Something just above my steering wheel was giving my feet a little splash. I stressed over it for a week, driving on a prayer. Since it didn't smell like gasoline or anything chemical, I decided to lean on buying time. My schedule has gotten so busy that I was having trouble as to when I can drive over to my mechanics shop. It's been weeks since I had an off day.
I finally squeezed in a call and described my dilemma between students yesterday and so he asked me to come straight over before he closed shop for the weekend. Driving to Van Nuys to the only VW specialist I trust in all of Los Angeles on a Friday afternoon was an adventure in itself. I arrived 10 minutes before the shop closed and the guys came out happily expecting me and in less than 5 minutes found that the windshield wiper line was busted and squirting at me. They pulled the line out and then sent me on my way... gratis.
That is why I drive a 78 Superbeetle. Maintenance with very nice people and the costs are so low at taking care of it.
It would be nice to have a new car but I like having no car payments and low maintence costs... and the bug helps me behave. If I had a new car, I would have to exercise a great deal of discipline driving slow. I already push my bug at 75mph for the speed thrill. In newer cars, my average drive speed would be easy to take higher to numbers that would scare my mom. If no one is on the road with me and the coast is clear...
Yes, it is a good thing I drive a bug..
So yesterday's car drama didn't plunge me. I had a happy ending.
It had been a stressful enough week. I had a couple of students need to take a break due to schedule conflicts ... My schedule has begun the holiday tango starting with the Jewish holidays and will continue to be interesting until after the New Year. And I lost my glasses...
Dance rehearsal was so rigorous this past week adding now costumes and make up, my arms were too sore to practice playing the piano and I had allergic reactions to wearing stage makeup and hairspray.
My body is acting strange this month and I'm starting to get that it is stress out. My immune system is compromised keeping on top. I've watch a lot of people around me get sick and I'm still pushing forward. I'm playing the game but my body is telling me now that I'm stretching it. I'm going to have to rethink my strategy. My plan was to take on life with ease as I create it from very energetic activities... I'm not quite there yet.
Saturday, October 8, 2005
Thursday, October 6, 2005
WORD UP: Innocence In Paradise
This week's BSF study brought some interesting thoughts to mind. I found it immensely interesting and somewhat amusing when we came upon the Adam and Eve being naked question.
Why were they not ashamed?
I decided to bear my thoughts :)
A life that is without pretense and fear of judgment is a life without the weight of insecurity. It was natural to be naked... and transparent. Being real on more levels than the physical... that is my take on paradise.
Genesis as well as many parts of the Bible presents God as a loving designer; an artist with intention who places his most beloved creation in a garden with lots of fruits and vegetation for food and animals and wild life for company (not food). The Genesis story represents man's origins in paradise; a place of peace to commune directly with a loving power.
Fastforward to our beautiful modern world where the modus operandi of the human strata is to reduce man, belittle his ideas, encourage habits of self-destruction on a physical and spiritual level... create ways of thinking to discourage boundless ways of thinking and limit possibility... and elevate the self on an on-going game of one-up-over-you.
and we find ourself so far far away from paradise.
We don't only do this to one another. We do this to ourselves.
A life that is abundant can be dashed with a single thought...
In the garden where there was plenty of food from the plants and trees, there were also two special trees that were unique and singular: the tree of life and the tree of knowledge of good and evil. These two trees were NOT replicating baby trees of knowledge making little forests of trees of life. These trees were to not to be eaten from... as an exercise of choice toward obedience.
A woman shared something to bring the relationship of the forbideen trees to modern light...
She shared that her life was good. She had a wonderful family and life to enjoy but sometimes in her pursuit of a better life and perfection she would get stumped by some singular detail and that she would find herself distracted. And despite the current blessings her life was provided with, she would find herself unhappy about something that she wanted to make under her control and it was that "branch" of thought that would blind her from the life she had.
With that thought, I wondered if I had any trees in my life that distracted me from the paradise that was available to me. Thoughts are powerful things that can create as well as destroy. And I don't want my ignorance nor arrogance in thinking to undermine me to a distracted life that loses sight of the what I have before me.
The innocence of paradise is not about ignorance which is sadly equated to bliss. A distracting lie. Perhaps the innocence of paradise is the awareness and openess of trust which creates in loving relating a nakedness that is free of shame and insecurity.
I can enjoy this way of being in my relationship with God, my family and my friends. Where insecurity comes up, I'll think of the tree and the temptation to want to take a fruit that is a lie. You can't be fed security if you come from a place of insecurity.
JNET
Why were they not ashamed?
I decided to bear my thoughts :)
A life that is without pretense and fear of judgment is a life without the weight of insecurity. It was natural to be naked... and transparent. Being real on more levels than the physical... that is my take on paradise.
Genesis as well as many parts of the Bible presents God as a loving designer; an artist with intention who places his most beloved creation in a garden with lots of fruits and vegetation for food and animals and wild life for company (not food). The Genesis story represents man's origins in paradise; a place of peace to commune directly with a loving power.
Fastforward to our beautiful modern world where the modus operandi of the human strata is to reduce man, belittle his ideas, encourage habits of self-destruction on a physical and spiritual level... create ways of thinking to discourage boundless ways of thinking and limit possibility... and elevate the self on an on-going game of one-up-over-you.
and we find ourself so far far away from paradise.
We don't only do this to one another. We do this to ourselves.
A life that is abundant can be dashed with a single thought...
In the garden where there was plenty of food from the plants and trees, there were also two special trees that were unique and singular: the tree of life and the tree of knowledge of good and evil. These two trees were NOT replicating baby trees of knowledge making little forests of trees of life. These trees were to not to be eaten from... as an exercise of choice toward obedience.
A woman shared something to bring the relationship of the forbideen trees to modern light...
She shared that her life was good. She had a wonderful family and life to enjoy but sometimes in her pursuit of a better life and perfection she would get stumped by some singular detail and that she would find herself distracted. And despite the current blessings her life was provided with, she would find herself unhappy about something that she wanted to make under her control and it was that "branch" of thought that would blind her from the life she had.
With that thought, I wondered if I had any trees in my life that distracted me from the paradise that was available to me. Thoughts are powerful things that can create as well as destroy. And I don't want my ignorance nor arrogance in thinking to undermine me to a distracted life that loses sight of the what I have before me.
The innocence of paradise is not about ignorance which is sadly equated to bliss. A distracting lie. Perhaps the innocence of paradise is the awareness and openess of trust which creates in loving relating a nakedness that is free of shame and insecurity.
I can enjoy this way of being in my relationship with God, my family and my friends. Where insecurity comes up, I'll think of the tree and the temptation to want to take a fruit that is a lie. You can't be fed security if you come from a place of insecurity.
JNET
Sunday, October 2, 2005
POEM: No Race To Name
An island of a smile
A face from Spain
Eyes from the Orient
No race to name
I breathe in the east
And wake in the west
No roots on the earth
I live out a quest
Cultures crashing on a beach
Unsure my being unshored
Acceptance by artists
Most others ignored
Sometimes confusion inspires a game
To see who'll guess right
Here I am, a few shades too dark
Standing alone a few shades too light
An island of a smile
A face from Spain
Eyes from the Orient
No race to name
Copyright ©2005 J. R. Hollyday
This is a reprise of a poem I wrote in February.
I had a great weekend... high intensity with a mix of fleeting moments of self-pity and frustration.
I left Friday night for San Diego and arrived at 1am and stayed up til 3am with my mom. An opportunity had came up for us to share our health business at a Filipino cultural festival. It was to be a first annual neighborhood kick-off to celebrate Filipino Hertiage Month and we had all of 5 days to prepare. I didn't have a crazy supply of brochures, I mainly share with close friends and families so we came up with creative solutions.
My sister-in-law borrowed a canopy from a friend, a couple of tables were borrowed. My brothers came to set up and break down our set-up... I didn't have a business "banner" so I made some artsy letters in cardboard which my sister-in-law arranged across our tent... THELIVINGWELL.NET
We had a artsy tent with red pretty material draping the sides and keeping the sun out. Information CD's arranged nicely across the front with a few stories and testimonials in plastic as well as various brochures on the benefits of mangosteen juice and we attracted the nicest people to our little corner of the festival... with a great view of all the entertainment... cultural dances, a fashion show, music and martial arts.. lots of wonderful talent..
So we met a lot of artsy people who are into alternative health possibilities and I had some very interesting conversations. I love it when I demonstrate what the word "try" does to people. It surprises everyone. I teach it to my students to help them get rid of the word. And I teach it to everyone else when I am looking for specific persons to invite into my business. I learn a lot about a person with that exercise... and they learn a lot about myself as well.
So in general, it was a wonderful day... the unwonderful parts were when a few persons came up to ask me if I was Filipino... I'm the oddest looking person, I suppose, so I was glad to have my mom there to set them straight and give me culture cred. I get questioned EVERY SINGLE TIME I go to an event where there are Filipinos who don't know me.
I'm a mix... but I got so "mixed" up that no one seems to pin what I am. It's obvious that I look different.. I guess I wish people asked in a way that wouldn't send me back to my isolated days of junior and senior high school where I felt like I would have had more acceptance if I hadn't looked so "questionable" or "different." I didn't make it into the asian cliques.. I became an artist.. and most of my closest friend are from all over the world, Russia, Turkey, Japan, Switzerland, India, England or they are mixed as well..
I feel like a party crasher when someone asks me if I'm Filipino. I still have those moments when I go to dance rehearsal. And I felt even more obviously different when we had our photo shoot today. It was great being in makeup and costume but I looked less island than everyone and wondered if my Spanish features were just too angular. I had a poignant moment of sadness... silly as I know it is.
I guess I sometimes wish I had a more aloha look.
JNET
A face from Spain
Eyes from the Orient
No race to name
I breathe in the east
And wake in the west
No roots on the earth
I live out a quest
Cultures crashing on a beach
Unsure my being unshored
Acceptance by artists
Most others ignored
Sometimes confusion inspires a game
To see who'll guess right
Here I am, a few shades too dark
Standing alone a few shades too light
An island of a smile
A face from Spain
Eyes from the Orient
No race to name
Copyright ©2005 J. R. Hollyday
This is a reprise of a poem I wrote in February.
I had a great weekend... high intensity with a mix of fleeting moments of self-pity and frustration.
I left Friday night for San Diego and arrived at 1am and stayed up til 3am with my mom. An opportunity had came up for us to share our health business at a Filipino cultural festival. It was to be a first annual neighborhood kick-off to celebrate Filipino Hertiage Month and we had all of 5 days to prepare. I didn't have a crazy supply of brochures, I mainly share with close friends and families so we came up with creative solutions.
My sister-in-law borrowed a canopy from a friend, a couple of tables were borrowed. My brothers came to set up and break down our set-up... I didn't have a business "banner" so I made some artsy letters in cardboard which my sister-in-law arranged across our tent... THELIVINGWELL.NET
We had a artsy tent with red pretty material draping the sides and keeping the sun out. Information CD's arranged nicely across the front with a few stories and testimonials in plastic as well as various brochures on the benefits of mangosteen juice and we attracted the nicest people to our little corner of the festival... with a great view of all the entertainment... cultural dances, a fashion show, music and martial arts.. lots of wonderful talent..
So we met a lot of artsy people who are into alternative health possibilities and I had some very interesting conversations. I love it when I demonstrate what the word "try" does to people. It surprises everyone. I teach it to my students to help them get rid of the word. And I teach it to everyone else when I am looking for specific persons to invite into my business. I learn a lot about a person with that exercise... and they learn a lot about myself as well.
So in general, it was a wonderful day... the unwonderful parts were when a few persons came up to ask me if I was Filipino... I'm the oddest looking person, I suppose, so I was glad to have my mom there to set them straight and give me culture cred. I get questioned EVERY SINGLE TIME I go to an event where there are Filipinos who don't know me.
I'm a mix... but I got so "mixed" up that no one seems to pin what I am. It's obvious that I look different.. I guess I wish people asked in a way that wouldn't send me back to my isolated days of junior and senior high school where I felt like I would have had more acceptance if I hadn't looked so "questionable" or "different." I didn't make it into the asian cliques.. I became an artist.. and most of my closest friend are from all over the world, Russia, Turkey, Japan, Switzerland, India, England or they are mixed as well..
I feel like a party crasher when someone asks me if I'm Filipino. I still have those moments when I go to dance rehearsal. And I felt even more obviously different when we had our photo shoot today. It was great being in makeup and costume but I looked less island than everyone and wondered if my Spanish features were just too angular. I had a poignant moment of sadness... silly as I know it is.
I guess I sometimes wish I had a more aloha look.
JNET
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