TOASTMASTERS: Securing the Good Life

If it is in man's heart to be inherently good, then why do we work hard to teach goodness? So many ways to say the Golden Rule:

Islam: "Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you."

Confucianism: "Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself."

Christianity: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Ancient Eygpt: "That which you hate to be done to you, do not do to another"

I wonder if our idealistic notions over innocence and goodness undermine the mindfulness and practice it takes to secure a good life. Do we teach our young people to steal or do we have to teach them to not steal? Do we teach them to hit each other or do we have to teach them to not hit each other? Why do we need to teach people to not lie, not steal, and not harm one another? Perhaps goodness is not quite child's play.

Why bother with learning to live on purpose? There are books, retreats, seminars to attend toward securing the good life. Why so many breaths to ask, "Is this your very best you?"

What is good anyway? Isn't it the equivalent of being boring? Really now, is goodness a desired trait? Perhaps that is why we romance drama, sit on the edge of our seats for heartaches and make bets or cheer over knockouts.

Do we intend toward life going down or up?

Good Evening Fellow Toastmasters and Honored Guests. My name is JNET and I am presenting my 10th speech tonight titled Securing the Good Life. I hope to inspire you in my final speech completing the Competent Communicator Manual on this final month of the year, to secure the good life, hopefully keeping you on Santa's good side but most importantly your nearest and dearest good side.

Since goodness seems more like a practice or exercise as opposed to this spring of wonderfulness that just bubbles out of us, I will present securing the good life as a stretching exercise.

Everyone breathe. In... out. My first consideration for you is that goodness must begin firstly as an inside job. So breathe. We may have distracting thoughts in just breathing. I'm sure you have found yourself assaulted by them in your stillness. With each exhale, acknowledge that you can overcome doubts and fears. You are an intelligent and creative person created by an intelligence of which you are just a squeaky possibility that can go beyond just feeling and looking good. In this "breathing exercise" consider that you are not just a brownie point earning being but rather you are a vessel for the expression of goodness. Securing the good life begins with allowing the inside job of transformation.

Now everyone stretch. Stretching feels good. Doesn't it. How far do you enjoy your stretches in loving your life and the people in it? Stretching is a way to extend and connect to others. The good life does not come from sitting still and enjoying your transformation all by yourself. So we stretch and we stretch with purpose.

So is securing the good life as easy as breathing and stretching? How many of you exercise regularly every single day? How many of us still need to get those lessons our parents kept reprimanding us over? Don't hurt each other. Don't play too rough. Share!

We live in a world that likes to make fun of goodness and sensationalize badness. Securing the good life can get lost in your next distracted breath and from there we get too busy to stretch. Listen to your personal trainer, listen to your parents. Being on the team is a daily choice. Sometimes it may call for challenging choices like making a stand for yourself and preserving what you believe in. That can be very scary. Isn't it natural to want to run from fear and pain? Isn't that how we are wired?

Consider the ermine. This pretty animal's coat turns pure white during the winter. During other seasons its coat is brown and it is a called a stoat. In art, the ermine is a symbol of purity and the white coat is highly prized. But is this symbol of purity simply about its snow white pretty looks?

Hunting this creature down is interesting. It travels mostly alone and finds shelter in dens. Hunters look for these dens and coat the edges with tar or something sticky before chasing down the ermine. Why? Because when chased it will not go into its den where it will ruin its coat. The ermine will instead face the hunters, the dogs.

How many of us in this natural kingdom of ours face our aggressors? How would that set us apart? Breathe, stretch and make a stand to secure the good life.

JNET

Of Kings and Queens

I am thankful of the wonderful family I am part of. I am loved and I am honored.

Some families dread being together. Some families are flippant with one another. And some families find comfort in being invisible to one another.

But my family....

Arriving... whether to my mom's or either one of my brothers' homes or even my brothers' in-laws is always like arriving to a castle where there is celebrating. Sound out the trumpets!

My nieces call me Auntie Princess.

Life at the castle... the kingdoms built forth and fortified by my family and extended family is where I come from. Children laughing and running around. There is food celebrated as well as the persons who cooked or baked to be impressed with. Recipes are shared. There is entertainment, a movie watched together, pictures shared, a board game, my video of my dance performance in Acapulco... and lots of conversation woven through-out it all.

Praises towards achievements and encouragements towards goals peppered with lots of good humor is the way we spend our time together whether its the holidays or a random day together. Witty jousting always returns to a respectable close. Touche. And I notice that my brother never misses an opportunity to praise his wife whether in a crowd or in private conversation. NEVER :)

It is always nice to return home to the castle.

Shortly, I return back to my kingdom that I am building.

V: "JNET, we would love you to find someone like I have found in your brother." My sister-in-law is still gushing over my brother and they've been married for many years now.

JNET: "My brothers set the bar pretty high. I'll find my king in time."

Meanwhile, I mind my kingdom. I grow what I am blessed with and I protect what is put in my care. With or without a king, I am loved and honored because I am part of a kingdom.

And

I am Auntie Princess :)

JNET

At the End of Patience

I have been sick and bound to home for the past week. With fevers in the 100's and chills making me too dizzy to think, I was thankfully in the good care of friends who checked in regularly and brought me soup and good cheer.

A recurring thorn said its well meaning hello and then proceeded to tell me that I was a depressed and sad person that wouldn't be ill...

IF

I would just say yes to the universe for once to "love".

It always amazes me when someone insists in knowing me better than myself.

And this is a well meaning "friend" who promised to visit me and didn't even call when they knew they weren't going to make their appointment with me. TWICE. And this is a well meaning "friend" who criticizes the men in my life for not "taking care" of me when he himself had hired me for some freelance work many many many months ago and has yet not paid me.

I am unloading my well meaning friend now. If he is unaware of his promise making addiction then he is also unaware of my past willingness at forgiveness and patience which only comes from happy and whole people. I had told him as recently as this past month that I was willing to take on projects with him because I found his work interesting. I liked his friend and business partner, P and perhaps vested a good deal of trust on the goodness of P. I found others to work on GP's projects and liked the idea of friends helping friends' projects grow.

A sample of the promise machine's sputterings via text:

28/July Give me your account number. I will transfer money to you now.

Did not happen. I got this text poolside, on vacation. I gave him the info but at a later time... Meanwhile a bit of his life falls apart and he disappears for a bit.

5/October All is well. I will shoot you some money this week.

23/October I just bribed the studio to get me a check today. I know you need it.

28/October Thanks. Friday you get a care package.

Some people say that friends and money never mix. I say bad friends don't come through... whether its money or showing up to your birthday party. And well meaning doesn't mean well when it stops making you feel good about your friend.

This is my goodbye to GP, a once promising friend who became a promise making and breaking friend.

Official closing:

JNET: "I am cutting you loose, GP. I gave it a great deal of thought and thought it best. Good luck. P is a sweet and genuine and a good man (his business partner). Take care of yourself and your friends. Obviously, I am not one of them."

This was his answer.

GP: "We all do the best we can."

I am not inspired.

JNET