Back in the Bay of Magic

Nevermind that I was delayed in Denver for 5 hours. I finally landed in Boston long past the midnight hour. After a couple of bevvies, I bid my host goodnight and rested.

Today, K and I strolled Newbury and I found it easy to fall in love with the energy of Boston... the air of confidence, creativity and pride. Before I romanced life in Los Angeles, I had a love affair with Boston.

"When are you moving back?" Is the question everyone asks.

Someday is what I think but my visit makes me want to say the answer is "As soon as I can."

I'm enjoying a comfortable life in Los Angeles with a world I adore. I'll make my way to Boston when its a feasible upgrade. I don't want to return to student quarters living. I've done the student ghetto lifestyle and won't take on a part two in returning to Beantown.

But the vibe is definitely beautiful. I hung out at my friend's local "Cheers" where at least a dozen folks made way to our table during the course of the evening to chat and say hello. The conversations ranged from discussing politics, the media, physics, technology and music.... not light-weight topics but definitely discussed in a light-hearted manner. The beers and sangria helped. Maybe the garden gnomes too.

'Where people know your name.' is Boston for me. While walking down Boylston from the Public Garden, I bumped into a friend of mine.

"Hey, I lost touch with D. She hasn't answered my emails." he said.

"No way. Well you connected me to her a couple of years ago. Let's give her a ring."

I let him catch up with her on my cell phone while I enjoyed watching folks stroll by, current students coming out of the Berklee Performance building; a pair of Japanese guys playing Brazillian beats on a drum.

I was charmed by a mix of nostalgia and anticipation. It would be so easy to call Boston home once again.

JNET

Poised for the Season

Flamenco Hands

Sometimes confidence is only in the carriage.

I'm not feeling at my best and so I only hold my head up... and stifle a cough.

How miserable am I? I can recite of litany of circumstances and on the other side of those complaints, I have an abundance of things to be thrilled about.

Life is ALL THAT... I hold my breath and declare its perfection and hold my head high despite moments of disappointment, fear or fatigue. I skip the self-pitying nap and take a friend out to cheer THEM up.

Next month, after my return from the east coast, I will look into taking flamenco dance classes. The style speaks to me. It is proud, expressing strength, grace, control and skill... qualities I further wish to practice... and embody.... in my mind and in my body and spirit.

The season is full of promise though I miss the mathematician. I thought I can sit quietly with my heart yet Mystic fills the silence with his awkward hellos. I counter the confusion with projects that keep me busy and excited... my writing... my blog radio show... the piano and a full world of friends, activity and music.

I don't have time to indulge being sick nor tired. The music of Life plays on and I must step onto stage for my next number.

Now, if i can only get really good.... so that I can use the casanets..

Hmmm

JNET

The Glitches of Entering New Levels

"A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us.
To live is to be slowly born."

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

It's all new terrain... this blogtalk radio thing.

Writing and being ready, energetic and on-the-air live every Saturday morning at 9am is my new commitment at stretching my comfort zone boundaries. And now every Saturday I meet my nerves in controlling my switchboard, keeping a topic focused, engaging and positive, and handling my 30 minutes gracefully...(Mad panic during the last couple of minutes.)

But before I'm even on the air, I am preparing my notecards, fumbling with dialing into my host line (darn... what's that number AGAIN?) and wondering how to jump into my introduction as my show's music initiates. (It's like playing jump rope)

The art of a smooth entry amuses me. I don't have the luxury of being able to fade my music... it is "push stop and there you go"... endeavor.

Into the live internet wilderness I go with at least one friend to keep me company while a mysterious public listens. I torture myself at the end of each show by listening and critiqing my performance straight after.I need to speak with more energy. I need to slow down and stop sounding like I'm a runaway train. I need to take my time and deliberate my thoughts.... I need to control my nervous energy... I need to... I need to... I need to...

UGGHH. It's a painful learning process of trial and error. I've happily blogged in silence for a couple of years. Now I'm stretching myself into public speaking. It is so tempting to push that delete button... Make the program disappear in thin air. But I archive it... the unpolished stepping stone of my journey.

Can I command a conversation between three? Can I command a conversation by myself to an invisible public? How far can I engage my voice? Can I eventually learn how to engage 1000 listeners? Can I control the gnawing temptation to delete my mistakes and strive within unbroadcasted perfectionist practicings?

Such are the thoughts in expanding my world.

JNET

The Illusion of Cycles

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." Maria Robinson N: "JNET, I am stuck in a cycle." After some thought, something dawned on me. JNET: "N, is it possible to consider that the cycle does not exist. Perhaps the cycle is a superstition." A superstition? Those cycles of failures in life, one's shortcomings... a superstition? Why not? Some people follow superstitions for good luck, some create the opposite. It seems more expansive to take on a spiral paradigm, that one's slinky is either ascending or descending... depending on where one intends to move along... Whether one progresses on not is not a cycle... it's inertia. To believe in only seeing the recurring "cycle" of life's failures and mishaps sounds like a way to adopt superstitious notions and dropping one's power... and responsibility... SUPERSTITION: an irrational belief arising from ignorance or fear Some thoughts to play with. "do not bend the spoon, that is impossible" there is NO spoon

Again, Rest Eludes Me

Next week I leave for Boston.

It is my favorite place to be alone though I have many friends there and Boston seems to be the only place I actually relax for a span of time that extends over 24 hours.

Why do I have such a terrible time at un-winding?

Maybe because in Boston, I don't have to worry about driving. All work is satisfying and my training is better respected.

I have wonderful friends everywhere but the feeling that I have a less strong leg to stand on the western coast unsettles me. In the east coast, my students commuted through snow and rain to make their commitments whereas in sunny CA, I have students that cancel or quit on a lark because they "feel that they need to" and some demand that I owe them a lesson.... on my free time.

Such students lowers my morale. Funny how tiny splinters can make great pains.

It takes me some time to recover. Fortunately, the majority of my students are excited about having more time to play and practice over the summer.... one has requested a lesson every day for the last week of school as she prepares a "gift" for her teachers.

I wake up early hours to broadcast two shows a week and write... I practice and study and prepare during the morning. I teach through the afternoon and evening... I see my friends in the later evening.

Enjoying the positives that give me energy, I get flattened by car issues and cancellations. Sometimes a student has no idea what I had to go through to make it to my time with them.

What would the world be if everyone actually kept their word and their commitments?

Would Life have less traffic jams?

JNET

Thinking Outside the Laundry Basket

"Love conquers all and it helps to have a really good lawyer."

Miss Diva and I broadcasted a show to commemorate Loving Day.

The "Lovings" were an actual couple that "broke" the law by being married. They were jailed and given the choice of up to three years in prison or leave the state of Virginia for at least 25 years. They were an interracial couple.

It is hard to believe that 40 years ago there were laws in this country that forbade, in most states, the intermingling and marrying of two different races or cultures.

But yes, we separated the colors from the whites and had lived the laundry basket mentality for several generations. Love was a felony way back when to many unfortunate lovers.

It's been 40 years. Have we evolved as a society? Sadly, I'm seeing a renewed homogenization in some circles. What the Lovings fought for, overcoming struggle, disrespect and insensitivies for the sake of Love humbles me.

Who fights for Love anymore? Silent laws have been self-imposed even though the States may have set us free. Fighting private fears and complacency is the new battleground. To think "outside of the laundry basket" and not fear hot water or that a stray red sock can ruin the world makes sense. A uniform world is not something to be excited about.

Saturday, my show will consider the conversation further... If you want to share some of your laundromat mentality experiences or how you live life outside of the laundry basket, join myself and friends at our breakfast club, Saturday at 9am.

Blogtalkradio/JNETSWORLD!

JNET

Bringing Forth New Things

The champagne days continue in Jnetsworld.

Friends from the past have been gracing my world. I celebrated another birthday lunch with Clarebear who landed in town from San Diego. This week, R will be arriving from Phoenix. A party is planned for his reception on Friday evening.

That's the news of long ago yesterday and forecasting my future. As for my most recent past... this weekend.

My blogtalk radio show had its maiden voyage. It had some trouble finding its ways out of the docks as I fussed over which buttons to push and when. In the end, I was happy that I didn't abandon ship (I entertained the idea) and a couple of my dear friends jumped onto the line to make for lively conversation.

My second show will air live next Saturday morning at blogtalkradio.com/jnetsworld [blogtalkradio.com] call in to say hello.

I had a shaky beginning. I suppose I needed to make my mistakes to learn. Anyway, my day took off into family fun after the show... I thought I was ready for bed after a late night fun session at my brother's playing hula hoops with his family. But a call from my other brother came in... His wife and he were heading to the hospital.... seems like their baby didn't want to wait two weeks for its appointment of arrival.

Off to the hospital we went first thing in the morning. Our whole clan fit into the hospital room and the new baby slept through all the hugging and talking and babbling and crying from the family's youngest ones.

I was moved. I've never been in town when my brothers had their first babies last year. I'm thought I was tired... Somehow, Life manages to be so fun and fascinating... that I prefer to be awake... sacrifice sleep... I didn't miss my solitude though I dove into it readily when I feel its a good time to say goodbye...

Like NOW!

Jnetsworld continues toasting to LIFE.

JNET