While you dream your life in the dark
The sun watches you sleep
You return from your slumber adventures
With stories to make the living weep
Coasting past warm waves of people
In a sea of solitude
Opportunities thrown back to an ocean
Of blue apathetic attitude
A tourist in your own quiet life
A traveller stuck inside his head
Dreamer of worlds of no future consequence
Practicing to be dead
The sun watches you sleep
You return from your slumber adventures
With stories to make the living weep
Coasting past warm waves of people
In a sea of solitude
Opportunities thrown back to an ocean
Of blue apathetic attitude
A tourist in your own quiet life
A traveller stuck inside his head
Dreamer of worlds of no future consequence
Practicing to be dead
Copyright ©2005 J. R. Hollyday
jnetsworld: I think you have a great talent. It is evident in the metaphors you use. There are some great lines here. You like to play with the words, like I do. That is a gift you do not learn. It is inate. Each line can stand on its own merit. Each line has power in the combination of the words. That is what poetry is about. Will look forward to reading more of your works. Chk splg of traveler in the last stanza. Well done. Jere
ReplyDelete"Let there love be"
ReplyDeleteThere's a pair of footprints waiting
To be sketched into the sand
The impressions of the future
Of you and me
Underneath the mist of morning
Where the sands are smooth and wet
There will be of set of footprints
On a day we won't forget
Only God knows of the meeting
Of two souls yet unaware
That our steps will mark the beach
Where love is waiting for us there
God will etch their feet in time
On ocean's fringe of ancient sand
He has well prepared our destiny
With artist knife in hand
He will carve the footsteps as the two
Tread lightly on our way
Looking out upon the waters
Just as God had planned the day
When the mist rose in the morning
And the sun shone from above
A you and me in the distance
And God said, "Let there be love."
Right on...I fail to see why we should practice the one thing that we all will surely succeed at...dying. lol. Nice language and metaphor. Too many live like they are waiting to die..I write about death, in ah, darker ways lol.
ReplyDeleteYou have the gift, Jnet. This is one of the best metaphoric poems I've read. So many are indeed like this, afraid to be alive while they still have the chance. Bravo! Mike
ReplyDelete