tsw: day 57 watching the clock

I've run out of benadrly.  I've run out of bananas.  And I'm hoping tomorrow will be a good day for me to run errands.  Today, I woke up to dry, blotchy red skin that was having a paper cut party.  It's a weird and miserable experience that calmed down after a shower and a few ice packs.

I'm doing the NO moisturizer regime.  After I shower, I put nothing on to 'seal the moisture'.  No emollients, lotions, etcetera after I pat myself dry.  After reading several TSW blogs, I noticed there was great debate over whether to moisturize or not.  Moisturizers are seen as crutches that interfere with healing skin learning to be strong.  Many believe that suffering a short period of discomfort will open to a smoother roller coaster ride.  Skin will still be temperamental but less angry.

After last weekend's struggle to be comfortable enough to sleep an hour soundly, I'm keen to not have a repeater.  Pain is stupefying.  Sometimes, I feel like I dare not move.  Today, I wondered why I couldn't cry.  I must be too tired to bother or perhaps a part of me thinks that pain feels even worse if you cry.

You would think that reaching for an ibuprofen and melatonin would be second nature by now.  No, and I don't want reaching for medicine to feel normal.

It's 4am.  It's day 57 of TSW.  My sleep schedule is weirding out.  I'm looking forward to beginning a new day.  I'm trying out a new supplement whose reviews were impressive.  Tomorrow will be a new day to figure out and hack my wellness.  Good morning and goodnight.

jnet

TSW: day 46 i'd wear a veil if I could rock it

I'm looking my worst to date. And the pain is pretty intense. Yesterday, after taking two benadrlys, I was finally sleepy. I had not slept the night before due to the sparky electric like storm on my face. You would think I would just collapse into bed. Nope. The discomfort was so intense, I decided to stand in the shower (for the third time of the yet so young Saturday afternoon). It's the only place I don't feel awful.

My boyfriend called me his Barnacle Belle.  I laughed and it hurt.  Despite feeling like I look like a monster, he did not want to cancel our movie date night. I dressed up cute and wore a hat to hide underneath.  I'd wear a veil if I could rock it but fabrics near my face don't feel nice.

New thing, I'm on antibiotics this week.    Boo!  My face has a different thing going on and the pain has been more intense that I spent most of my time doing pain management than having time to consider eating or sleeping as a possibility.  My body didn't even fit in a hives breakout.  Yay?  And another tiny detail came to mind. Before TSW, whenever my allergies/eczema/asthma would flare up, my eyes used to get super duper incredibly dry.  I needed to use a steroid eye ointment.  Along with being able to breathe better than ever since TSW, my eyes feel happy.  Go figure.

I wish my face would feel happy.  I'm brainstorming for outside the box options. I'm not keen on riding a withdrawal roller coaster.

jnet

tsw: day 44 - a week of calm during comic con

My skin was relatively calm while on vacation.  It had some dry spots but the pain was at an all time low. My skin decided to go crazy after vacation ended.

I'm considering going to urgent care at the moment.  New thing: I'm breaking out in hives which last a couple hours and goes away on its on.  My right hand and arm has something going on.  Minor.  I can put lotion on my arm and it doesn't sting.

My face is another story.  I felt the discomfort start brewing Monday night.  Tuesday, my face felt like paper cut central.  Wednesday, I had a small and different rash along my left cheek.  Thursday, I found myself finding comfort by having a constant warm soaking.

I'm up to three showers a day just so my face doesn't hurt. Last week feels like a dream.  I hardly had much concern over my skin. Is it environmental?  Is it LA?

Comic Con was awesome by the way.  I hope to write of it.

jnet

tsw: day 31 where are my allergies?

Happy 4th of July. So I molted last night last a freakish butterfly. My face seems to have calmed down to a blotchy red. It took me a long while to fall asleep though. My wonderful melatonin failed me. After reading Juliana's research on sleep and how lack of sleep increases inflammation, I got up and took two benadrlys to knock me out. I woke up at 11am.

I don't recognize myself.  I'm taking photos but I'm not brave like other bloggers to post them.  So I take pictures of Ukee in place of myself.  This above is a photo of Ukee and my latest discovery, a natural air purifier.

What does a rock lamp of solid salt have to do with TSW?  Well stopping steroid meds makes me a bit concerned about asthma and breathing issues.  I don' t want to inhale steroids to breathe when steroids are having a not so great effect on me.  I discovered that Himalayan salt is the non steroid inhaler that is getting great reviews.  Since breathing problems seem weirdly not an issue, I opted for the air purifier instead of the salt inhaler.

Consider checking out Himalayan salt inhalers if you think your breathing issues are more prominent in you during TSW than my experience.  A month having quit topical steroids, I've not breathed easier.  No difficulty whatsoever not even the asthma "cough" that used to bother me.  Pretty air purifier lamp it is!

As for controlling the pain, still working on that.  I hurt.

jnet

tsw: I’m planning on feeling great tomorrow but….my skin has it’s own moods

I made an appointment for Bax 3000 when my skin was doing well earlier this week. By appointment time, 48 hours later, my skin was really really dry and angry. By evening after the appointment, my face calmed down considerably.  The next morning was dedicated to pain management and brainstorming how understand the ever changing condition of my skin.  My face looked relatively fine but the electric thunderstorm was in waves I did not like.  Imagine having a bunch of paper cuts smarting on your face.

It was not an ice pack day.  It was a hot towel spa day.  It was a miserable day and the pain had me at my kitchen table constantly cuddling a little wet face towel.

Why do I feel less discomfort when I'm teaching or with my friends?

Doing the dishes, while washing a knife, I actually thought that cutting my arm would feel less painful than my face.  That's how miserable it gets.  It comes in waves.  During the respites, I try to be productive; clean, pay bills, read other blogs on how others have found comfort.  I played the piano and was able to escape for a bit but found myself back to heating water to make more hot towels.

I didn't cancel my weekly dinner with my best friend, N.  Though I was a total turtle putting dinner together, I did manage to bake bread and make dinner.  I fought my body all afternoon to claim my dominance.  If there's anything I want to be a master hacker of, it's my own mind and body.  N. arrived and made salad.  My boyfriend joined us.  I felt better.

There's somethings that can't be bottled and applied.

As much pain I may feel, it's less sharp when I'm with someone who cares about me doing something that takes my mind away from the consuming misery.  After hearing that I felt better when I was not alone, my boyfriend told me to gather my things so that I can get some rest at his place.

I fell asleep by midnight.  It was good to not watch the sun rise.

Next week my boyfriend's brother arrives from Texas and we head off to comic con.  I'm planning on feeling great.  My skin may have its moods but I'm committed to figuring it out. I'm a negativity slayer.  I'm going through TSW and I know I will be okay.

jnet

tsw: day 27 fighting fire w water

My boyfriend bought me a set of glasses where the hearts turn red when the drink is cold. It makes drinking water fun.

Today is not a good day.  I had a terrible time trying to fall asleep last night.  I feel flat.   I wish I could be upbeat.  It's my roommate's bday, the weather is perfect and I have no students scheduled for today.  But I don't feel zippy.  I feel zappy experiencing a weird sharp zappy pain shooting across my face.  My face is feeling dry and inflamed, my lips are swollen like I've eaten something I'm allergic to and I'm tired.

I'd stay in bed but I'm forcing myself to keep drinking water.  I go between sitting at my piano bench to the couch in the living room.  I'm within 10 paces of my kitchen for a water refill and another 10 to run to the bathroom.

Yesterday was a better day.  What did I do right?   What did I do to affect this change?  Did I drink too much water?  Drinking water seems to help me with lessening the swelling and redness.  I still manage to feel thirsty even after 8 pints though and my skin is still dry. Tomorrow I will journal everything I eat and drink.

My face hurts today.  It's red and affected below my cheeks and along my jawline.  It's stinging with an electric zappy sort of pain.  I think the nerves in my face are freaking out. It's a tiny bit swollen and feels warm to the touch.  I don't want to put ice on my face nor any sort of emollient.  I'm afraid it will just add to the pain.

Any good news?  My neck doesn't feel like elephant skin.  It feels soft and smooth.  It feels 90% normal.  I can lie down comfortably.  I'm also still breathing free and easy.  No sign of asthma. Despite my bit of misery, I believe I'm getting better.   My friends, family, and my students and their families are so sweet.  I guess the kids know that the ice packs means I'm taking care of a boo boo.  A parent told me to feel free to ask for anything to feel better.  She noticed that I come prepared with ice packs and ibuprofen.

I scheduled a Bax 3000 appointment with my chiropractor for tomorrow.  I'm hoping to feel much clearer before the weekend.

 jnet