On Being Brutally Honest

by *helmen.

What is being brutally honest?

The dictionary defines "brutal" as extremely ruthless or cruel,
or crude and unfeeling,
or harsh and unrelenting,
and lastly as disagreeably precise or penetrating...

My friend encouraged me to go to an open call for an upcoming reality relationship show that is seeking people that are "brutal and honest" and I found it very interesting that everyone has a different flavor of the definition..

For some, being brutally honest is like being like a machete in a relationship with an attitude of take no prisoners, perfect for the ruthless and cruel position.... communication with casualites.... MY MY MY how sophisticated... Now if the goal is to create connection, I would say such "brutal honesty" is not conducive to peace and understanding... if anything it is mindless and unfeeling as well. I would also vote that it is also very disagreeable but may be questionable in being precise.

Precision is a skill. Ask any marksmen, any strategist, any artist, any technician... anyone going for a GOLD MEDAL... precision is distinct from just shooting away.

So I listened to my fellow auditioneers as they displayed proudly their brutality...and wondered if this reality dating show is out to capitalize on pathology and neurosis. I showed up because I've been defined as "brutally honest" by my friends and family. I think I understand myself as the "unrelenting" definition in the game of life and my friends would be in agreement.

Unrelenting means....

having or exhibiting uncompromising determination.

If all of us are dreaming and searching for love, I find it interesting that people are willing to teach people to UNLOVE with their brutal honesty. NO ONE wins in the end with that strategy.

Isn't love a WIN-WIN game? I think you can be brutally honest with someone you love and be loved more for it... and yes, it may be difficult to grow and mistakes and shortcomings will be on the plate... but maybe being unrelenting towards an ideal or target of love can be the best brutality you can practice.