at jewelry as leashes and never understood sparkle. I found men that insisted on a dance but only knew the mosh pit and not a ballroom.

Funny, despite the disruptions; I found myself. I found my melody, my song and that it was Life that wishes to romance me.

JNET