WORD UP: Living to Learn, Learning to Live

This week's BSF study continues to engage my imagination...

So how did we get from utter bliss to running around scared covered in shame and a fig leaf?

No more days at the park, catergorizing, and getting to know the animals to name them, gone were the days of daily being in the presence of a joyful artist and creator, and gone were the days when you looked at your beloved with a sense of profound joy for out of the abundant yet lonely wilderness, someone who inspires and understands you finally speaks and you realize the beauty of humanity; yours and theirs.

Instead, days are burdened. There is no time for parks and paradise and the animals that you once named, studied, and cared for are killed for food or kept at safe distances so that they don't eat you. And as for your beloved, you yo-yo from sanity to insanity. The carefree days of abundance are now stressed out days of trying to keep things together... You struggle for inspiration and understanding and it's hard to imagine delighting over your own humanity let alone your beloved's.

But hey, you have your good days and you have your bad days.

Paradise is complicated in its simplicity anyhow.. Living in peace, harmony, enjoying a new day to learn, gets boring. And thinking.. takes energy.

Genesis chapter 3 always fascinates me and blogging my thoughts allows me to linger over some things a little more before I take on next week's homework.

Two special trees.. a tree of life... a tree of immortality? and the famously forbidden tree of knowledge of good and bad. Was it a set-up? I can't say that it was a set up.. every game has rules to play by and we don't get upset over those rules. Upsets usually occur when someone doesn't believe in playing by the rules...

Was it the fruit.. did it unleash ominous powers? No, Eve, though misguided.. did have some naughty intentions. She had EVERYTHING and yet she was curious about the one thing that was off limits. Now that kind of appetite is what got her in trouble and talking to a spectacular looking crafty creature that had a knack for taking things out of context and making her confused wasn't a good move in the end.

I had to think of the Eve in me... were there any forbidden trees that were taxing my attentions and was I hanging out with toxic crafty creatures? Do I place myself in situations that might compromise my bit of daily paradise?

Yes. I did have an unusual day in my piece of paradise recently....

Adam (my mathematician) has been busy with his little corner of Eden when a beautiful and compelling creature came by to say hello.

I didn't fall for the fruit joke. The tempting creature modulated their tactics and the intellectual exercise to overcome emotion was quite a game.

The creature spoke into my insecurities, knowing me very well. The creature was very subtle yet aggressive; intelligent. Knowing that I was not stupid and having an opportunity to flaunt their cleverness, the creature delighted over their moves like a game of chess. A conversation that had little wisps to pull at my insecurities and graceful wisps that spoke to my desires and my values... even...

Eve's downfall was not by a bulldozing coarse creature... she was tempted by a friendly sounding eloquence that spoke to a clear space marked for her baggage...

Maybe she wondered if the fruit was really deadly and wanted to test God and check out if God was going to come in and save her at the last moment... maybe she didn't believe that consequences would follow and maybe she wasn't thinking at all and just let the creature run the show while she went with "the flow."

In the end, it's not the tempting fruit that marks downfall rather it's the thinking or not thinking that surrounds it.

I am happy with the paradise that is my life and I didn't let myself get pulled in by a sense of lacking and scarcity.. I am able to see and value what I have and not be driven by what I don't have. And I was able to recognize that I was speaking with a crafty creature because they didn't really care about how I thought or felt --- the conversation became about how they can persuade me to think and feel in a certain way to get the results they were vying.

If you don't think... someone else will happily do the thinking for you. And that truly will mark the death of one.

Funny, how one gains wisdom by NOT eating of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and bad.

JNET

Working Between the Silence: Perception and Connection

Today I had the pleasure of listening to Professor Felipe de Leon, Jr. speak (Commissioner of The National Commission of Arts and Culture in the Philippines). He was a guest at KNL's dance rehearsal.

The professor gave an inspiring and enlightening talk about the Filipino psyche to help us as dancers get really connected to the spirit of the dances as well as the peoples behind it.

There are 4 main cultures that are represented in our dances...

The highland or mountain cultures... the people have held tightly to their ancient ways...are very nature-spirit based.. their expression as a people are that they are one with the elements. I have been learning dances where to even brush your feet on the earth is a reverent expression. Music is very percussive.

The lowland peoples were the most colonized. They are Christianized and are a very devotional group.. Dances representing the lowlanders are communal, celebratory and music is Western influenced.

Our Maria Clara dances represent the refined European gentility influence.. very romantic and Spanish influenced.

And lastly, our Muslim dances embraces the mysticism and flowing seamlessness of the Islamic influence.

I was amazed at the diversity of the people on the Philippine Islands and it is by that diversity that the spirit of the Filipino blossom from building a common psyche. The spiritual center of the people lives from the sense that there is a common soul of humanity; a connectedness. The language itself reveals a sophistication on perception and relating to people. The professor shared that in Tagalog (the common languge within the island) there are 88 words for the word "looking" and more than 100 words for the word "touch".

The psyche of the Filipino craves expression, being a highly relational people, tending to be nurturing, standing in the "presence of social possibility"... also seeking to understand... A non-conformist innately, enjoying the "heterophony" around which is expressed in many ways especially through art and music... the variations of individual expression "celebrating a creative universal presence"...

The word the professor used was KAPWA to describe the notion of the Filipino culture which translates to "shared being"... "the other person is yourself" and that the essence of the people deep down don't believe that their own existence is separate from others... everything is shared from a snack to stories as well as grief and laughter.

I see the professor's analysis and have been raised in the communal magic of the world my family created for me in the States. Even if there were few people from my family's country in some of the places they've raised us... they managed to bring their world to us by creating it... They created it in the neighborhoods.. and creating a social bond of connectedness and transparency gave a world where no one can be lonely or a stranger for very long...

Through the silent gaps of diversity, everyone felt free and safe to be one another's neighbor and friend... no one felt foreign in their neighborhood.

Here is an interesting article where some of Professor De Leon's thoughts are shared in The Economist.

JNET

On Being Committed

It's been a mind-blowing year to grow up.

I spoke to R. in AZ the other day to encourage him to volunteer time as an assistant at Landmark Education. But he hoed and hummed over "time commitment".

I totally understand the "I don't have enough time" tune. I've sung it for many years to bypass commitment and I finally got that this past year.

So what did I choose to do differently this year? I chose to take on being committed to several things and the things that I had been "committed" to already, I took on to a new level of creating excellence and being impeccable.

I wanted a breakthough in the realm of commitment.... knowing that I am a "selective" commitment-phobe. And this is what I've learned...

I watched how I complained in my head and got over myself a lot quicker.

After getting over myself, I recommitted and became present to what I said I was committed to.

If I knew that I had a time conflict coming on, I made a conversation happen right away because I wasn't just committed to a certain appointment... I was committed to being a person that can be straight and dependable.

I created a game in being in a space to play at living out excellence...

I learned that being committed is fun... and that there's room for lots of spontaneity.

So I'm happy that I joined the dance company after being invited for so long. The Sunday 10am to 5pm (sometimes later) time frame always put me off. But I showed up and I got over myself and my mistakes because I wanted to create art and learn the cultural dances of my parents. I wanted to master grace, expression, and throw myself into the world of performance dance... and having killer abs is a nice plus.

I'm happy with who I am as a growing artist.

I'm a better student at BSF. It has been a commitment to always grow spiritually as well as intellectually in faith and study. I'm enjoying the mystery of life at a modulated space and I don't keep it to myself... I share it, I blog it... and I find myself celebrating life even more.

I'm happy with who I am as a person of growing faith.

So these are a couple of thoughts on my mind regarding commitment...

And I have my muse to thank for being a catalyst in giving me new eyes to look at my life and how I want to handle things. And I want to have a great life and not a so so life and his encouragement is like water to me... and with our respective crazy lives...within the spaces of being together... I've learned commitment at a level that has freedom and integrity... where security comes from within and doesn't seek it outside of the self.

And life comes out so much more magically... Because commitment is a lot more than just showing up for an appointment... it's showing up to life.

JNET