Loving Like An Athelete

loving like an athelete


I am riding the train back to Los Angeles right now. I arrive at midnight and have a slight idea of my arrangements in getting home from Union Station. With all my family in San Diego and only myself in LA, my life is made smoother by the kindness of good friends that respond to text messages and FB status updates.

Maybe it's living on the edge to you - to travel and not know what will happen at the midnight hour. I like to call it traveling on love and faith.

I am still on an adrenaline ride over an intense and full family weekend. There is much anticipation over babies being born within the next several weeks. There are tensions over first days of school and grandparents shuffling schedules to manage caretaking while parents juggle work schedules¦.

And this is only the pre-game.

Creating hoped for smooth transitions require many conversations that will go through tensions, confusions, clarifications, and encouragements challenging the family dynamic in being committed to one another. There is a trading of liaison roles and sometimes a goal feels like a relay race as we pass the batons. every finish line is in the name of "team family." The challenge is to love like an athelete.

Discomfort therefore is looked upon as something to press pass. Think of it as standing at the diving board aware that waiting will not make the water any warmer. At some point, you will have to work the nerve to get in the water.

Not everyone is equally skilled in communication and that is forgivable. Everyone at some point was clumsy nor had built enough patience muscle to have the strength to understand nor the reflex to act gracefully.

Not everyone is good. We have three year olds we must admonish to treat each other kinder. Saying sorry is painful through filters of stubborness. Sometimes a grown up needs a refresher talk.

Great plays, great landings, and races will be won, many will not be praised enough because life moves quickly meeting new challenges. Admiration and being appreciated will be one of those things to enjoy and accept without needing egos stroked. The thrill of experiencing new levels in the "family game" is enough.

What thrill can there possibly be in "family"? I'll tell you straight up that you've been sitting on the bench and not felt that thrill that trumps beating records, besting at a board or video game, or mastering a really fun technical piece on a musical instrument if you haven't overcome making a mistake turn into a lesson, creating a reconciliation that is creative and moving that it grows you and inspires others, or figuring out how to diffuse a bomb of conflict by cutting the correct wire in the nick of time to save the day.

Are you game?

JNET

Leave a Comment

Quick Listener

I've found myself needing to play defense several times this week that I welcomed beginning a weekend of not speaking to anyone. Court is adjourned!

Three well meaning friends had their own personal visions on how I may have my happiness look a particular way. Their criticisms came from that same good place that inspires moms to nag at their children for their own good.

Yes, yes yes...I feel the love and I am getting annoyed.

My mom doesn't draw out grueling upset conversation though. She has always been quick to listen so that I may put my case forward in a strong rational voice.

Do you know what it feels like to have someone be quick in listening to you? It gives you a sense of moving together toward understanding and being understood. It gives you the space to say what makes you happy even though the other person may have other suggestions.

And it gives you a platform to make a stand for yourself before getting emotionally wound up.... arrrgghh headache headache

My friends are used to a different tempo of communicating perhaps. We got out of sync that I had to go over the same measure of conversation over and over til I was on the verge of tears. Then and only then in a space of emotional restraint was I listened to and finally understood.

If I don't have exhausting emotional conversation like this with my family, why must I be pressed to the verge of tears by a friend? Why can't they trust my choices as freely?

It's because they still don't know me like my family does and therefore they need explanations. They don't quite understand my happiness all the time. They project their own ways, boy ways, not jnet ways upon me.

That frustration creates separation a temporary but annoying one.

But I do love them; my friends. I know they are coming from a loving and protective spirit. And I know they hold me in good regard even while we are out of sync and misunderstanding gets a dance in.

What feels like home to me? That place where listening is quick and feels like love. I know what that feels like and its really nice.

Are you a quick listener?

JNET

Leave a Comment

Mindshare LA

mindshare la

I joined 400+ mindshare rocksharians at Exchange LA, the club-ified former Los Angeles Stock Exchange Building last night.

It was my first time. After several months of having scheduling conflicts to attend this once a month event that shatters the typical stereotype of LA cool and bumps it up a quantum notch. Very hip, eclectic and mindstretching as you mindshare over cocktails and sweet goodies.

If you are wondering if you ought to go, I say yes yes yes. You will be happy. You'll leave knowing that the world is a better place than you thought.

Register. I didn't and paid at the door which is absolutely fine but believe me, it will make your hellos even easier.

B: "Gee, isn't the event a bit pricey?" a friend asked me last night wanting to know the skinny on Mindshare LA.

JNET: "Not at all. It's a great party smart scene. I thought I have to move back east to party like last night."

The party gathered into the exchange hall and everyone took a seat (cocktail or beer in hand) to listen to several speakers mindshare their ongoing projects. Imagine going to a very very cool lecture hall with a happy buzz.

The "geek" scene included a neuroeconomist who gave a talk on the bonding cuddle chemical, oxytocin, that grabbed everyone's fascination. It's power over how we socialize and how it is manipulated by con people sparked up lively conversation. The questions would've kept flowing but he had to share the stage with other speakers.

Several filmmakers also shared the stage. If you are into independent films and film festivals like myself then you will enjoy hearing what's UP with these folks.

Mindshare... cocktails, conversation, filmmakers, scientists, comic book artist... what else can an Angeleno be hungry for? Social consciousness and ideas that are changing society.... A woman shared her program of sharing and renting your things out. I had no idea that people had SO MUCH STUFF and that the storage industry is making bank. If you've heard of zipcar and couchsurfing, you'll like knowing of what she's doing in Los Angeles with NeighborhoodGoods.Net.

After the talks, the dance floor was cleared of its chairs and the party carried on. I went downstairs to check out the art installations and had fun playing some interactive games. I made some new acquaintances, several who were regulars and many new like myself. Later I went upstairs again and made more hellos. I was able to introduce myself to the neuroeconomist and ask him a couple of questions on oxytocin and get a hug to raise my levels.

I'll be returning. Fascinated to hear further talks from the smart, sexy and successful of Los Angeles who have a social sensibility to create a fun event that is "enlightened debauchery."

Nice to find a beautiful people scene that is refreshing and absolutely hip. Go on, expand your horizons and get on with your sexy geek self and get yourself to Mindshare LA.

JNET

Leave a Comment